The Pitt
Few remember - and maybe with good reason - the end of Marvel's late-'80s experiment, the New Universe, in which a man driven mad with seemingly-unlimited power accidentally turns Pittsburgh into a radioactive crater by trying to get rid of his powers, and the world goes to hell from that point onwards: America becomes filled with irradiated monsters, nuclear war and godlike children who demand that we make war no more, or else. A weird and forgotten piece of post-Watchmen superheroics, but one that mixes old-school and new-school with an admittedly naive worldview that still may be too big for one movie.

Secret Wars
One of comics' first as-many-superheroes-at-once extravaganza, it's not just the idea of bringing the Avengers, X-Men, Fantastic Four and random other characters (Spider-Man! The Hulk!) together to battle an army of supervillains that might make this colorful story too expensive to film, but the creation of a patchwork planet for them to fight on, along with the various alien races and/or technology that they meet along the way. Then again, the comic was created to support a 1980s toyline, and we all know how well Transformers and GI Joe have done for movie studios, so perhaps we should never say never...

Ultimatum
This year's strange superhero disaster movie killed off a number of Marvel's more popular characters, amongst them Wolverine, Thor and Doctor Doom - but only in their alternate timeline, "Ultimate" incarnations. Nonetheless, the story - in which Magneto causes all manner of "natural" disasters, destroys New York and decimates the superhero population of the planet before finally being stopped by a mix of X-Men and other superheroes - is pretty much 2012 with added superheroes, the idea of which may be the ultimate (No pun intended) high concept, but the cost of which would make most effects budgets weep.

Invasion!
DC's 1988 crossover is ID4 meets Star Wars, and then some: Different races of alien invade Earth to find out why the planet keeps producing so many superheroes, in the process destroying Australia (This is back when you could do that kind of thing without people getting upset that you've killed off an entire continent), performing genetic experiments on normal humans to see if there's some latent superhero gene (There is) and fighting a war on two fronts, as Earth's superheroes defend their planet with the help of some turncoat aliens. With a cast that's about 50% alien (And multiple types of alien, at that, with only a couple achievable with Star Trek-esque nose attachments), space battles and all manner of high-scale superheroic takes on your favorite war movies, this would be a sfx extravaganza... If anyone would ever be able to afford it.

Flex Mentallo
Flipping between "reality," imaginary worlds, time periods and everywhere in between, Flex may just be one of those unfilmable projects even before you start to think about how much it'd cost to have an army of superheroes destroy a city, combine to form a new reality that we live in, or even just have the orgy that proves Frederic Werthem right. But factor in the need to create surreal fictitious cities for the young Wally to get lost in, atomic explosions and mutations or even just costumes to match Frank Quitely's awesome fashion sense, and you're left with the kind of movie that would need Watchmen-esque precision and care, but for an even-less mainstream audience friendly story.

DC One Million
Again, just the scale of work needed to bring this story to life would make most people in charge of budgets get nervous: Taking place in two different eras (Today and the 853rd century), on multiple planets and with large-scale destruction brought about by a nano-technological virus that comes from a living robotic sun, the necessary design process alone would probably scare off movie producers before it even came to the idea of making it all look convincing. A cast of hundreds of superheroes from both eras (Including a Superman from the future who has to sparkle, just like Twilight's Edward) would just add to cost woes.

Crisis On Infinite Earths
Talking of casts of hundreds of superheroes, DC's 1985 big daddy of all superhero crossovers is the kind of thing that would have to be told in a series of movies, and even then would still be missing all manner of greatness: Requiring multiple Earths to be created just so they could be destroyed, taking place in multiple time periods - including a part of the story where the time periods merge together so we get to see World War II fighter planes fight dinosaurs - and with almost every character in the story (and there really are hundreds) a superhuman and requiring some level of ridiculous costume and special effects to be made real. While it might not be the greatest comic ever (Or even the greatest superhero comic), this might be the most perfect example of a story that is too full of ideal comic book imagination and spectacle to ever make it to the silver screen.

For those scared off by the idea of dropping many clams on collected editions, I'd like to steer you in the direction of the first issues of The Unknown: The Devil Made Flesh (Mark Waid's supernatural super-science mystery series comes back for a second go-around). Also, there's Spider-Man: The Clone Saga (in which one of the 1990s' worst mistakes gets a second chance as original architects of the storyline Howard Mackie and Tom DeFalco do it over and try to do it right, this time.) And finally, the GI Joe: Cobra Special, which - as unlikely as it sounds - is a thriller that plays with the comic format surprisingly effectively as it fills in the background of the public face of the Cobra organization... But I'll tell you more about that in another post later today.

That said, this really is a week for collections. Dark Horse has the much-anticipated second volume of Gerard Way and Gabriel Ba's incredible Umbrella Academy (The Umbrella Academy: Dallas). Dynamite offers the obscure but ahead-of-its-time Power & Glory (by American Flagg's Howard Chaykin).

