THR reported that Disney has picked up the rights to the brand new YA series Fallen. The first book is already out and there are three more yet to come, all of which Disney now own.

The story is strikingly similar to Meyer's vamp series. A misunderstood girl meets a mysterious boy that she's strangely drawn to. What's his ace in the hole? Why he's a fallen angel, doncha know, hence the title. Plus there's another angel, also fallen, that she's also drawn to, and they fight over her, as men are wont to do. Sign me up. And while we're at it bring on Legion, Hush Hush and Going Bovine.

via THR

The third movie in the Twilight Saga, Eclipse, will be on the big, big screen. Which means giant Bella lip biting, hot puppy fight action and abs as far as the eye can see.

The director for the third film, David Slade (30 Days of Night), will have to tackle the tricky plot details which are an all out vampire war with the red-headed Victoria, played by Bryce Dallas Howard who replaced the original actress from the first two films. Should be interesting to watch this all happen on a giant screen, but that also means giant drama sessions as Bella is still stuck in this wolf/vamp love triangle. And nothing says IMAX fun like a nice long talk about love between to teenagers, one in jean shorts.

[via Variety]

Awesome Decorations To Bring The Nerd Cred

Awful Crap. Who Came Up With This? Coal For Everybody.

Pitt's Plan B company will be producing Vlad, which focuses on the early life of the inspiration behind the Dracula myth. Written by Queer As Folk and Sons of Anarchy actor Charlie Hunnam, music video director Anthony Mandler is in talks to direct the project and head up a rewrite in order to bring it closer to the studio's vision of "a visually edgy and radical period movie" similar to 300. We can hardly wait... Oh, okay, we can.

Summit working on 'Dracula' remake [Heat Vision/The Hollywood Reporter]

Mad Max: Fury Road:

Just how big is the set for this film? Says star Tom Hardy:

It's massive. It's enormous," he continued. "It's like turning a mountain upside down and pouring it through a sieve.

Any clue what that means? It sounds epic, anyway. [MTV]

Avatar:

Not sure if we've already run this clip or not, but if not, then enjoy:

And here's a clip we definitely haven't shown you before. I love Neytiri wearing her sunglasses to ride her dragon. [Cineplex via Slashfilm]

The Lovely Bones:

Weird nitpicks: After Stanley Tucci's creepy pedophile murderer tosses his victim Susie Salmon's charm bracelet in the water, but keeps the "house" charm. But then we see all the charms expand into ice sculptures or clouds or topiaries — but the house charm is still among them. Also, before Susie dies we see her reading Seventeen magazine, but after she dies, she fantasizes she's the cover girl in Groovy Teen magazine. Towards the end of the movie, Susie sort of inhabits the body of a goth girl who looks like Emly the Strange, and makes out with Emily's boyfriend, whom Susie loved before she died. Then Susie goes to heaven permanently, and we see Emily and her boyfriend spooning, with no mention of the weird ghost possession make-out that just happened. [Black Book Mag]

Kick Ass:

A new character poster gives us a better look at the Red Mist. Bigger version at the first link. [AICN via Cinemablend]

Endangered Species:

A few new details about Eli Roth's Transformers-meets-Cloverfield movie. It's set against an urban backdrop. He's tweaking the script at Quentin Tarantino's suggestion. He's going to do some visual-effects tests, the results of which will determine how he shoots the thing. It's very character-driven, and he has some actors he's dying to work with. [MTV]

Eclipse:

A new picture of your favorite couple, Edward and Bella. [SpoilerTV-Movies]

Doctor Who:

As you may have heard, the show was filming in Croatia this past week, with the Doctor, Amy and new companion Rory in tow. (And some are claiming that Rory is Amy's boyfriend — is he the new Mickey Smith?) The Croatia filming appears to be for an episode taking place in the past, judging from some of the costumes. But don't believe the British media chatter that it's an episode about vampires — it's almost certainly the Van Gogh episode that Richard Curtis wrote. More pics at the links. [Sky and Hello!]

Here are a bunch of promo pics from "The End Of Time," David Tennant's swansong, one or two of which we may have shown you before. They include your first look at the alien, shapeshifting Vinovicci. [BlogtorWho and BSCReview]

Meanwhile, Britain's Radio Times has another cast list for "End Of Time" part 2, which conflicts with the IMDB version. Notably, no Harriet Jones. Hmmm...

