Each year, Jackson Publick, Doc Hammer, and the rest of the folks behind The Venture Bros. cover a holiday song in the voices of their animated alter egos. The Monarch, Dr. Girlfriend (now Mrs. Dr. The Monarch), and their henchmen are especially festive during the holiday season.

In 2006, supervillain and superscientist supergroup "Venture Aid" covered Band Aid's "Do They Know It's Christmastime?"

In 2007, the Monarchs took on The Pogues' "Fairytale of New York."

And last year, in a tragic move, Henchman 21 prerecorded himself and Henchman 24 singing "Wonderful Christmastime." Sadly, Henchman 24 didn't survive to see Christmas that year.

Check out Quick Stop Entertainment for other Venture Christmas carols, including a cover of David Bowie and Bing Crosby's "Peace On Earth"/"Little Drummer Boy" medley, the Monarch and his loyal henchmen taking on Dolly Parton's "Hard Christmas Candy," and this year's Christmas song — The Monarch covering "The Chipmunk Song" with the help of Henchman 21 and the Moppets.

Holiday Havoc: The Venture Bros. [Quick Stop Entertainment via Metafilter]

In this era of franchises based on pre-existing... well, franchises, really, it should be tough for brand new characters to make any significant impression, but I feel like we've been spoiled for choice in some ways; beyond the five mentioned below, I could've also gone for Y The Last Man's Yorick Brown, Scott Pilgrim's Kim Pine (Because, really, it's all about Kim. Admit it), Fringe's Walter Bishop or Dollhouse's Adelle DeWitt, to name just a few more. I'm not talking about the most important characters of the last ten years, or even the most popular, please understand; this is purely a (selfish and subjective) question of quality, for once. These, however, are my top 5:

Benjamin Linus
Color me one of those people who drifted in and out of Lost throughout the first two seasons of the show... Well, until Ben entered the picture. Michael Emerson's smarmy, knowing performance as "Henry Gale" brought something that the show had needed since the beginning: A Bad Guy. Or, at least, someone who we didn't know much about, but were pretty sure we shouldn't be trusting nonetheless. As we've learned more about the character since then, it's been Emerson's performance that's led the way, convincing us about a control freak who likes to think that he's one step ahead of everyone even though he's lost sight of the bigger picture. In a show filled with great characters - Locke was so close to making my top 5 - Ben stands apart as the best of them all.

Thaddeus S. "Rusty" Venture
Cynical, selfish and entirely delusional when it comes to his importance in the world, The Venture Bros.'s patriarchal figure may be one of the most oddly complex, nuanced character on television these days. On the surface, he's a self-centered coward emotionally scarred from a childhood as a Boy Adventurer who resents his life, his family and pretty much the rest of the world, but the longer the show goes on, the more we see a different Rusty: The father who's grooming Dean in his image - because there's no way that could go wrong - excited about sharing his passion for prog rock and science (and, surprisingly, offering support and advice in times of need), for one thing, or the man who's so pissed off by trouble ruining his plans that he ends up doing heroic deeds just to make his own life easier. Never mind that he's also genius enough to successfully clone his kids for years, replacing them if and when they died... Rusty Venture isn't the kind of man you could rely on, but he certainly makes for entertaining viewing.

Gaius Baltar
And talking of people you can't rely on, Battlestar Galactica's Baltar may have been chosen by God/The Gods/Some Higher Power/Ronald D. Moore to lead humanity towards its new home, along the way discovering a spiritual side, falling in love and growing as a human being, but that wasn't why we loved him so much. No, with Baltar, it was all about the weasel. Whether he was trying to maneuver himself into even greater positions of power, trying to stay alive after surrendering the colonies to the cylons on New Caprica or just trying to seduce whatever character had caught his attentions that week, Baltar was never better than when he was being weak and giving in to his worst impulses. James Callis' performance was one of the best things throughout the entire series, giving us a character that we Loved To Hate To Love, as well as some of the few moments of genuine comedy throughout the entire run. You just know that he'd have given up that whole farming thing within a month of the finale, don't you?

Donna Noble
She didn't fall in love with the Doctor. It's worth repeating: She didn't fall in love with the Doctor. After Rose and Martha, that fact alone made this particular Doctor Who companion feel like a breath of fresh air, but there was so much more to her than that: Her enthusiasm, and heart. Her ability to say the wrong thing in almost any occasion. Her self-confidence, misplacing in many ways, but making her feel like the Doctor's peer and friend instead of someone who believes everything he says and puts him on a pedestal (Catherine Tate deserves all credit for making that charming and irritating at once). Given her (intentionally) annoying first appearance in "The Runaway Bride," it's surprising that Donna turned into the companion I'll miss most from this new run, but it's definitely true; her exit was heartbreaking, entirely fitting and proof that Russell T. Davies loved her too much to kill her off. I'm selfishly hoping she survives "The End Of Time," too.

Kate Kane/Batwoman
Still relatively new, there's something fascinating about DC Comics' latest Batman spin-off. Under writer Greg Rucka's control - and, given her few appearances elsewhere, only under Rucka's control - Kate Kane is at once a reminder of, and refusal of, Bat-cliches. Yes, she was born of family tragedy, but her response wasn't to focus her entire life towards justice, but instead run off the rails in self-destructive behavior. Like Batman, she sees herself as a soldier, but she actually approaches her missions in that mindset, no doubt helped by her father and their shared military background. Most refreshingly, Batwoman is wonderfully fallible - Misunderstanding a prophecy to be about her own death in the recent "Elegy" storyline - and, at times, unlikable. Given her relatively few appearances since her debut in 2006's 52, it's surprising that she comes across as so rounded and real a character, but she does - and we hope her career is as long-lived as her male counterpart.

But enough about our love of Dr. Zachary Smith updates and redheaded women - What're your choices for the character who's made the greatest impression on you after appearing for the first time at some point during the last ten years? The comments are there for a purpose, after all...

Created by Nick Murphy, this is a pitch-perfect blob of weirdness, a slo-mo romance montage featuring the Monarchs frolicking in a sunset field, drinking wine, and contemplating how they are masters of all they survey. The costumes are great, and the final FX scene with their evil lair is just plain cool. After a minute or two of this, you start to think of how poignant the love affair between The Monarch and Dr. Mrs. Monarch really is.

Monday

It's the usual Monday evening decision between Fox's House, wherein the West Wing's Joshua Malina guests as a former patient of Wilson's who's now a little bit too close to dying for everyone's comfort, and NBC's Heroes, which promises an "unexpected destination" for Claire and Peter, who are struggling to come to terms with the truth. Both of them air at 8pm, so feel free to choose House and read our Heroes recap, instead. You know it'll be easier on everyone.

