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Twilight Should Shed Its Vampire Drag And Embrace Its Sappy Self

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AmishJohn
11/21/08

In reply to Twilight Should Shed Its Vampire Drag And Embrace Its Sappy Self
Some, um interesting lines from MSN's review:

"Sadly, the humor from "Twilight" doesn't come from interpretive dance or singing clowns.

Like a taco burp, it arises unbidden at all the wrong moments."

"Confidential memo to Robert Pattinson, who plays Edward: Next time, wax your chest hair. Edward is supposed to look like he's carved from marble, not lambs' wool."
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Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H.
11/20/08

In reply to Twilight Should Shed Its Vampire Drag And Embrace Its Sappy Self
dammit, I'm behind on my South Park episodes.

Local review went for the obvious "Put a stake in it", 2 references to Abercrombie and Finch. Said the villains were "Ziggy Stardust rejects in Ren Faire outfits". Said vamp boy talks like Chris Walken.
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AmishJohn
11/20/08

@Evil Tortie's Mom: Please, do not sully the fine name of Christoher Walken by using it in the same language as this steamin' pile.
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Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H.
11/20/08

@AmishJohn: Hey, it wasn't me, it was him!
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Bellatrixie
11/20/08

In reply to Twilight Should Shed Its Vampire Drag And Embrace Its Sappy Self
You gain a point for the use of "verisimilitude " and lose one for spelling. You also lose a point for assuming that tween girls didn't like The Dark Knight.
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Charlie Jane Anders
11/20/08

@Bellatrixie: G-dawg didn't say tween girls didn't like the Dark Knight. He did say the Dark Knight was not *for* tween girls, which is pretty unarguable.
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AmishJohn
11/20/08

In reply to Twilight Should Shed Its Vampire Drag And Embrace Its Sappy Self
Is Human / Vampire romance bestiality, or just 'playing with your food'?
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KyleSukari
11/20/08

In reply to Twilight Should Shed Its Vampire Drag And Embrace Its Sappy Self
Robert Pattinson may not be the best actor in the world, but he is nowhere as bad as you have said in your review. Go watch How To Be and Little Ashes, and you'll know.
He shouldn't have taken up the role of Edward, because I'm pretty sure that no matter how he acted in it, there would be bad reviews, because the character is not realistic and the dialogues are cheesy.
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Little Time Bomb
11/20/08

@KyleSukari: It's an opinion thing.
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Alexis
11/20/08

In reply to Twilight Should Shed Its Vampire Drag And Embrace Its Sappy Self
This movie is going to have an amazing opening and drop like a pile of bricks by week three. It's sad that movies like this want to water down the genre aspect of it so much. People have this whole perception of "it's good, even though it has vampires." If they're going to have vampires, why not take it there and make them very very different. And the acting? I haven't seen a shred of well delivered dialogue in the whole damn trailer.

"You're pale and your hands are as cold as ice."

"Say it"

"Vampire."

This is just laughable. Even if I didn't know shit about this movie beforehand, I can't imagine EVER wanting to go see it from the trailer. And what's with the "Twilight" logo that borders every TV spot? Could it be just another example of the movie shying away from vamps so much that it has to loudly identify it as a Twilight movie? This looks like a lame direct to dvd sequel to The Covenant.
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