David Tennant - The Doctor
John Simm - The Master
Bernard Gribbins - Wilfred Mott
Timothy Dalton - The Narrator
Catherine Tate - Donna Noble
Jacqueline King - Sylvia Noble
June Whitfield - Minnie Hooper
Claire Bloom - The Woman
David Harewood - Joshua Naismith
TRacy Ifeachor - Abigail Naismith
Lawry Lewin - Rossiter
Sinead Keenan - Addams
Alexandra Moen - Lucy Saxon
Karlo Collins - Shaun Temple
Teresa Banham - Governor
Barry Howard - Oliver Barnes
Allister Bain - Winston Katusi
Sylvia Seymour - Miss Trefusis
Pete Lee-Wilson - Tommo
Dwayne Scantlebury - Ginger
Joe Dixon - The Second
Julie Legrand - The Partisan
Brid Brennan - The Visionary
Krystal Archer - Neys
Lachele Carl - Trinity Wells
Paul Kasey - Ood Sigma
Ruari Mears - Elder Ood
Silas Carson - voice of Ood Sigma
Brian Cox - voice of Elder Ood
Nicholas Briggs - voice of Judoon

[BlogtorWho]

Caprica:

This Battlestar Galactica prequel just cast another actor to play William Adama — no, not the future Admiral, but his grandfather. Aleks Paunovic will play the father of Joseph Adama and grandfather to little Willie in some flashback scenes, and he'll be a recurring character. Paunovic already appeared on BSG, playing Sgt. Fischer. [Aleks Paunovic via Battlestar Blog]

Lost:

A deserted area of Hawaiian rainforest hides a new camp which has been set up for this show's sixth season. It doesn't look like much, though. More pics at the link. [SpoilersLost]

Another new set — a ship of some sort, or rather part of one. It's apparently designed so they can rock the deck back and forth and make it look like the ship is caught up in a huge storm. And considering that some prisoner types were hanging around in baggy brown clothes, it may be the Black Rock. More pics at the link. [SpoilersLost]

Jose Yenque tweeted that he's joining the cast of this show. [Twitter via SpoilersLost]

Also, Fionnula Flanagan told an Irish talk show she'll be back for two episodes as Eloise Hawking, not surprisingly. [SpoilersLost]

Fringe:

The cast reveals the names of the Observers, and discusses their significance. [Fringe Television]

Meanwhile, I'm hard-pressed to tell exactly what's going on in this new set video. I think Anna Torv is being blown across a parking lot by some mysterious force, but hard to say. There are seven more videos from the same person under this YouTube account. I do like one commenter who says the intrepid fan making these recordings should shave his/her head and wear a fedora. [Anon120409 on Youtube]

And here's a sneak peek and "scenemaker" for Thursday's new Walter-and-William episode. [FringeRus]

Supernatural:

The show is casting one of the Four Horsemen for the episode "My Bloody Valentine:

[FAMINE] 50 to 80 years old... He is one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. He is withered, weak, raspy. This character is a creepy and destructive old man filled with a voracious hunger...GUEST STAR

[CUPID] 30s to 40s, doughy, out of shape, naked, his humorously loving character greets everyone with enormous bear hugs that almost break their ribs. He is overflowing with love and positivity to an almost humorous and narcotic degree (think Will Farrell in "ELF" sptv050769)...GUEST STAR

[SpoilerTV]

Also, Julie McNiven says that when Anna goes back in time and tries to kill baby Sam in episode 13, it's for the best reasons:

Everything Anna does is motivated by wanting to do the right thing, wanting to do what she feels is going to keep this apocalypse from happening. I see Anna as always doing what she thinks is right and she's very strong about that and doesn't want to hear anything otherwise.

And she says there's some great hand-to-hand combat and throwdowns in the episode, and hints that Anna does actually survive to try and kill more babies in the future. [AOL]

The Survivors:

There will be a "high octane" second series of this British remake at some point, but no date yet. And here's what happens:

The series picks up moments after the thrilling cliff-hanger to the first series and the survivors are now struggling not just with the difficulties of day-to-day life amidst the ruins of the post-virus apocalypse but also with the threat of other emerging communities and the machinations of the sinister Lab.

As the series begins, Abby is being held by Whittaker and Fiona at the Lab. There, she learns that the scientists have avoided infection and are looking desperately for a vaccine which they believe her unique immune system alone will generate.

Meanwhile, the family races to save Greg's life as he lies dying from a gunshot wound. Drawn into a burning hospital by their search for the necessary medical equipment, Al and Anya are caught in an avalanche of rubble as the building collapses around them. Tom is faced with the stark challenge of rescuing his friends from a seemingly insurmountable disaster, with only Sarah and Naj to help him.

Characters returning for this high-octane second series are Abby, a devoted mother with a missing son; Greg, a loner, hiding the pain of his past; Anya, a doctor who has seen too much; Al, a playboy who becomes a surrogate father to the young and headstrong Najid; Sarah, a hedonist used to getting her own way; Tom Price, handsome, dangerous and a high-security prisoner before the virus hit; and Samantha Willis, the last surviving member of the British Government.