Meanwhile, from the opposite end of the superhero spectrum (which is to say, sound and fury signifying lack of critical approval) comes from Marvel's Ultimatum hardcover. (Marvel also has an accompanying epilogue collection, Ultimatum Requiem, as well as the Golden Age revival book Avengers/Invaders, hitting stores tomorrow).

The week, however, really belongs to DC Comics. DC offers the first collection of the Zuda strip High Moon (Vampires and werewolves in the old west, and if there's any justice, soon to be a major motion picture.) Also, two "deluxe" editions of classic comics are making a comeback with Absolute Promethea Vol. 1 and Fables: The Deluxe Edition Vol. 1. Promethea collects the first year of Alan Moore's post-feminist, post-deconstructionist take on the female superhero archetype, while Fables brings together the first two paperbacks for a suitable introduction to Bill Willingham's addictive updating of fairytales, myths and legends. Both are highly recommended in any format, but it has to be said... they do look great in these new oversized hardcovers.

As usual, the complete list of comics reaching your local comic store can be found here, and said local comic stores can be found here. Even if you're not looking for a massive slab of classic comics, you should take a look, anyway.

From the latest issue of Loeb's current high-profile Marvel series, Ultimatum:
You may be wondering what's going on there, because what you're seeing doesn't make that much sense, so I'll happily confirm: That is X-Men villain The Blob eating former Avenger (or, considering this is the Ultimate universe, "former Ultimate") The Wasp.

Now, last time I checked, The Blob wasn't actually a cannibal... he was just a guy whose superpower was being really, really fat (A superpower that, let's face it, should belong to someone like Tenzil Kem). But then again, this is the self-consciously "extreme" Ultimate Universe version of the character, as well as the somewhat bombastic Jeph Loeb, a man for whom cannibalism is apparently just one of the many traits of a successful supervillain.

I have to admit, seeing this scene brings about two reactions in me. Firstly, sadness for poor Wasp, who has just been killed for the second time in a month (The "regular Marvel Universe" version of the character died at the conclusion of the publisher's big Secret Invasion series), and perhaps most importantly, happiness at the realization that, with Loeb no longer involved with the NBC drama, we're much less likely to see Hayden Panettiere being eaten on network television.

Ultimatum [Marvel.com]

Said Bendis:

[W]hen the Ultimatum wave hits, that wave is hitting Spider-Man's world and Spider-Man's cast and Spider-Man's house. We worked very closely on following Ultimatum's lead, and then finding other cool stuff to do in Ultimate Spider-Man. When Ultimate Spider-Man 129 hits, you'll see the wave hit, and how it affects all the characters... Almost everyone's role will change dramatically. There's gonna be a new supporting cast, there may even be a new Spider-Man.

Hype or the sign of a whole new Clone Saga? We'll see when Ultimate Spider-Man #129 hits stories next month. [MySpace]

Marvel Comics, in its questionable yet infinite wisdom, is obviously pushing an Obama line with the release of the first issue of Adam: Legend Of The Blue Marvel - a series about the one black man that can save the world. They've even got a series about a potential McCain victory: Ultimatum (written by now-former Heroes producer Jeph Loeb) about disasters raining down on the Ultimate version of the Marvel Universe. No such political editorializing in their other big books of the week, which include the first in a series of paperbacks collecting Frank Miller and Klaus Janson's run on Daredevil , the oneshot Iron Man: The End, and the first issue of a series teaming up X-Men/Spider-Man.

Not to be outdone, DC are pulling out their big guns for this week as well - and I'm not talking about Superman/Supergirl: Maelstrom (which is, I promise, about an alien who tries to kill Superman to impress a prospective boyfriend. Admit it; that's kind of awesome), Adventure Comics Special Featuring The Guardian or even the completely enjoyable Superman Vs. Brainiac collection of stories from the last seventy-odd years. No, it's the new/old Sandman: The Dream Hunters (which sees P. Craig Russell adapting Neil Gaiman's prose story from ten years ago into comic strip form) and the paperback collection of the much-much-better-than-it-has-any-right-to-be Teen Titans Year One that both need a place on your shelf. The latter, in particular, is astonishingly beautiful and should be owned for the art alone:



But that's not all! Dark Horse unleashes Gigantic's first issue as well as a sumptuous hardcover collection for Dean Motter's Art Deco-inspired Mister X (Again, worth it just for the art; illustrators include Motter, Jaime Hernandez and Dave McKean, amongst many others), and Image are putting out the first volume of Liquid City, an anthology of stories from South-East Asian comic creators (You can find out more about the latter here; preview pages look promising).

(Of course, it's not all good news; the last chapter of Batman RIP? Delayed from tomorrow until November 19th at the earliest, apparently.)

So, when you get too bored waiting for a new leader of the free world to be announced, why not check out the complete list of this week's new comic releases (and then the Comic Shop Locator Service, to find your closest safe haven)? Go in, buy whatever takes your fancy, safe in the knowledge that the Florida recounts will still be going on by the time you leave.