volcano - io9

posts about #volcano more →
Disaster Movie Moments That Pissed Us Off The Most
When Underwater Volcanoes Erupt
How Volcanoes can Stop Global Warming
Biggest Crater in the Solar System Found on Mars
When Volcanoes Spew Lightning
We Can Stop Global Warming — And Cook Ourselves Alive
Exploring the Sulfur Dioxide Volcanoes of Venus
Kilauea Volcano Restarts Its Fires, Spews Strange New Ash
Jupiter's Explosive Moon Io Built Its Atmosphere Out of Frozen Volcano Gas

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Meirelle
11/13/09

In reply to Disaster Movie Moments That Pissed Us Off The Most
What about the entire ending of "Knowing"? The world is destroyed by a giant solar flare and you pick two kids to save and live on another planet-- two kids who know nothing about survival. Nice one, stupid aliens. #twister
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CoffinDodger (If the typos crap. Blame my keyboard)
11/13/09

In reply to Disaster Movie Moments That Pissed Us Off The Most
Daylight!!

Breaking Point: Stallone opens his gob. 'I AM THE RESCUE'!!! Great! #twister
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korybing
11/13/09

In reply to Disaster Movie Moments That Pissed Us Off The Most
The moment I read the title of this article I immediately thought of "Ahh they outran the COLD in Day After Tomorrow", so I was glad to see that on the list. I didn't even watch the whole movie, I just caught the end part where they were running from poorly CG'd wolves and the COLD. Ahh.

There was a movie that I can't remember the name of where the characters have to swim through an underwater tunnel for awhile. When they emerge it is pitch dark, so they light a match to see. They light a match. They're completely submerged in water. #twister
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Josh Thibodeau
11/16/09

@korybing: there are such things as waterproof matches #twister
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korybing promoted this comment Josh Thibodeau was starred Josh Thibodeau was unstarred

korybing
11/16/09

@Josh Thibodeau: Well if that's what they were using they didn't do a very good job of explaining that these were special matches that you don't see all the time, which is exactly what they looked like to my untrained eye. #twister
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capnrob
11/13/09

In reply to Disaster Movie Moments That Pissed Us Off The Most
As a long-standing admirer of crap media - yes, I saw _Manos: The Hands of Fate_ *without* robots at the bottom of the screen - I have to defend _The Core_ a bit. Yes, it's silly, but it's intentionally silly. It pokes fun at itself enough that I can't blame it for being ludicrous, and, at the very least, the screenwriters *knew* that the whole idea was thoroughly stupid.

Unlike, say, _Volcano_, which *is* thoroughly stupid, but seems utterly convinced that it's Serious Drama, or something. I showed it to some people I know in paleo, one of whom has worked at the Tar Pits, one of whom went to UCLA, all of whom took one look at the events happening on screen and almost instantly started writhing in pain, from the instant the heat started coming up from below. You don't know what agony is, apparently, until you put a movie about a shield volcano coming up through "Geology Via Frappe Setting On The Blender" California.

Interestingly, I was in the room when a couple of the same people saw some of _Dante's Peak_, and the worst thing they said about it - and these people are, basically, professional sedimentary geologists, not vulcanologists, so take this for what it is - was that it was pretty much a volcanic "Greatest Hits", and you wouldn't expect to get such clear-cut and perfectly distinct events from an eruption. So, not so bad. #twister
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capnrob
11/13/09

@capnrob: Oh, and as long as I'm posting here, I might as well point people to the book that _Volcano_ was swiped from - John McPhee's _The Control of Nature_, the third of it that dealt with the eruption near Heimaey of Eldfell, and what the inhabitants of the local town did to prevent the lava from filling in their harbor. If you haven't read it, it is, quite honestly, one of the most jaw-dropping true life stories you'll ever read - for instance, there's a bit where McPhee discusses how a *mountain* broke off and sailed around the lava flow for a few weeks. Durndest thing ever. #twister
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Adah
11/13/09

@capnrob: Volcano is stupid enough that my mother, who's entire science qualification is that as a special education teacher she's functioned as an assistant to some high school earth science classes actually starts writhing in pain over that movie. When someone with a 10th grade science education can explain to you why your movie is retarded, your movie is truly retarded. #twister
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capnrob promoted this comment Adah was starred Adah was unstarred

capnrob
11/13/09

@Adah: Yes, but it's *particularly* amusing when the people doing the writhing are all yelling at the screen using words that are eighteen letters long and describing the geology of the Los Angeles basin and the various faults with their hands. #twister
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Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H.
11/12/09

In reply to Disaster Movie Moments That Pissed Us Off The Most
I saw Volcano in a dollar theater, and that was perfect. It was so ridiculous that we stopped nitpicking and just went with it. Even stone cold sober, though had we smuggled in things like some of our fellow movie-goers, might have been better. We just sat back and enjoyed the LA destruction. #twister
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jajbowler
11/12/09

In reply to Disaster Movie Moments That Pissed Us Off The Most
At Best Buy a while ago "The Happening" was on their 'Hit Movie' stand... I felt like I should explain to the employees what the mistake was. #twister
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Doctor Who?
11/12/09

In reply to Disaster Movie Moments That Pissed Us Off The Most
Armageddon would be better if Ben Affleck died at the end. Just like Mallrats is better because he gets kicked in the balls at the end. #twister
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Paul_Is_Drunk
11/12/09

@Doctor Who?: He gets prison raped in the end.