[Survivors BBC TV]

V:

So just who are the Visitors? Laura Vandervoort explains that they're basically Canadians. Also, she says her character is definitely somewhat evil, but she's not sure how much yet. [Multipleverses]

FlashForward:

Apparently the reason why the show took a week off was simple: Major, huge developments happen in the episodes that were going to be episodes 15 and 16, and the network looked at those scripts and decided they should be episodes 13 and 14 instead (so, less treading water.) And it's not clear whether the original episodes 13 and 14 were scrapped, or just retooled to appear later in the season. Also, the biggest reveals of the season happen in the next two episodes, 11 and 12, says David S. Goyer. [EW]

Chuck:

Episode 3x11 will be "Chuck Vs. The Final Exam." [ChuckTV]

And one more new promo reveals that we'll be seeing a "Whole New Chuck." He's a reluctant spy no longer.

Sanctuary:

In next week's episode, "Penance," Michael Shanks guest stars as an abnormal named Jimmy who has a special David Cronenberg-esque pouch in his stomach, which he can use to smuggle things for the Sanctuary — including, in this case, a dangerous abnormal. Some bad guys get involved, and he's forced to go on the run with Kate, leading to a big secret for the two of them being revealed. And then in the following week's "Sleepers," Will and Magnus are in Mexico looking into some missing teenagers, and they run into vampire Nikoka Tesla, who's up to no good. [Sci Fi Wire]

Additiional reporting by Mary Ratliff.

Lautner has signed on to play the title role in Steel, which brings the Mattel toy line about an "extreme sports junkie" who gets turned into a superspy following an accident that leaves him full of nanobots to movies. According to Variety, Paramount are hoping that this could be another Transformers-esque successful franchise, but we think they're thinking too small: Maximize the Twilight crossover, get Robert Pattinson to sign on as main bad guy John Dread, make them spend half the movie shirtless and watch it become the most successful box office release ever.

Taylor Lautner to star in 'Max Steel' [Variety]

By splitting Breaking Dawn into two separate movies, Summit would be following in Warners' Harry Potter footsteps; that studio will release the final novel, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows in two installments on November 2010 and July 2011 respectively. But while such a move would mean the chance for two box office smashes instead of one, it also means renegotiating the contracts for the franchise's stars, as well as entering into new negotiations for approval from Twilight creator Stephenie Meyer.

Complicating matters is the choice of director; Summit are said to be eager for New Moon's Chris Weitz to return, but he may not be available, having already lined up his next project... which is also a Summit project, and still requiring final approval. Would the studio bribe Weitz by promising to greenlight whatever he wants? Will Meyer stand in the way of another movie? Will we have to deal with Twihards for longer than we'd originally thought? Only time will tell.

Summit's 'Twilight' dilemma [Variety]

Beautiful Creatures (published today by Little, Brown) is the first in a five-volume series written by Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl that centers around Ethan Wate, a high school student who hates the town he lives in until he meets and falls for Lena Duchanne, who just so happens to have magical powers as the result of a curse that's existed in her family for generations. The movie will be written and directed by The Fisher King and The Bridges of Madison County screenwriter Richard LaGravanese, who explained why he thinks this series will convince Twihards looking for a new drug:

I love supernatural stories that have well drawn mythologies, and I liked that this book has all the basic elements of a classic first love story with a supernatural layer over it... So the first time they hear the words boyfriend and girlfriend, they accidentally overhear each other telepathically. Their first kiss comes after he saves her life and their first date is part of a bigger adventure that leads to the unraveling of the mysterious curse that haunts her family.

We knew it had to happen, but did it really have to happen this lazily?

WB, LaGravanese Bewitched By Book [Variety]

Right now the fans have identified 22 flaws, and counting. We've listed a few funny ones below, but we'd like to contribute some mind-benders of our own. First, the impossibility that is Jacob's transformation to a dog 4 times his size, where does this extra matter go or come from! Also his magic shattering clothes I wish all clothes burst into bits like that. Plus the jean-shorts conundrum. Why are these jean shorts always around — don't they shatter too? Is there some cave in the forest stocked with jean shorts so the werepuppies can slip them on after a fight? We may never know.

But here are a few of the problems the fans have identified:

When Jacob first shows off his tattoo, it is up at the top of his shoulder. Then when he is in the forest at the end with Bella and Edward, his tattoo is about 2 inches further down his arm.

When Bella is flying to Italy they show a Virgin America airplane. Virgin America only flies within certain cities in the US. Virgin Atlantic flies from the US to Europe.

Just as Jacob enters Bella's room through the window, a stunt prop - white band on his right wrist - is briefly visible.

In the montage scenes where we see Bella's depression, when the camera is circling her, the camera man is shown in the mirror (twice) behind her.

The rims of the vampires contacts can be spotted occasionally during the film, especially the Volturi's during the ending scenes — e.g., Jane's in the elevator.

In the main title when the giant new moon appears on the screen the shadow fades over the moon from right to left when it should actually fade from left to right. The moon travels around the earth clockwise. The waning moon should turn to a new moon, not the waxing which is shown.

See the rest at Movie Mistakes.

Recently, I conducted back-to-back readings of Stephenie Meyer's Twilight and the Harvard Lampoon's Nightlight. I was curious: Would the parody deconstruct the original with biting wit, until all that was left was emperor-style nudity? Or would Meyer's kajillion-selling novel brush away the satirists like horseflies, and stand on its own merits?