Tuesday

Prophets of Science Fiction on the Science Channel at 9pm is about it, now that V has slunk its way off-screen for a few months (And am I the only person who spent the last episode waiting for a big lizard reveal, only to be thwarted? They even talked about skinning an alien just to tease us, the bastards). But in many ways, this documentary about science fiction creators whose work predicted the future is likely to be less frustrating than ABC's alien drama, even if it may not be more entertaining.

Wednesday

While Mythbusters carries on Kari-less on Discovery at 9pm (Adam and Jamie look into whether you can escape from jail using antacids, while I continue to unfairly criticize newgirl Jessi Combs purely because of my love for the missing Ms. Byron), ABC's Eastwick begins to draw to a conclusion with new episode "Tasers and Mind Erasers."

Thursday

With the CW shows on reruns, your evening viewing is wide open for a helping of Flashforward at 8 pm on ABC and Fringe at 9 on Fox. This week's FF promises to reveal more about Demetri's future death, Zoey's flashforward and, most excitingly, what actually caused the flashforward itself. Meanwhile, Fringe gets out the Lovecraftian influence as "Snakehead" reveals a spooky squidlike creature burrowing into host bodies. Calamari will never be the same again.

Friday

If new episodes of Ghost Whisperer and Medium on CBS (at 8pm and 9, respectively) or Stargate Universe and Sanctuary on Syfy (at 9pm and 10, respectively) don't float your boat — Although, SGU sees Young handing over command of the Destiny to Camille when he's accused of murder aboard the ship, so maybe you should tune into that just in case — then there's only one thing that could take your attention (Well, beside Star Wars: The Clone Wars on Cartoon Network at 9).

And that's the return of Dollhouse, with two new episodes starting on Fox at 8pm. "The Public Eye/The Left Hand" sees Senator Wesley From Angel finally stop talking and start doing something in his so-far-useless campaign against the Dollhouse, while Topher and Adelle meet a programmer with a connection to Echo and - Oh, never mind. All you want to know is this: It's the episode with Summer Glau. See? Now you'll tune in.

Saturday

NBC is showing the best Fantastic Four movie ever made, The Incredibles at 8:30pm. I'm sure most of you already own it on DVD though, right?

Sunday

Sure, Sunday night still belongs to The Venture Bros (a new episode is on Cartoon Network at midnight), but we're still kind of tempted by Syfy's Alice revival, from the people who brought you Tin Man. Bringing the story up to date and adding in various contemporary re-readings of famous scenes, there's always the possibility of things going totally wrong and it turning out to be another Prisoner, but we have hope nonetheless...

So here are the most insane SF soaps we could think of — but I bet we missed some good ones. What are your favorites? Pipe up in comments with the lurid details!

Top image by Dennys Ilic. Additional reporting by Josh C. Snyder.

Heroes

You can pick any character from this show and get a headache trying to figure out all the story twists he or she has gone through. Take Matt Parkman: He's trying to keep his marriage together — No, wait! Now he's living with Mohinder and co-parenting Molly the mutant-detecting girl! — No, wait! Molly is out of the picture! And now Matt is becoming an African-esque shaman! — No, wait! Now Matt is in love with Daphne the speedster, who's the Love Of His Life! — No, wait! Now Matt is back with his wife, and will never think about Daphne again! — No, wait! Etc. etc. etc. My favorite, though, is probably Peter's girlfriend trapped in an alternate dystopian future — whom we will never mention again! Ha ha ha ha urk. (Matt Loves Daphne wallpaper from Fanpop.)

Alias

This show started off pretty coherent — but around the third brainwashing or the tenth revelation that Sidney's mother's cousin was really the spy behind brainwashing Sidney to think her half-sister was a chicken. I defy anybody to explain to me the tangled backstory of the Bristow family.

The Cat Who Walked Through Walls by Robert A. Heinlein:

I made a dreadful mistake: This was the first Heinlein book I ever read — and it may have ruined me for Heinlein forever. In the late Heinlein novels, every character ever shows up, and they mostly have sex together, interspersed with a lot of drama and philosophizing. It's a sequel to The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress as well as Number Of The Beast, and features characters from several other books — including Jubal Harshaw, Lazarus Long and Hazel Stone, and it turns out that all of Heinlein's characters have previously unsuspected connections to each other. As reviewer James W. Harris puts it:

Having all of his "good" guys sound like a convention of smarmy talking wife-swappers is just gross. I hate to sound like a teenage girl, but damn, Heinlein's kissy-kissy talk and innuendo just made me want to puke. And making his classic characters act out in this limp-dick porn flick is just tragic. Having them go on and on about how they were going to kill people for bad manners is just a little psycho to me. Evidently a lot of people and situations annoyed the hell out of Heinlein and he used this book to vent. Some people want to call this satire but I think that's whitewash.

Maybe Heinlein lost his mojo and these multiverse stories were the best he could do. Personally, I thought The Rolling Stones was a perfect novel, and bringing back Hazel Stone was a fictionally fuck-up of an idea, ditto for the cast of The Moon is a Harsh Mistress. Maybe I am a prude because I just don't want the Hazel Stone, grandmother of Castor and Pollux, joking about being stretched out of shape by giant 25 centimeter cock.

All of Heinlein's personally favorite characters get put into a fictional juicer and blended into weird rabble of sex obsessed mob that chirp a weird innuendo patter and are almost impossible to tell apart. When I read these multiverse stories I can't help but believe that horniness was driving Heinlein crazy. These later stories are preoccupied with sex, killing people, responding to annoying people, the reliability of witnesses, rude people deserving capital punishment, and so on.

Venture Bros.:

At least this show is ridiculous on purpose — the ultra-demented story of the Venture clan has gotten more and more involved, with Sergeant Hatred's struggle against his pedophilic past taking center stage, and deformed clones and weird villain love affairs aplenty. Most of all, there are the labyrinthine family elements crossing over into everything, like the revelation that Dean was also the head of the Guild. The same characters and their families end up being connected in ever more improbable and weird ways, making our heads spin.

Battlestar Galactica:

I have four (or possibly five) words for you: "Hotdog is the father." Whaaa? There's also the great way Baltar went from being a slimy scientist to being a slimy politician to being a slimy cult leader — and what happened to the baby that Baltar and Six were going to have together? Oh and while we're on the subject, what about Saul Tigh being crazy-chicken in love with Caprica Six — until she has a miscarriage, and then he never thinks about her again? It all makes you want to grip your television and scream (in a Krazy Starbuck voice) "You're going the wrong way!"