Also, watch the DVD. The sex scene tape has an outtake of Ben Affleck in a dress trying to keep a straight face as he gets pegged.

I honestly don't get the Affleck hate. He's made some bad films, but no worse than say Nicholas Cage, and at least he can make fun of himself, which he does quite often. #twister
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CParis promoted this comment Paul_Is_Drunk was starred Paul_Is_Drunk was unstarred

Vulcan Has No Moon
11/12/09

@Doctor Who?: Armageddon would be better if everyone died at the end. #twister
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iamnomad
11/12/09

@Vulcan Has No Moon: Armageddon would have been better if everyone died at the beginning of the movie.

Except for Steve Buscemi, he was cool. #twister
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wanion
11/12/09

@Vulcan Has No Moon: I like the fact (oh and SPOILER ALERT, as if it matters) that Steve Buschemi's character not only survives but gets a sort of comic relief pay off at the end, even though it's his character who goes psycho and gets a bunch of people killed. #twister
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Tyrunn
11/13/09

@wanion: Doesn't the same happen in, (the sorely over looked by the Academy), Con Air?

He's a child molesting murderer, yet also the most likeablt character in the movie! #twister
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wanion promoted this comment Tyrunn was starred Tyrunn was unstarred

manimatr0n
11/13/09

@Paul_Is_Drunk: I agree wholeheartedly. And I'll add Keanu Reeves to the mix. Both are better than people claim, and apparently are just made fun of because it's "in", and it freakin drives me crazy. Why don't people spend this much time making fun of legitimately bad actors, like Channing Tatum? #twister
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CParis
11/13/09

@Paul_Is_Drunk: Affleck has done his share of crap, like any other actor. I thought he was quite good in "Hollywoodland" as 1950s Superman George Reeves. #twister
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CParis
11/13/09

@manimatr0n: Don't be hating on Channing Tatum. Just watch him with the sound off. #twister
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wanion
11/13/09

@manimatr0n: @CParis: Affleck I don't mind, but he can be a pretty lazy actor if he doesn't have the write script/director. Also thought he did a good job with Gone Baby Gone as a director.

Keanu on the other hand, I've never been able to understand all his defenders, unless it's just some sort of Matrix fanboyism, or, no, maybe it's Walk in the Clouds fanboyism? The guy's basically a character actor who's inexplicably given roles bigger and broader than his limited range can support. He should just stick with Dog Star. #twister
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wanion
11/13/09

@Tyrunn: If they weren't Michael Bay movies, I'd say that's almost subversive. #twister
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manimatr0n
11/13/09

@wanion: Nope. Not the Matrix fanboyism. Watch the second two closely, every goddamn actor was phoning that shit in by Revolutions, including Hugo Weaving. Blaming Keanu's acting for that movie is ridiculous. I like Keanu Reeves for My Own Private Idaho, A Scanner Darkly, The Replacements, Point Break, Speed, The Devil's Advocate, The Day The Earth Stood Still, and I am looking forward to the live action Cowboy Bebop. Seriously, go watch the series, and you count how many times Spike has to be anything other than wry and low-key. I'll tell you now, the answer is not a lot. Keanu's had flops, but hell, when he's hot, he's hot. But the movies I listed prove he can carry major box office hits when the material he's given is worthwhile, and I think movies like the Replacements and The Day the Earth Stood Still are pretty underrated. You know what was wrong with Stood Still? That damn little kid, not Reeves. Reeves was fine. #twister
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wanion
11/14/09

@manimatr0n: I have to point out that in almost all of the movies you list to prove Reeves can carry major box office hits, he's not the one doing the heavy lifting, in fact, it's generally not the acting that's driving them. Several of the movies you mention aren't at all bad, but Keanu still isn't bringing much to the table. He gets by because he's never asked to do much more than provide a platform for the plot to revolve around. He's a placeholder, basically.

And who's blaming Keanu for what movie?

Also, you know what was wrong with the Day the Earth Stood Still? That they'd already made a better one 50 years ago. #twister
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manimatr0n
11/14/09

@wanion: He carried Speed, My Own Private Idaho, and Point Break. He did a very highly praised performance as Hamlet in the theater. And I'll admit the first DtESS was far superior. Just like Lon Chaney's Wolfman is impossible to improve upon. But, the remake wasn't bad, of DtESS, and I'm sure Benicio del Toro's version will be watchable. My point was Reeves didn't suck in it. And as far as Devil's Advocate is concerned, it's Reeves and Pacino what carry that movie, pretty equally. My point in all of it is I consider outright distaste for the man is unwarranted. He's in a place now where DiCaprio was after Titanic. Unfortunately, nobody's written a Blood Diamond or Catch Me if you Can for Reeves yet. #twister
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wanion
11/15/09

@manimatr0n: And my point in all of it is I consider outright distaste for the man is warranted. But let me know when someone does give Keanu Reeves his Blood Diamond, Catch Me If You Can, or even Titanic, maybe I'll reconsider. #twister
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bluehinter
11/12/09

In reply to Disaster Movie Moments That Pissed Us Off The Most
I hate each and every one of those movies with an undying passion, and even though I only saw the RiffTrax version of 'The Day After Tomorrow', it still wasn't enough to prevent me going into a physics nerd-induced seizure each and every time they had a "cold running" scene.