Below, some findings. The uninitiated should know that spoilers for both novels lie ahead. (In the interest of transparency, I ought to note that I know one of the authors on the Harvard Lampoon staff, though I have no idea which parts of Nightlight she had a hand in writing.)

Plot-Per-Page Ratio

Twilight is 498 pages long and contains approximately three events. There's a car crash that almost happens, and an exposition-heavy showdown in a dance studio. Also, some vampires play baseball. Reading Twilight with an eye for plot markers is a bit like driving through rural flatland with the radio on: every now and then you'll hear a snatch of something interesting, but for the most part it's just static.

Nightlight is only 154 pages, and manages to squeeze in a cockeyed version of almost everything that happens in Twilight, plus a blood-soaked prom and a scene where a vampire menaces a young couple in a graveyard. Advantage: Nightlight.

Characters

After spending five hundred pages in the company of Twilight protagonists Bella Swan and Edward Cullen, here's what I know about them: Bella is clumsy and prefers bookstores to dress shopping. Edward is handsome, and attractive. Lest you think he's one-dimensional, though, Meyer is careful to note that he's very easy on the eyes.

Nightlight offers parody counterparts Belle Goose and Edwart Mullen. Written less as characters than joke-clotheslines, these two are nevertheless more memorable than Meyer's swoony couple. Belle may be delusional, but she's also headstrong and sure of her own personal magnetism, a distinct improvement over passive, self-doubting Bella. And Edwart Mullen isn't actually a vampire — he's an undersocialized gamer with pronounced hypochondria. But he's not prone to inscrutable smirking or blink-and-you'll-miss-it mood shifts, like some immortals we could name.

Prose Style

Only you will know whether you want to read 498 pages of Stephenie Meyer's dialogue-attribution verbs. Lines are "said" and "asked," but they're also "encouraged," "warned," "admitted," "breathed," "nodded," "urged," "gasped" and "coaxed." This isn't the only thing that matters about a work of fiction, of course, but it's such a basic point that it's worrisome when an author can't get it right.

Not every joke in Nightlight hits its mark, but the dialogue tags are knocked down early and brilliantly. From page 11:

"So what's Phoenix like?" he beseeched.

With one word, the authors of Nightlight show they're paying more attention to what they're writing than Stephenie Meyer does in the course of a novel.

Livejournal user kar3ning was reminded of something after going to see New Moon recently:

According to the National Domestic Violence hotline, these are some signs that you may be in an emotionally or physically abusive relationship.

Does your partner:
* Look at you or act in ways that scare you?
Check.

* Control what you do, who you see or talk to or where you go?
"Stay away from the werewolves. I love you."

* Make all of the decisions?
Check.

* Act like the abuse is no big deal, it's your fault, or even deny doing it?
"If I wasn't so attracted to you, I wouldn't have to break up with you."

* Threaten to commit suicide?
"I just can't live without you. In fact, I'll run to Italy and try suicide by vampire if anything happens to you."

* Threaten to kill you?
On their first date.

These are some more signs of an abusive relationship.
Has your partner...
* Tried to isolate you from family or friends.
Bella doesn't have time for anyone else!

* Damaged property when angry (thrown objects, punched walls, kicked doors, etc.).
Check.

* Pushed, slapped, bitten, kicked or choked you.
Does tossing her through a glass table count?

* Abandoned you in a dangerous or unfamiliar place.
"We're breaking up. And I'm leaving you in the forest."

* Scared you by driving recklessly.
Check.

* Forced you to leave your home.
She had to run away with him to flee from the other vampires in the first movie, and she had to drop everything and run to Italy in the second.

* Prevented you from calling police or seeking medical attention.
Check. Even in the hospital, nothing is a big deal.

* Views women as objects and believes in rigid gender roles.
Well, they are Mormon... (I know, I know, cheap shot.)

* Accuses you of cheating or is often jealous of your outside relationships.
Check, wolf-boy.

Now I'm pissed. According to the NDVH, "If you answered ‘yes' to even one of these questions, you may be in an abusive relationship." This list is fifteen.

We'd be interested in hearing Stephenie Meyer's (Or even some Twihards') response to this, but somehow don't imagine that one is forthcoming.

What Do You See In Him Again? [Captain's Log]

Twilight of the Midnight Sons: Twi Harder may just be the latest episode of Marvel's What The?! online comedy videos, but admit it; that's a better ending than New Moon managed.

[YouTube]

Sometimes, you just need an escape from the relentlessness of the Thanksgiving celebrations, and Hollywood has been there for you — at least, some years. Certainly, in recent years, there have always been a couple of oddball films coming out for T-Day — but in previous years, it was hit and miss. Here's the complete list of Thanksgiving counterprogramming of the past 25 years, including some stuff that's not science fiction but is in some sense genre film.