Sonic The Hedgehog (comics):

According to the always great TVTropes website, this comic-book tie-in to the popular video game went whirling off on crazier tangents than a flying hedgehog on crack. To quote TVTropes:

The Archie Comics Sonic The Hedgehog series twisted Sonic's love life into a Gordian Knot: Originally hooked up with Sally Acorn, she got stuck ruling the country and shoved the relationship to the side to focus on her new duties, prompting Sonic to fall in with Mina Mongoose, starting a rivalry between the two women for Sonic's affection. He then started seeing Fiona Fox on the side, which not only pissed off Mina and Sally, but Tails, as well, who had a crush on her due to falling in love with a robotic duplicate created by Robotnik several years earlier (don't ask). Eventually, Mina got her own boyfriend, Sally got Sonic once again, and Tails got tossed into a brick wall by Fiona, who gave them all the finger to have a relationship with Sonic's evil clone from another universe. And that's not even counting the mini-tangle between Antoine, Sally, Bunnie Rabbot, and Antoine's evil clone from the same universe Fiona's new beau comes from.

Got it? Great.

Gundam Wing:

Okay, let's get this straight... Relena Darlian discovers she's really adopted, and her real name is Relena Peacecraft, one of the last survivors of the pacifistic (duh) Peacecraft tribe. And then it turns out that Zechs Marquise is her long lost older brother. Meanwhile, she gets obsessed with Heero, a young whackjob who keeps announcing he's going to kill her, not unlike the "I'm going to rape you" guy in Welcome To The Dollhouse. And that's just scratching the surface of the most confusing, tangly saga of all time, involving endless backstory and weird family crap.

Angel:

I was going to do Charmed, Angel's fellow WB series which had the whole "my ex-husband is a half-demon" thing, but Angel is so much more ridiculous — mostly because of Cordy, who is in love with Groosalugg, until she's in love with Angel instead, but meanwhile she's turned into a half-demon and then she becomes a Higher Power, until she comes back and has sex with Angel's son — who, as someone points out, is practically her stepson since she helped care for him as a baby — and then becomes pregnant and evil — until she gives birth to an evil god. Nothing on parent show Buffy was as incestuous and ridiculous as Cordy's arc on Angel. Oh, actually, wait — Cordelia was pregnant twice on Angel.

Robotech:

Sure, it was supposedly about the giant mechas, but it was really all about the tragic loves and the tormented Rick-Minmei-Lisa love triangle. To quote Wikipedia,

In early 2013, while sitting at an outdoor cafe, [Lisa] contemplates the love triangle between the three of them when she overhears two men talking about how women were "dealt all the aces" when it comes to relationships, to which Lisa says to herself "that's all you know...here's one woman who would trade every ace in the deck for one Rick Hunter.

Sigh. Twoo Love. Here's a great fanvid featuring the music of White Town. Yay!

X-Men (comics):

This, of course, is the most insane soap opera imaginable. At this point, the X-men have had illegitmate babies from the future, secret love affairs, doomed passions and multiple bad transcriptions of all sorts of accents, from Cajun to Scottish. My favorite ridiculous soap-opera twist might be Madrox's night of passion with two female members of X-Factor: Siryn and Monet, resulting in a pregnancy that isn't quite a normal pregnancy. But then there's also the whole insane Rogue/Gambit thing, the Scott/Jean/Wolverine/Emma love doodaddle, and of course Professor X turning out to be secretly in love with Jean Grey. That's just scratching the surface, really. If you want more info, check out the X-Men relationship map — which is probably already out of date!

"Revenge Society" kept up the show's obsession with music; not only do we now know that Yes are to blame for science, but now we learn of the crossover between rock and roll and criminal societies:


Between Hatred's detoxing, the secret of scientist speed suits, Rusty bonding with Dean and the creation of the use of "Batman" as an adjective, the A plot of the Phantom Limb (Okay, Menace) was almost unnecessary to make this one of the best episodes of the series, but with it, we got the end of a long-running plot, Dean living up to his birthright for a couple of seconds, and weirdly enough, some of the best character work of the season. So much of this season has been about the slow dissolution of the tight family units (Brock and the Ventures, the Monarch and 21 and 24, the League of Calamitous Intent) from the previous three seasons and, while it's interesting to watch all of them be taken apart episode by episode, I'm left wondering where it's all going. And, more importantly, when we're going to see Brock again. As great as "Revenge Society" was (Who couldn't love "Oh, look, it's the Thin White Douche"?), a little Samson would've made it perfect. Give us back the best damn bodyguard on television already!

This poll is simple: Which of the TV shows, listed below, do you feel guiltiest for being behind on? Your answer should be one of the shows you've fallen way behind on — but only the one you feel the greatest remorse about. Remember: if that show gets cancelled, it's your fault.

Monday

If you didn't lose most of your Sunday to Syfy's V marathon, don't despair; they're continuing it today, from 8am through 7pm (And then again tomorrow, starting at 8am again). Jane Badler fanatics of the world, unite for one last time before Morena Baccarin takes over. Talking of remakes of beloved shows, AMC have a 15 minute Prisoner Preview at 2:45, teasing the reboot that premieres later this month (It re-runs throughout the week, if you miss it).

Of course, Monday wouldn't be Monday without Heroes; this week is the much-anticipated "Once Upon A Time In Texas" episode that sees Hiro try to save Charlie's life again, even though I thought we'd conclusively proven way back in the first season that he couldn't do that. Oh, Heroes, suddenly that House re-run on Fox at the same time seems that bit more interesting...

Tuesday

Having presumably primed yourself with the end of Syfy's V marathon, you'll be eagerly anticipating the premiere of ABC's brand new, now-with-extra-Scott-Wolf V, for the first of four weeks before a winter break. We reviewed it at Comic-Con and were pleasantly surprised by the "creepy and intriguing" update of the classic show. Here are the first eight minutes or so:

Meanwhile, AMC and FX are showing off their superhero movie chops: AMC has a doublebill of Batman and Batman Returns starting at 8, while FX shows the better-than-the-first-but-that's-not-necessarily-saying-much Fantastic Four: Rise Of The Silver Surfer at the same time.

Wednesday

Get your humpday started properly with AMC showing of the Buffy The Vampire Slayer movie at 9:45 in the morning, and then stick around for Reign of Fire - one of our favorite dragon war movies ever - at 3pm. In fact, when you add in more showings of Batman, Batman Returns and Batman Forever (at 8pm) and Batman Begins (at 10:30), you could pretty much just leave your television tuned to AMC all day.

But if you did that, you'd miss a new episode of Eastwick at 10pm on ABC. Considering I've never seen the show, I'll just quote the summary instead:

After Chad visits her one last time in a dream, a grieving Roxie resolves to fulfill his last wish — if she can figure out what it is. Hounded by Max, her replacement at the Gazette, about her kidnapping ordeal, Joanna grapples with her own lingering questions while dodging his and Kat, startled by a newfound ability, realizes that Bun's old friend Eleanor Rougement may have answers for both of them.