Also, when they decided to burn all the books inside a building filled to the brim with wooden chairs, desks, coffee tables, and all sorts of other useless furniture that would probably have burned six times longer and provided twice the heat!!!! #twister
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ExtensionOfBob
11/12/09

@bluehinter: But that vintage furniture would be worth so much money once the disaster ended and regular commerce recommenced. #twister
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Invisible Circus
11/12/09

@bluehinter: OH MY GOD That annoyed me too!!! I guess Roland was telling the truth about why he hated things...one of them was a bible #twister
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Pants McCracky
11/12/09

In reply to Disaster Movie Moments That Pissed Us Off The Most
In defense of Armageddon, it's been years since I've seen it, but weren't those rovers supposed to be repurposed military vehicles, hence the guns? Anyway, I give Armageddon a pass because it at least showed some proper respect for NASA. #twister
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birdtongue
11/12/09

@Pants McCracky:
i saw it in the theater with a couple girlfriends back in high school, and i honestly was moved to tears when the two shuttles launched. i wasn't bawling or anything, but nothing else even fazed me in that movie. hm. apparently, that may be due solely to the actual launch footage in that scene... #twister
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Ruthless, If you let me promoted this comment birdtongue was starred birdtongue was unstarred

Ruthless, If you let me
11/13/09

@Pants McCracky: It's been years since I've seen it too, but I think you are right about the re-purposed military vehicles. Either that, or it was meant to deal with the moon bandits... #twister
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DoctorZoidberg
11/13/09

@Ruthless, If you let me: Ha! I just remembered the line from that movie when the captain of the space shuttle pulls out a gun and the other guy says "why do you have a gun in space"? #twister
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Ruthless, If you let me promoted this comment DoctorZoidberg was starred DoctorZoidberg was unstarred

Golem100
11/12/09

In reply to Disaster Movie Moments That Pissed Us Off The Most
What I couldn't figure out in "The Day After Tomorrow" was why didn't they burn the furniture? That surely would have been better than books. Also, somebody on IMDB, I think, pointed out that the cold would have come down, not sideways through the hall. #twister
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CParis
11/12/09

@Golem100: But I do like the scene in "Day After Tomorrow" when the librarians are arguing about whether to burn some books by Nietzsche and the teen kid says "Uh... there's a whole section on tax law down here that we can burn." #twister
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Golem100
11/13/09

@CParis: The whole Nietzsche books scene was one of the few saving graces of the movie. *g* #twister
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gorehound
11/12/09

In reply to Disaster Movie Moments That Pissed Us Off The Most
Awesomely funny !!! But I do take issue with some of the breaking points as I state that if you are "baked" enough you will actually enjoy all those stupid moments like the one in Armageddon as dumb as that scene is.Heck that whole movie is pretty dumb. #twister
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Dr.Quatermass
11/13/09

@gorehound: They say that love is only a handful of chemical reactions, that fear and rage are so much science roiling in your body and brain. I propose that the same applies to movies. With the right chemicals, anything is incredible. #twister
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Chip Overclock
11/12/09

In reply to Disaster Movie Moments That Pissed Us Off The Most
One positive point about TWISTER: it had a damn good soundtrack, by Mark Mancina. #twister
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Dr Emilio Lizardo
11/12/09

In reply to Disaster Movie Moments That Pissed Us Off The Most
Garrison Dean writes better disaster than any of these.
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Edited by Dr Emilio Lizardo at 11/12/09 5:56 PM Dr Emilio Lizardo was starred

firstanointed
11/12/09

In reply to Disaster Movie Moments That Pissed Us Off The Most
I. HATED. DANTE'S. PEAK. SO. MUCH.

I will never forgive them for the Grandma scene. #twister
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Ronnoc
11/12/09

@firstanointed: I loved it so much. Probably for the same reasons you hate it, too!
Yay unintentional comedies! #twister
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DireWombat
11/12/09

@firstanointed: I watched Dante's peak for the first time with some people from a vulcanology class. You can play a great game of "Volcanic Hazard Bingo" with it, because they cover ALL of them. (You can also play a neat sub-game of "Name the volcanic hazard and what the movie got wrong about it," of course. =) #twister
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gwerner
11/12/09

@firstanointed: I thought the driving over hot lava was worse than the grandma sacrificing herself scene #twister
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Ruthless, If you let me promoted this comment gwerner was starred gwerner was unstarred

EdificeComplex
11/12/09

In reply to Disaster Movie Moments That Pissed Us Off The Most
Let's not forget death by solar flare. #twister
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