All movie titles link to IMDB or Box Office Mojo pages containing release dates:

1984

Supergirl A movie guaranteed to make you give thanks that you're never going to see it again — and a strong contender for the worst superhero film of all time. What I want to know is, what sort of guy sees his buddy blown thirty feet across the parking lot, and then decides to try and attack Supergirl using a switchblade?

1985

Rocky IV The good news is, it would inspire you to go get in shape after eating all that turkey and stuffing, thanks to one of the most classic training montages ever:

1986

Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home The most fun of the original cast movies, this probably would have been a good one to escape to with your family. Although the famous "Shatner underwater" scene might have proved distressing.

Solarbabies I'm convinced there's something very broken about this post-apocalyptic rollerblading film, but at least on the surface it looks very wholesome. Except for the part where the woman with the huge shoulderpads says, "Lock it down and disembowel it."

1988

Cocoon: The Return I'm not sure anybody should have to deal with Steve Gutenberg on a full stomach.

1989

Back to the Future 2 Given that Marty McFly's mom gets bizarre breast implants and becomes Biff Tannen's bitch, this is definitely a good film for a family outing.

1990

Predator 2 The underrated cop drama/Predator attack movie starring Danny Glover... it's really not as bad as you remember.

Robot Jox This, on the other hand... giant mecha gladiators, fighting it out with chainsaw crotches and other armaments... this is what family is all about.

1992

The Crying Game Terrorists, thugs, and the great transgender panic of 1992. I bet you took your mom to see this one.

1994

Junior Pregnant Arnold Schwarzenegger, watching sentimental movies and crying a lot, will help you understand your own family. Really.

1995

Casino It's an underrated Scorsese classic, full of brutality and weirdness. Perfect Thanksgiving fare.

Nick of Time I may be the only person who saw this movie in the theater. Johnny Depp has 90 minutes to kill someone or other, or else Christopher Walken will kill someone or other. Mostly worth it to watch Depp and Walken overacting in a shopping mall. And for Walken saying, "I'll make you a sauce for that black Irish cocksucker's meat." I'm happy this and the Scorsese film were the main choices for Thanksgiving 1995.

1997

Alien Resurrection The whole time you're with your family, you can imagine you're actually hanging out with lesbian android Winona. Or you can just daydream about what this movie could have been if they'd filmed Joss Whedon's screenplay.

1998

Very Bad Things A sex worker gets killed at a bachelor party — and then things turn ugly. Probably just like your family gatherings. It does star Jon "Iron Man" Favreau, and it's directed by Peter "Hancock" Berg.

1999

End of Days Satan and Thanksgiving — and Arnie! They fit together perfectly! Satan is looking for his Bride... so it's about family and relationships and stuff.

2000

Unbreakable A horrific act of mass murder brings to light a guy who can find the rapists and creeps in our midst. It's light family entertainment — but it does deal with some real questions about the power of story. So yeah, probably a good one to get out of the house for.

Quills This, on the other hand — the Marquis De Sade! In full effect! I'm betting many of you dragged your entire family to see this.

2001

Black Knight Martin Lawrence gets zapped back to the Middle Ages, and presumably, goes medieval on their asses. Enough to make your entire family commit mass suicide, Heavens Gate-style.

The Devil's Backbone An early Guillermo Del Toro classic, and more proof that horror owns Thanksgiving. Your family doesn't deserve this movie.

2002

Solaris You could watch Steven Soderbergh's trippy-ass remake of Tarkovsky's classic while you're already wigged out on tryptophan. Why not?

Wes Craven Presents: They Or you could have seen this gem — they're coming for you!

2003

Timeline "Your father is in the 14th. century." Hey, maybe he can hang out with Martin Lawrence there!

2006

The Fountain And speaking of trippy movies when you're already stoned on tryptophan... at least your entire family will each have different opinions about what happened in this film.

Tenacious D in: The Pick of Destiny Jack Black! Rocking out! It's bound to make more sense than The Fountain.

2007

Hitman A video game adaptation about a guy who kills people and thwarts some vague conspiracy thing. Probably the purest example of counterprogramming ever.

The Mist Given the shocking, ultra-secret ending, this is an... interesting choice for a family occasion. If you don't want to be spoiled, don't watch this clip:

2008

Transporter 3 It's a threequel starring Jason Statham. How can it be bad?

Twilight You probably have at least one family member who's as creepy as Edward. So it's good to get some perspective.

2009

The Road And then we're up to this year's crop... this whole movie is as depressing as The Mist's ending. But at least it does have a genuinely pro-family message.

Ninja Assassin This is the film we'll probably actually be watching on T-day. Ninjas! Wachowskis! James McTeigue! Out-and-out mayhem!

Additional reporting by Mary Ratliff.