For those looking for documentary-esque thrills, Mythbusters investigate liquid nitrogen myths in a new episode at 9pm on the Discovery Channel, and, after rocking a marathon of Destination Truth from 8am through 3pm (There's also a new episode on at 9), Syfy celebrates the power of brand loyalty by bringing in Warehouse 13's Eddie McClintock to help track down the "Ghost Of Buffalo Bill" on a brand new episode of Ghost Hunters at 8pm.

Thursday

As if the V marathons earlier in the week weren't enough, Syfy has a Threshold marathon starting at 8am and running until 3 in the afternoon. Remember Threshold?

Because it's Thursday, it's time to give your TiVos a workout. At 8pm, you can choose between a new episode of FlashForward on ABC -

Mark, Demetri, Gough and MI6 agent Fiona Banks investigate a Blue Hand club and its possible connection to some recent suicides. Meanwhile, Aaron receives a surprise visit from a former army buddy of his late daughter's, Demetri comes clean with Zoey about his lack of a flashforward, and Nicole helps Bryce uncover the mystery of his flashforward while volunteering at the hospital.

- or a new Vampire Diaries on the CW:

On his birthday, Stefan is surprised by a visit from Lexi, one of his oldest friends. Still upset by the events at the Halloween haunted house, Elena does her best to stay away from Stefan, but Lexi gives her some unsolicited relationship advice. Elena and Jenna are surprised by a change in Jeremy's behavior. At Damon's insistence, Caroline tries to get his medallion back from Bonnie. Finally, Damon's offer to help Sheriff Forbes has sudden and tragic results.

Similarly, 9pm brings a choice between Fringe on Fox -

The Fringe Division takes on a puzzling investigation where victims are inexplicably disintegrating into ash. The shadowy case casts light on Special Agent Phillip Broyles' past and leads the team to the possibility of foreign Fringe Science. Emotions run high as the alarming events stack up and revealing personal details emerge about the leader of the Fringe Division.

- and what looks like a very fun episode of Supernatural on the CW:

The Trickster throws Sam and Dean into an alternate universe where they are characters in different television series, including a sexy medical show, a Japanese game show, a forensics show and a sitcom. The brothers realize the only way to get out of this world is to play along and become the characters in the shows. However, Castiel appears and warns them this universe is dangerous and they must get out before they become trapped.

(My suggestion: Watch FlashForward and Fringe live, TiVo Supernatural and try to pretend Vampire Diaries doesn't exist. Sorry, Kevin Williamson.)

Friday

Today's Syfy marathon? The third season of Doctor Who. Again, it starts at 8am: Set your TiVo to relive the awesomeness that is Martha Jones. Otherwise, you'll be left with nothing to watch until Smallville on the CW at 8 (Jor-El meets Chloe, Clark realizes that a younger version of his dad is on Earth and Zod keeps disappointing in the villain stakes).

That's followed by the Syfy double bill of Stargate Universe at 9 (Wherein Richard Dean Anderson guests with a crazy plan about how to bring the accidental crew of the Destiny home. Spoiler: It's only the sixth episode: It's not going to work), and Sanctuary at 10 (Magnus wakes up with no idea where she is, or why everything around her has been destroyed. I know how she feels).

If you're feeling like you're missing old friends, though, you could always tune in to White Collar on USA at 9, which counts Fringe's dear departed Charlie and The Middleman's Natalie Morales amongst its cast this week. Plus, of course, Matt Bomer, whom everyone keeps telling me is the new David Tennant in dreaminess quotant.

Saturday

Syfy seems to have forgotten that Halloween was the week before, with three horror movies: Open Graves (starring a pre-Dollhouse Eliza Dushku), in which American students abroad find a deadly boardgame, the remake of The Amityville Horror, and From Within, which apparently has something to do with a Christian questioning her faith when people around her get gruesomely slaughtered.

Thankfully, the movie that follows those three, Snakehead Terror features both snake-headed mutant pirhanas and Bruce Boxeleitner, so things seem to getting back to normal in the end. (Open Graves starts at 4, and each following movie comes two hours later).

Sunday

Worried about the truth behind Roland Emmerich's new destructo movie? Then don't watch 2012: Startling New Secrets on Syfy, which sounds as if it treads the fine line between Destination Truth-esque knowing parody and tacky sensationalism. Which, come to think of it, sounds pretty like the 2012 movie itself, actually... Instead, finish off your weekend with "Return To Malice," the latest, and no doubt entirely awesome, episode of The Venture Bros. on Cartoon Network at midnight. Let's face it: Brock would be disappointed if you didn't.

But on the off chance that the Doctor can't stop River, here's the clash many of you have been clamoring for:

And if River beats Brock Samson from the Venture Bros. as well? How about this:

That's right, the kid from the Twilight Zone. He'll send her to the Cornfield! What's she going to do about that?

If River wins all of these contests of badassery, she'll go on to face Batman, the Dark Knight, Gotham's watchful avenger tomorrow.

If any one of River's challengers beats her, than he'll face Batman tomorrow. If two of River's challengers win, then they'll have to face each other before going on to Batman. And if all three challengers win? We'll worry about that when it happens.

River Tam faces a threefold challenge — will she still be swinging tomorrow? You decide!

That's right — it's just like wife swappers, except it's writer swappers! So put the keys to the writers' room in a bowl, and let's get swinging...

Lost and Supernatural

In some ways these shows are opposites, even though they have so much in common — they both have long, pull-your-hair-out plots and complex characters who stray to the dark side regularly.

But Supernatural keeps it lean and mean — you pretty much just have the Winchester brothers, and one to four supporting castmembers at any given time. And Supernatural's big mysteries are relatively few, and relatively straightforward: What did the yellow-eyed demon want with baby Sam? What does Ruby want with grown-up Sam? Why did the angels pull Dean out of Hell? And we get answers to those questions on a regular basis. What's complex on Supernatural is the tangled theology of the Angel/Demon war. And few relationships on television are as barbed and complex as the troubled love between the two brothers.

Lost, meanwhile, thrives on complexity — there are easily two dozen characters you're supposed to be keeping track of at any given moment, and oftentimes, they all seem to be equally important. The show's creators have already told viewers not to expect answers to all the show's mysteries — You have to piece things together on your own, or just accept that some things are not knowable. Meanwhile, the show gives us characters whose family relationships are mostly dismal (except Hurley's, oddly) and whose relationships with each other are frequently defined somewhat straightforwardly by rivalry, love triangles, or unrequited love.

So we'd love to see the writers change places for a bit — the Supernatural writers could bring a bit of immediacy to Lost's slow-boiling storylines, and also show us a bit more of how all these people stuck on an island together have become each other's family, and have grown to love each other even as they piss each other off.

And the Lost writers could give us a world of spirits and monsters that's foggier, and weirder, than Supernatural has ever quite given us. Imagine Supernatural with more weird clues, and more of a sense that there's a massive chess game going on in which the Winchester brothers are just pawns. It could be quite a ride.

Dollhouse and Torchwood

These two shows both unkinked our brains, in different ways, last month. We finally got to see Dollhouse's unaired season finale, in which some brilliant new adaptations to the Dollhouse's business model end up destroying civilizaton itself. And Torchwood served up the shocking, twisted "Children Of Earth" miniseries, in which we find out just how valuable our children really are — and just how dark Captain Jack is prepared to get.

These shows both operate in murky waters, with heroes who have huge dark sides and make difficult (and frequently wrong) choices. They're the dark side of escapism, showing how becoming part of a secret world of amazing tech and cool fantasies can be dreadful as well as wonderful. But Dollhouse is a good deal nastier than Torchwood, giving us a for-profit venture that is bent on making people's dreams come true — but only at the expense of its "employees"' personhood. Torchwood, meanwhile, is about people who actually do try to save the world — but often as not, they make things worse.

So what would happen if Russell T. Davies and his gang started writing Dollhouse, and Joss and friends moved to Cardiff?

Well, for starters, Dollhouse would get a lot sexier. The relationship between Boyd and Whiskey/Claire Saunders would probably heat up quite a bit. (And the already-homoerotic tension between ex-cop Boyd Langton and ex-FBI agent Paul Ballard would become way more intense.) But more than that, the assignments would get a lot freakier — Just imagine what sort of missions Russell T. Davies' gnarled, twisted brain would come up with for the mindwiped "dolls" who can be anyone or anything. And if you think the Dollhouse is morally grey and disturbing now, wait until RTD wrote a few scripts. And what could RTD would do with Adelle DeWitt, the sly, wicked, frosty madam of the Dollhouse's empty-headed bordello?

As for Torchwood — sure, "Children Of Earth" was one of the best pieces of television we've seen in recent years. But just imagine Torchwood done in the style of Angel or Buffy, with more weird humor, more out-and-out struggle against the forces of evil, and more identity crisis for our heroes. Torchwood could use some more memorable villains, like the Mayor of Sunnydale or Glory. And Captain Jack needs to have a few episodes of spouting Whedonesque dialogue as he sluts around Cardiff and hits on every adult sentient being he meets. And even though Torchwood took a major leap into darkness this last time around, the show could always go darker and dirtier — especially now that the Hub and the team have both been wrecked. We can just see the story of Torchwood crawling out of the ashes and trying to figure out their role now, as told by Joss Whedon and co.? Where do they go from here?

House and Fringe

Two shows about unconventional teams who deal with weird science stuff — even as the most brilliant, curmudgeonly member of the team skirts the edge of insanity. Can't you just imagine J.J. Abrams and the rest of the Fringe team getting their claws into House's drug-addled, dysfunctional life, while the House gang goes full-throttle on Walter and the Fringe Division?

Of course, House has been on the air longer and has had more time to delve into the neuroses and relationships of its main characters. But also, one major difference between the shows is that House has romance and sexual intrigue — there's Foreteen, of course, plus the ongoing will-they, won't-they with House and Cuddy.

What the Fringe writers could bring to House: more weird science, and less weird psychology — in the most recent season, we've spent more more time figuring out the mysteries of House's mind than we have tackling medical mysteries, like weird parasites or insect-bites in unlikely spots that cause mysterious paralysis. Sure, House has been on for longer and we've been delving into the character more deeply, but the Fringe writers could pump up the show's weirdness levels satisfyingly.

Meanwhile, Fringe could use the opposite — we could use a lot more speculation about the psychology of its characters. Sure, we get hints about the weird experiments that characters like Olivia underwent as kids. But that's not psychology, it's plot development. Fringe could stand to delve a bit more into what makes its characters tick.

And think about it — this is the right time for the two shows to swap writing staffs, too — House is going into a mental institution (where we first met Walter Bishop) and Walter is going to become a lot more independent and autonomous, letting him become more like House.

True Blood and Heroes

What would happen if these two soap operas traded off writing staffs? Bringing Alan Ball and his gang to the perennially conflicted mutants might do them the world of good — and maybe Heroes' writers would get their groove back if they got to write for Lafayette, Eric and the rest.

It's weird to think that both Heroes and True Blood are soap operas, but they kind of are — the main difference is, True Blood is a lot stickier (both in the sense that people obsess a lot more about True Blood's characters, and in the sense that there are weird fluids everywhere), while Heroes often has much higher stakes and more of a comic-book, action-adventure feel.

So it's easy to think of ways that the True Blood team could revitalize Heroes. As Lauren points out, "Sylar would actually eat brains." The weird murder-flirtation between Sylar and Claire would get a lot deeper, and all of the show's relationships would suddenly be much more gothic and byzantine.

The dark, secret world of the Company, with its endless family drama going back decades, would gain a whole new layer of murkiness and detail, much like all the stuff we're learning about vampire society on True Blood. We'd get a lot more fun, quirky world-building moments on Heroes. And can you picture Alan Ball writing HRG, the tormented-but-suave-but-dorky family man? He would suddenly have a lot more layers. And he'd be naked.

But the much-maligned Heroes team could also bring some fun to True Blood. One of the things Heroes does really well is come up with out-of-left-field superpowers and then imagine how they would really work, and how they'd affect your life, in reality. If the Heroes writers ran True Blood, Jason would probably get powers similar to Sookies — except, of course, he would see the future. You might see a bit more of how the strange mixture of powers in Bon Temps actually messes with people's lives. Plus maybe the Heroes writers could cut loose and write the kind of beyond-dysfunctional, messed-up characters that they don't get to create that often. And it would be fascinating to see Heroes deal with the added theme of religion that crops up a lot in True Blood.

Breaking Bad and Eureka

These are both shows about science, and about the quirky people who make a living off science. In AMC's critically acclaimed Breaking Bad, we follow Walter White, a high school chemistry teacher who's got a pregnant wife and a son with cerebral palsy, and then he finds out he's got terminal lung cancer. His insurance won't pay for the treatments, so he decides to start making and selling methamphetamine to secure his family's future. Meanwhile, in Eureka, there's a whole town full of science geniuses who create oddball projects for fun and profit, with often disastrous (but never horrifying) results.