Healey writes:

Bella is often accused of passivity, but although there are certainly faults to be found with her fixation on romance to the exclusion of all other interests, she doesn't actually lack forward momentum. She's the sexual aggressor and instigator of change in her relationship, hurtling through milestones at breakneck speed-first love, first soul-crushing breakup, marriage, sex, childbirth, and motherhood in less than two years-before achieving her goal of eternity in a fairy-tale cottage with her loving family. Her transformation is agonizing and traumatic, but, aware of the risks and owning her choice, she pushes unrelentingly for it anyway. Although I do wonder if Bella's really considered the ramifications of repeating high school over and over again, as her husband and new siblings-in-law do-after this ultimate transformation, she has perfection, but a static and essentially unchanging one.

All in all, I think I prefer YA where the protagonists aren't ever totally satisfied with their transformations. I like fiction that acknowledges the difficulty and terror of acquiring new bodies and new attitudes, but promises that change is not only inevitable, but can be a mindful and ongoing process of self-making, aiming for better days ahead.

via Strange Horizons

Heroin For Teens!

TMZ has a picture of Twilight Heroin baggies taken from West Hempstead, Long Island. Apparently they've been getting more popular these last few months.

Random Bitings

An ABC affiliate is reporting that a 17-year-old girl was bitten by a man after getting harassed in a New Moon screening.

The victim was watching the teen vampire romance movie with another friend when she says a man behind them started making sexual comments to them. After the movie was over, the man allegedly bit the girl on the neck. The bite did not break the girl's skin.

Ugh.

Vibrating Edward

And finally this super fan from Pillow Biters made a plastic pocket size vibrating Edward doll, and then had the actor who plays Jasper autograph it. Come on — you could of at least taped Jasper's face to it!

And thanks to New Moon.org for pointing out that you can make Edward and Jacob kiss in the new EW magazine spread.

The movie's final opening day gross was $72.7 million, which included a second record of $26.3 million for the movie's 12:01 Friday showings alone. The Friday take not only sailed past the Dark Knight's previous record of $67.2 million, but was more than double the original Twilight's debut of $36 million.

Right now, estimates for the movie's weekend haul are somewhere in the region of $125-130 million, which will leave one Dark Knight record intact (It made $158.4 million in its first weekend). But that doesn't mean that estimates could be wildly underestimating the appeal of shirtless, hairless supernatural teenagers. After all, the original weekend estimate was around $85 million...

'New Moon' breaks boxoffice record [Hollywood Reporter]

Side A, Vampires:

Blade, Blood Club

Once Bitten, "Hands Off"

Fright Night, "Good Man In A Bad Time"

Love At First Bite, With The Original Track "I Love The Night Life"

Twilight Prom Dance Clip

The Hunger

Side B, Werewolves:

Werewolf Steppers: He Jumps over A Bear Trap!

Werewolves Dance - For more funny videos, click here

Werewolf Bar Mitzvah

Teen Wolf Dance

Teen Wolf Too "Shut Up And Dance"

Additional writing and reporting by Caitlin Petrakovitz.

Edward Reminds You To "Be Safe" In Bed


Get a shadowy Edward Silhouette wall decal to stand guard over your bed and remind you all that you shouldn't have sex until you're married and it kills you — or ride dirt bikes. It's $60, but think of it this way: it's an investment in your sex life. Contraceptives are expensive, but this wall decal will keep everyone out of your bedroom for years.

Share The Dream Together Sheets

Surround yourself with vampire love, hearts, and shame. Available at ebay.

Go Green With Twilight

Now you can be sparkly and Green. Team Jacob And Team Edward water bottles, sold at a fast food joint. Hypocrisy, thy name is Edward!

Smell Like Your Favorite New Moon Character

Vampire and Werewolf body lotions, soaps and oils. Poor Alice: her trademark scent is described as "spirited" while Edward is "intoxicating" and Bella is "irresistible." Anyone else wishing Jacob's smelled like wet dog?

Twilight Bed Crown

Live in your own moody death shroud, for a mere $14.00.

Twilight Checkbook Cover

This might be a really clever joke, since Twilight is one of the biggest cash cows in history — but we have a feeling there's no sardonic wit involved in this Twilight checkbook cover.

Bella's Womb

Well, it was bound to happen, someone was bound to make a felt version of Bella Swan's womb... wait WHAT. HER WOMB? SOMEONE FELTED HER WOMB? WITH THE MUTATED BLOOD-CRAVING ADULT BABY RENESMEE INSIDE? TELL US WHY. WHAT DO YOU DO WITH THIS??

Twilight Mosaic Table

Maybe Joseph Fiennes would want to decorate his back patio with this. Ha ha ha ha ha it's a FlashForward joke. But seriously, he probably would want this exquisitely crafted piece of furniture.

My Mommy's a "Bella" Onesie

If your mommy really is a "Bella", that means you are a demon spawn whose father had to rip through your mommy's stomach with his vampire teeth to release you from her womb. You also will grow abnormally fast, be a child forever, and have a totally consensual love affair with a werewolf 17 years your senior. So that's good.

Twilight Converse

Better not scuff these up, y'all. There is no greater art form than puffy paint-decorated Chucks.