So they're both about people using science to get ahead, but Breaking Bad is about the dark, nasty side of science, while Eureka is happy and easy-going. Everybody's rich, or at least comfortable, in Eureka, while Walter White is barely getting by and needs to resort to drug-dealing to save his family from ruin. (Walter's drug-dealer name is "Heisenberg," and he uses mercury fulminate, an explosive, as a weapon. He also uses his chemistry-teacher knowledge to quadruple his meth production.)

So what would the writers of Eureka bring to Breaking Bad? Probably a lot more science shout-outs. In addition to using Heisenberg as his drug-dealer name, Walt would probably start finding himself experiencing things that are right out of classic science fiction movies. And the science would get a lot odder, with Walt possibly coming up with wild new additives to lace his meth with — meth that makes you start aging backwards? Maybe Walt would come up with some zanier ways of dealing with the drug lords he runs up against, like catching them in zero-gravity fields or something?

As for Eureka, the Breaking Bad writers might delve a little bit more into the underside of the little town of geniuses. Exactly how does their relationship with the Defense Dept. work? And what happens when some of their more potent inventions really do fall into drastically wrong hands?

Star Wars: The Clone Wars and Venture Bros.

These are two of the most vivid and fascinating animated shows on TV right now — so what would happen if you turned the Lucasfilm writers loose on the Venture Bros., and let the Venture staff have a crack at the Clone Wars?

The main difference between these shows, says Graeme, is that the Venture Bros. writers are deeply bitter whereas the Clone Wars' writers are, at their heart, very sincere.

So maybe if the Venture Bros. writers got to take a turn writing the Clone Wars, you'd immediately have more weird pop-culture humor. But you'd also get more investigation into the bitterness that's just under the surface of the Star Wars universe — the fact that Anakin is a jerk who's destined to become the scourge of the galaxy. Plus the fact that the clone army is made up of helpless slaves. All of the characters in Clone Wars would become a lot more neurotic, and the clones would become like the Venture Bros.' henchmen. Inevitably, the show would start pointing to more of the darkness in its premise, but also poking fun at it — and it might become like a better written version of Robot Chicken Star Wars along the way. Plus, it would be fantastic to see what the Venture Bros. scribes would do with Anakin.

Meanwhile, if the Clone Wars staff came over to Venture Bros., that show would become much more of a straightforward action-adventure show — it might become a bit like Johnny Quest, even. But we'd also suddenly see a lot more weird politics, and the show would start showing us different factions scheming and intriguing against each other. There might be less resolution in each episode — which is saying something, considering how little resolution Venture Bros. already gives us. And a revamped Venture Bros. would start giving us morals at the end of each episode, like "Remember, Brock, Sometimes violence ISN'T the answer."

Additional reporting by Graeme McMillan, Lauren Davis, Meredith Woerner and Annalee Newitz.

We open, quite appropriately, with the tanks that once contained Hank and Dean's clones, emptied at the end of last season. They don't look quite empty. Is Dr. Venture growing new clones, or is there a new project running? And who'd this new bodyguard.
Now we're back to the season finale, with the Monarch's henchman running around the Venture Compound lawn, with the slaughtered Hank and Dean clones at their feet.
Rusty runs through the Venture Compound while pursued by a violet light, possibly from a certain flying cocoon?
Well, something is going down with those cloning tanks. Sadly, we still don't get a very clear picture of what's inside of them.
And there are Nazis in the cloning room. Are we having a Boys from Brazil moment? Are they looking to clone Hitler? Or Girl Hitler?
Oh, and Rusty's there, too. Hi, Rusty!
Oof. Whatever the Nazis are up to, it doesn't seem to end well for them. Or maybe it turns them into supermen in a glowy, painful way.
It looks like Rusty wastes no time replacing H.E.L.P.eR. An Astro Boy send-up kills a snake in Brock's old room.
The Sovereign of the Guild of Calamitous Attempt makes a return...
...and yes, he's still David Bowie.
An aged Phantom Limb (with his hands now clearly visible) plays the tuba. (Edit: Several commenters note that this is probably one of Phantom Limb's Fantomas ancestors, which makes much more sense given the presence of Buddy Holly. Good call, folks.)
And he appears to be trying to jam with Buddy Holly and the Big Bopper.
21 still lives with his mom. It's nice to know some things don't change.
And we take a moment while Pete White and Master Billy Quizboy dance and mix drinks. But what are those things around their necks? Evidence of spinal cord injuries, or mind control collars?
Evidently, Jackson Publick and Doc Hammer are channeling Avatar. I wonder if this could be anything other than a dream sequence, but in Venture Bros., anything is possible.
Finally, we see Brock, but what happened to his beautiful mullet?
Time has not been kind to hunchback Dean, but he still keeps around mementos of his prettier youth.
Seriously, who gave Hank a gun? I do dig the hair, though.
It looks like another showdown on the Venture lawn. Are those blotches of orange butterfly wings?
Rusty plummets from the top of the Venture compound, possibly in the same episode as image #3.
A somewhat udder-looking gun from the Cocoon. I wonder, do the different canons fire different materials?
What unholy slash fic did this come out of? Also, Billy looks kind of hungover.
General speculation is that this is Captain Sunshine, finally getting revenge on the Monarch for the death of Wonder Boy.
And there goes the Monarch screen.
Dean starts going off about how he loves Hitler. Commenter m-d suggests that he's talking about Girl Hitler, and I suspect he's right. Perhaps this is related to the Nazis in the cloning lab? Also, is that Sergeant Hatred? What is that on his face?
Hank is not only growing his hair to look like Brock's (or at least like Brock's used to), he's spending some questionable time with Dermott Fictel, who might be Brock's son.
Rusty meets 21's LARP crew. He seems less concerned about what 21 is doing there in the first place than all the graffiti on the X-1, making me wonder if he's Rusty's new bodyguard.
It looks like Sergeant Hatred is still hanging around the Ventures. Is he locked in that room to protect Hank and Dean from his urges?
This may take place after Captain Sunshine's attack, as the Monarch screen is now resting on a makeshift stand. Also, the casual way Rusty asks Dr. Mrs. Monarch for 21 suggests that whatever 21 is doing with Rusty, it's no secret from his employers.
The Monarch asks 21 to kill the cab driver downstairs. Funny, the Monarch used to just kill cab drivers himself.
Also, grief has not treated 21 kindly.
Dean really had no chance when Rusty put him in that first speedsuit. Now he's going to be wearing those things for the rest of his life. And Rusty seems be telling Dean about arch-nemeses like he's explaining the Facts of Life. At least he seems to be paying attention to one of his kids.
Commenter tnmnsquare wondered if this was a Spider Jerusalem reference, but I think the bald head just makes it look that way. Those are ordinary 3D glasses — from the future.
I have no words for what is going on here.
Really, none.
Dean's body withers into dust, and we're out. Can't wait for November.

Syndrome (The Incredibles)

You, sir, truly are Mr. Incredible! You know, I was right to idolize you. I always knew you were tough, but tricking the probe by hiding under the bones of another super?! Oh, man! I'm still geeking out about it!

Fannish Traits: Fashioning himself as Mr. Incredible's sidekick Incredi-Boy for one, but even the business of making the ultimate superhero-killing machine and luring Mr. Incredible to his island lair to fight it was fannish in its own warped way.
What Drove Him to Evil: A demoralizing rejection at the hands of Mr. Incredible left him with a inferiority complex and bitter grudge against the superpowered community.

Henchman #21 (The Venture Bros.)

Dude I can't believe we didn't get blown up. We're like those guys on TV who never get shot. Yeah we're like main characters.

Fannish Traits: He keeps a closet full of collectible weapons, has a side job with the Atomic Comic Collection Connection, and debates whether the Smurfs are mammals. Fortunately, #21 lives in a comic book world, and his genre savvy is one of the things that keeps him alive.
What Drove Him to Evil: #21 was actually kidnapped and pressed into the Monarch's service at age 15, but he keeps up his henching because he finds it kind of awesome.

The Trio (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

Warren: What the hell is that?
Andrew: Death Star, dude! Wicked, huh?
Jonathan: Uh, thermal exhaust port's above the main port, numbnuts.
Andrew: For your information, I'm using the Empire's revised design from Return of the Jedi.
Jonathan: That's a flawed design!

Fannish Traits: In addition the van with the Death Star mural, dialogue amongst the Trio (Andrew and Jonathan in particular) is a constant stream of science fiction and comic book references (notably, Jonathan claims fluency in Klingon). And their attempts at bank robbery and Slayer killing are pretty much straight out of the supervillain handbook.
What Drove Them to Evil: Repeated social, scientific, and mystical missteps, which required the Scooby Gang's constant meddling. That, and they hoped it would get them girls.

Superboy-Prime (DC Comics)

On my Earth, I read all about you, Polar Boy. You were a substitute Legionnaire who was let into the clubhouse because people felt sorry for you. Y'know, I almost feel sorry for you. Almost.

Fannish Traits: Raised in our universe reading comic books (and named after Clark Kent), Superboy-Prime is so distraught with the current direction of the DC Universe, that he tries to retcon the universe so it resembles the DC comics of his childhood.
What Drove Him to Evil: Pretty much the entire DC writing staff.

Control Freak (Teen Titans)

All these would've worked on the real Titans. It's just, your powers are... stupid! I don't wanna fight you anymore.

Fannish Traits: It's no surprise that, with his obsession with science fiction and television, Control Freak becomes an accidental fan of the Titans themselves. He's genuinely miffed when he has to face off against the Titans East instead of the main Teen Titans, and he's pissed when he realizes he's not on the list of their most notorious villains — after all, he's a recurring character.
What Drives Him to Evil: Mostly, because villains look cool.

Joe Jackson Stevens (Powers)

Every time they report about her, they ruin her. Every time they say her name, they chip away at her soul. The Indians say that a photograph steals your soul. Imagine if they are right. The world has no rights to her soul. If only I could get her attention.

Fannish Traits: Despite an avowed hatred of capes, Stevens has a profound obsession with Retro Girl, as evidenced by his diary entries and some rather sticky photos found in his apartment.
What Drove Him to Evil: Stevens is just plain unbalanced. He goes Mark David Chapman on Retro Girl because he wants to preserve her unblemished memory for the masses.

Red Mist (Kick-Ass)

Seriously. This whole superhero thing's been bubbling away for years, but you were the first to get out there and have the balls to do it, man. I'm your biggest fan. This is like meeting Elvis or something.

Fannish Traits: Mist claims to be such a huge fan of Kick-Ass (and superhero comics), that he follows Kick-Ass's lead and dons a ridiculous red suit to fight crime.
What Drove Him to Evil: It's not clear that Red Mist was ever on Kick-Ass's side, but whatever the case, he was probably getting paid good money to turn on his fellow vigilante.

Tim the Fanboy (Fans!)

These guys are the president and vice-president of a very cool club! They've fought a vampire, a mind-control conspiracy, and an ancient god! Share in the coolness! Join now!

Fannish Traits: Whereas most members of Bilberg University's Science Fiction Club are fans of science fiction, Tim is a devotee of the Club itself, turning down a spot at Harvard so he could worship at their feet. That, and he dresses like Harry Potter.
What Drove Him to Evil: Tim tends to become utterly devoted to a cause, only to turn on it completely when it lets him down in the slightest. When the Science Fiction Club is overwhelmed by the time traveling warlord General Maximillianna, Tim decides that she must be the superior moral force, and quickly joins her forces.

Ray Thompson (Justice League "Legends")

"Holy hijacking, Catman!"

Fannish Traits: Ray is so nostalgic for the superheroes of his childhood, that after they perished in a nuclear holocaust, he psychically resurrects them so they can continue their adventures.
What Drove Him to Evil: The sole survivor of the nuclear holocaust, Ray just wants to recreate the world of his idealized childhood. But when his illusion is shattered, he goes on a rampage that threatens to destroy reality.

The Mad Hatter (Batman)

As the great Lewis Carroll said: "One, two, one, two, and through and through the vorpal blade went snicker-snack! He left it dead, and with its head, he went galumphing back!"

Fannish Traits: Jarvis Tetch is so obsessed with Lewis Carroll's Alice books that he dresses as the Mad Hatter, only eats hat-themed food, and constantly quotes Carroll.
What Drove Him to Evil: Psychosis. The Hatter has trouble distinguishing between Wonderland and reality, and has developed a frightening obsession with girls named Alice.

Mock Turtle (Astro City)

There was Narnia, with Caer Paravel. And Alice's Wonderland. And more. And children could find them, children like me. If I could find the right wardrobe, go through the right looking glass —

Fannish Traits: Like the Batman villain above, Martin Chefwick was obsessed with fantasy realms, including Wonderland, Narnia, and Oz. And, while he didn't mistake the real world for Wonderland, as a child he often went off in search of a gateway to a fantastical realm all his own.
What Drove Him to Evil: He wanted to impress a girl.

Stewie Griffin (Family Guy "Not All Dogs Go to Heaven")

No way, I'm getting Patrick Stewart to sign it. Picard has it all over Kirk. He's poised and measured and doesn't wear a cheap rug. Rather, he accepts even baldness with a quiet cool that says, "I am in command. You are safe with me. I will cradle you in my arms through any crisis in any galaxy."