Bella's St. Jude Bracelet

Bella's St. Jude bracelet from Hot Topic keeps the apocryphal apostle close to your heart, but we have no idea why - THIS IS NOT IN THE BOOK; THIS IS NOT CANON, PEOPLE.

Cross Stitch Abs

Who doesn't want to spend hours cross stitching abs on your sweat shit? Well now you can.

Bella's Wedding Ring

Yes you guys. You too can rush into a teen marriage prematurely, so that you can have sex without remorse. And have a demon grow in your uterus. And name her Renesmee. All because of this heavenly bauble.

Twilight Pillow
Apparently MS Paint is still the preferred mode of digital creativity in the wonderful world of Stephenie Meyer, so here is an artfully designed pillow featuring a lamb jumping off a cliff. IT'S A METAPHOR. For... Twilight girls with suicidal urges after their boyfriends break up with them. It's beautiful.

Golden Contacts

Fangs are so passé, everyone knows that eye color are the real indicator of a propensity for blood sucking and sex-abstaining.

Twi Shower

Nothing says "early morning heart attack" quite like a greeting from a giant, pissed off, floating vampire head in your bathroom. It's the Twilight shower curtain, and it's only $60.

Wolf Pack Packaging Tape

Now you can give your gifts a Wolf Pack tattoo when you wrap and send them! Not to mention the hours of entertainment you'll get out of "giving" some poor unsuspecting boy a tape tattoo ("I promise it won't hurt to take off!") . Available at the Twilight center for entertainment joy, Hot Topic.

Salt & Vampire Pringles

Now you don't need to continue stalking R-Patz to find out that vampires apparently taste exactly like vinegar and are in fact used as a substitute for it. Just try these limited edition Pringles!

Hey, if vamps can eat us, why not the other way around?

Cullen Crest bra

The jury's still out on whether or not this one is real, but if so, you had better be a well endowed girl who doesn't mind showing off that space where cleavage usually goes. If you're good with that, then show off this crest of a family you'll never belong to! Because they're fake! And not real! HEAR ME? IT'S A MOVIE, PEOPLE.

TwiCrotch: Edward Panties

I'm sure the vamp facing panties we introduced you to a few weeks ago are already high on your wish list, but we definitely wanted to remind you of the awesomeness of them. I mean, who doesn't need panties where the crotch faces INSIDE. Yeah, mull that one over, fans.

Some of the most sensational, embarrassing and frankly gross Twilight saying tees, buttons and bags.

Love at First Bite Cookbook

In Twilight, Esme and company invite Bella over for some Italiano, so now you too can extend a lil vampire hospitality to your favorite friends who will gaze at you in silence, shaking their heads with sadness that you trust Stephenie Meyer with your discerning palate, as you try to whip up some favorites from Love at First Bite including Bella's Lasagna, Harry's Famous Fish Fry, and of course mushroom ravioli as the main course. See Twilight lunchbox for further instructions.

Twilight board game
The Twiboard game (So I have a thing for prefacing random words with Twi. Sue me.) was first glimpsed with the release of the New Moon logo, and for that reson, I fear it my have been swept under the table. Not to worry, I'm here to remind you of all its cute family-crest play pieces, and the wonderfully poorly done Monopoly rip-off. Rush your order now, for hours of love and blood-sucking enjoyment. I mean, I'm just guessing.

Bella's Birthday Dress
For maximum effect, make sure your hair isn't done and you wear black cons - this is like the American Girl Doll dress up gone horribly wrong. Especially since this is the dress Bella gets smacked around in, for her protection. Available at Hot Topic not that we tried it on or anything, shut up!

Twilight Barbie replicas
Added to the category of slightly creepy yet totally keeping in tune with the rest of the great merch, Mattel commissioned replicas of Bella and Edward whose plastic skins are whiter than white (though Eddie doesn't seem to sparkle as much as we would have thought). They're not available yet, but come November 25, snatch one up for the Twilhards in your life, so they can creepily act out the books on their own!

The Vamp: The Sparkly Dildo
If nothing else on this slightly disturbing list can help you get as close to Edward as you'd like, please consider Tantus's sparkly The Vamp dildo in its cool pink color. Back when we showed you it was available, don't forget to throw it in the fridge before using it though, so you're sure to get that cold, lifeless feeling a real vamp's sparkly cock would be sure to have.

Eddie's Volvo

Are you a relatively affluent middle aged man or woman who loves both Twilight and midrange luxury vehicles? Then you should enter this contest. We don't think you will have that much competition.

Twi-Socks

So your ankles can be "beautiful."

Bumper Stickers

Two things about these bumper stickers and window decals. First, the Cullens are terrible drivers. And second, remember when moms used to be proud of their kids with those horrible "I have an honor students at such and such High School"? We miss those stickers.

Dell Twilight Skins

Yup, in additon to swathing your monetary woes (presumably from spending so much on Twilight junk) in your Twilove, you may now keep your poor Dell warm with Twilight skins!