Fannish Traits: From our list of convention disasters, Stewie built a working transporter for the sole purpose of kidnapping the entire cast of Star Trek: The Next Generation.
What Drove Him to Evil: Stewie has always been evil, but in this case, he was simply annoyed he didn't get to ask his question at the convention.

Melllvar (Futurama "Where No Fan Has Gone Before")

Fry: Melllvar's got a spaceship.
Melllvar: Yes, in mint condition... and you made me take it out of the package!

Fannish Traits: Another from our convention disasters list, Melllvar creates a paradise for the cast of the original Star Trek so he can hold his own private convention. Then he makes them battle the Planet Express crew to the death for his fanboy affection.
What Drove Him to Evil: Non-corporeal beings only seem evil until you learn that they're harmless 34 year-olds still living in their parents' basements.

Ben Meyers (Smallville "Action")

I'm sorry, Lana. But there's a hero living among us, and there's only one way he'll accept his calling. You need to die.

Fannish Traits: A fan of the Warrior Angel comic books, Meyers is upset when he learns that the hero's love interest won't die in the film adaptation like she does in the book. To maintain the purity of the movie, Meyers decides to simply kill off the actress playing the love interest himself. And, when he discovers Clark's unusual abilities, he believes Lana must endure the same fate.
What Drove Him to Evil: Hollywood's obsession with happy endings.

Mysterious Fan Boy (X-Statix)

If we're really being honest here, and I hope we are, I'd started to love the new X-Force, even though their high mortality rate did unsettle my bowels. And now they go and change the whole thing. If that was all they'd done I might be able to forgive them. But they have done the unforgivable. They've killed the best of them. I mean, how do those people expect us fans to react?

Fannish Traits: Arnie Lundberg wears his fandom proudly. He is such a huge fan of X-Force in general and U-Go Girl in particular that when his favorite team member gets killed off, he takes an entire town hostage, controlling and disfiguring its citizens, a la the Twilight Zone episode "It's a Good Life."
What Drove Him to Evil: A combination of childhood taunting, relative omnipotence, and U-Go Girl's death. But it all works out for him since he joins the newly renamed X-Statix team so they can keep an eye on him.

Comic Book Guy (The Simpsons)

Lucite...hardening. Must end life...in classic...Lorne Greene pose...from...Battlestar Galactica. Best...death...ever!

Fannish Traits: There's very little in the Comic Book Guy's life that doesn't center around fandom. And, in the Treehouse of Horror episode "Desperately Xeeking Xena," he becomes a villain known as "The Collector," who steals his favorite celebrities and places them in PET bags for safe keeping.
What Drove Him to Evil: The desire to preserve his favorite actors in mint condition.

The Catgirl Menace (Something Positive)

I'm tired of you comic creators thinking just because you make something you own it! You don't! It's ours the minute we read it! And the fans know better than you do what's right, otherwise we'd be making comics, not reading them!

Fannish Traits: Not precisely scifi, but too powerful to be ignored, the Catgirls walk around in adorable cat ears and will read anything with the word "Neko" in the title.
What Drove Them to Evil: Someone dissed their obsession du jour, Neko Neko Holy-Chan. Fortunately, they lost interest when they realized the comic creators were changing the comic in a way that disagreed with their fan fiction and shattered their little yaoi fantasies. Some creators just like their straw fans to smack you in the face.

Even for those who don't appreciate Brave and Bold's clear and colorful visuals - It's the best looking cartoon since Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends, if you ask me - the series' blend of kid-friendly simple plots and action with more adult-orientated jokes and just plain weirdness was out in full force in last night's "Night Of The Huntress." On the one hand, the story was simply Batman teaming up with the Huntress and Blue Beetle to capture villains after a jailbreak, and then capturing them, but the real joy was in the details: Mrs. Manface, a beautiful woman with the face of a permanently be-stubbled man (Surely a nod to Venture Bros' Dr. Girlfriend)? Polecat Perkins, a supervillain whose power seems to be incredibly bad body odor? The Batmobile transforming into a giant robot, just so Batman can slug it out with a guy in a giant robot suit? These are signs that writer Adam Beechen was happily letting his sense of the ridiculous run amok, and it made for the most enjoyable 30 minutes of television you could find last night.

Anyone looking to Brave and Bold for something close to the famous 1990s Bruce Timm version of Batman - or even the lesser, but still enjoyable, Justice League/Justice League Unlimited shows - won't find what they're looking for with this show; it's much more comedy than drama, and also skewing at a younger (at heart, at least) audience. But that gives it the freedom to throw credibility out of the window in favor of giving you what you want to see, and it's all the better for doing so. Batman: The Brave And The Bold takes a fresh look at its characters and ignores the continuity and fan-worship that's been built up around them for years by an aging readership, and comes up with something that, ironically, demonstrates their appeal more ably than any of their comics have managed in years. Last night's episode was a great example, and a sign of twelve more weeks of awesome to come.

DM Productions have just announced plans to adapt Danny King's upcoming novel The Henchmen's Book Club for the big screen. The book centers around, unsurprisingly enough, a book club populated by off-duty supervillain henchmen seeking to better themselves through literature and gain some new friends while doing so. We admit it, we're skeptical; the premise sounds fun, but we've seen the "henchmen are people too" thing before in The Venture Bros and Adam Beechen's awesome graphic novel Hench.

Nothing about production date, director or stars has been announced yet.

Flickr image by Tofu Guns.

Matalon acquires 'Henchmen' [Variety]

At last night's The Venture Bros. panel, creators Doc Hammer and Jackson Publick fielded questions from fans, most of whom were distraught over the decapitation of Monarch henchman #24 in last season's finale. Doc Hammer told fans to move on:

24 is dead. Get over it. We had an argument about it, then it was over.

When one fan questioned whether H.E.L.P.eR., Dr. Venture's robot, who also met with disaster last season, could be put back together, Hammer confirmed that H.E.L.P.eR. is also on the permanent casualty list:

H.E.L.P.eR. is dead. [Pauses for distressed noises] Don't act like you guys like H.E.L.P.eR.

H.E.L.P.eR. may go unmissed, at least by Dr. Venture, but Hammer promises that #21, #24's fellow henchman and near-constant companion, will be profoundly affected by his compatriot's demise:

21 lives for that poor guy. His life is altered dramatically.

Next season we'll get to see how 21 copes with no longer being one half of a duo ("These two are only funny together," Hammer notes). The target of his grief could be Dr. Girlfriend's Murderous Moppets, who, Hammer hinted, could be the next victims in the creators' killing spree. Hammer confessed that he and Publick often forget to write the Moppets into episodes, and have contemplated offing the pair to resolve their Moppet problem. But fan hatred of the pair might just save them:

But now that I find out they're universally hated, I kind of want to keep them around. It's like Erika Kane on All My Children.

[YouTube]