Don't forget to rip that giant sticker off carefully when you grow up though.

Star Trek:

By all accounts, there's still no script for the sequel, so any predictions anyone might make are purely based on what they had for lunch. But after saying J.J. Abrams told him he'll be in the sequel a week or so ago, Bruce Greenwood is now saying he may not be there after all.

I'm not sure if we'll see Pike or not. He was mainly there to bring Kirk aboard the Enterprise and it's hard to say if he'll be popping up in the sequel.

[MovieWeb]

And co-writer Roberto Orci says that even if Khan is in the sequel, chances are it'll be a character they created, who they then decide to turn into Khan:

Cause in a way, even if we do Khan, or not, we're trying to approach the story as just what's best for it, and then [asking] can that character become Khan or not, you know. You're not trying to rely on previous knowledge or love of it, so you almost want to strip all the names away and just come up with the emotional forces and the scientific forces that are going to come into play, and then start letting the details kind of bleed in.

[Newsarama]

Avatar:

Here's a new French poster for this James Cameron alien epic! [Slashfilm]

Daybreakers:

Here's a new European poster for this vampire epic. [ShockTillYouDrop]

New Moon:

Taylor Lautner admits the film never really addresses the fact that he should be naked when he changes back from a werewolf into a human. [MTV]

Planet 51:

More (mostly negative) reviews, more spoilers for this animated "we're the alien invaders" film. The 1950s jokes include a parody of "Duck and Cover" drills. The planet's skies rain rocks instead of water. Chuck's alien friend Lem is an astronomy nut, who's convinced the universe is only 500 miles wide and his planet is the biggest one. Also helping Chuck are a comic book geek, Skiff, and Lem's love interest Neera. The aliens sent to track down Chuck are led by General Grawl (Gary Oldman! What will Gary Oldman not do?). Chuck only has 48 hours to return to his spaceship, or it'll return to Earth without him. [Star Telegram and the Canadian Press and Alibi]

Lost:

Ian Somerhalder says the script for the season opener is so detailed, it weighed three pounds. And he had to wear the same clothes he wore in the original pilot. He'll be back for a couple more episodes after the first one. [ABC News]

Meanwhile, Lost was filming in the old Honolulu Police Station, which was previously seen as the lockup where Sarah bailed Jack out. Some filming included LAPD cruisers, and Josh Holloway was the main character on set. [Hawaii Weblog]

Doctor Who:

The BBC posted an eight-second audio clip from "The End Of Time":

Dollhouse:

Three new stills from "The Left Hand" showcase tons of destruction centering around Summer Glau. [SpoilerTV]

Fringe:

Olivia's niece is back in tonight's episode, but her sister remains MIA. [EW]

And here's a behind-the-scenes glimpse of tonight's episode.

Also, here's what happens in episode 2x09, "Snakehead":

After a cargo ship runs aground, the shoreline becomes littered with bodies hosting a giant squid-like creature. The Fringe team descends upon the scene to examine the bodies and discovers that the mysterious organisms are actually giant parasites.

And here are some pictures from the episode. [FringeSpoilers and FringeSpoilers]

And in episode 2x15, we'll meet a slightly overweight seven-year-old boy with brown hair and very blue eyes. [SpoilerTV]

V:

Now that Scott Rosenbaum is taking over as showrunner for the 2010 episodes, he says the series will become more fast-paced and we'll get more answers about the mythology of the Visitors faster. He adds:

Listen, my goal is that in every single episode there will be an "Oh my God, I can't believe that happened" moment, or a "Wow" moment – at least one – in every single episode. And I think that would not only be a mythology plot reveal, but also a character reveal. I want the characters to be able to make mistakes, to make the wrong choices sometimes, and that's where you get the most amount of drama. I would prefer that the stories come from them making mistakes, and the snowball effect of those mistakes, or, rather than mistakes, choices made for the right reason, but then there are consequences of that. I don't want people to watch this show and ever be able to guess what's going to happen next, because that's the problem with some of the TV I watch.

We'll delve into questions like what the Visitors eat, whether they're capable of love or empathy, and so on. [SciFiTVZone]

Supernatural:

The show's 100th episode, airing in March or April, will be a big one for Jensen Ackles. (Does he say "Yes" to Michael in it??) [EW]

Smallville:

Chloe's love interest is called Steven Swift, aka Warrior Angel. (Bwa ha ha ha.) And he's played by Carlo Marks, who played Chloe's "what if" fiance back in season seven's "Apocalypse." [EW]

Star Wars: Clone Wars:

Here's a new image from Friday's episode, "Legacy Of Terror," in which:

When Luminara disappears while tracking the Geonosian warlord, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker lead a platoon of clone troopers in search of her. Following her trail, the heroes descend deep into the lair of the grotesque Geonosian queen – Karina the Great – where they discover that the hive is alive and teeming with undead defenders

Additional reporting by Mary Ratliff.