Don't get me wrong, we're almost as happy as the next man that Spider-Man is getting his long overdue day in the sun this year, but it's not enough. The Thanksgiving Day parade we'd want to be watching would have to include some of the following:

A Yoda Balloon
To be honest, we have no idea how this hasn't happened already. If ever there was a fictional character more suitable for translating into giant inflatable form that isn't named Pikachu or Snoopy, we'd like to meet them. It's not like Star Wars isn't popular enough, or that George Lucas doesn't have the Clone Wars TV show to promote. Why hasn't this happened yet?

A Partially-Deflated Superman Balloon
Because who doesn't want to see more of this?

A Brock Samson Balloon
Yeah, you heard us. And he can be pulled by lots of people dressed as the Monarch's henchmen. Admittedly, this may just be part of our Venture Bros-filled dream lives that would also include a Venture musical, complete with singing Hank and Dean and Nathan Lane as Phantom Limb. But until then, we can comfort ourselves with the dream of a giant, mulleted balloon of black t-shirt-wearing pain smoking and floating throughout the streets of a cold New York November morning, terrifying evildoers and NBC announcers alike.

Scenes From The Spider-Man Musical Being Performed In Front Of Macy's For An Unenthusiastic Audience
Just as every year's parade features special guests from the latest Broadway hit miming a song from their show while jumping about trying to desperately keep warm, why not give everyone a chance to see what U2 and Julie Taymor have cooked up for the perpetually-troubled Spider-Man musical Turn Off The Dark, thereby convincing everyone once and for all that Arena Rock and outsider superheroes really isn't a good fit after all. After all, given all the troubles the production has gone through already, this kind of performance may be the only time anyone will see anything from the show.

Stargate Universe Float
This is another no-brainer. What better way for the newest Stargate to win over new audiences than with a float filled with cast members to sum up what the series is all about? This is what I picture: The float itself looks like a scale version of the Destiny, with Scott and Chloe having sex on one side, Rush and Eli looking at computer screens and frowning, before Young walks up and shouts at them, leaving TJ to one side, looking on concerned. At the back of the float, Greer can look crazy and shoot his gun in the air, and somewhere, Camille can have multiple showers because that's what she seems to do if last Friday's two shower scenes are anything to go by. How could that not make everyone want to tune in on a regular basis?

Make those changes, and all it'd take would be the addition of Edward James Olmos and Mary McDonnell as replacement Matt Lauer and Meredith Vieiras (with Mark Sheppard taking the Al Roker wandering reporter role, of course; he has to be in everything, after all), and the show would be perfect. Well, for us, anyway. What changes would you need to make you have to tune in?

Let's get the familiar names out of the way first, shall we? Marvel have the first issue of Ultimate Comics: Armor Wars, which places Planetary and Transmetropolitan writer Warren Ellis in charge of Iron Man again, freed of too many continuity woes and watches what happens. Also out of continuity, Spider-Man Noir reimagines Peter Parker in 1920s New York, while the in-continuity (and non-Sam Jackson-esque) Nick Fury realizes the futility of existence in Secret Warriors Volume 1: Nick Fury, Agent of Nothing. Less existential pondering and more ass-kicking can be found in Hulk: Planet Skaar and Hercules: Prince of Power, both of which explain the finer points of "smashing," I believe.

Smashing may help the political state of the Romulan empire, which is somewhat shaky in IDW's Star Trek Romulans: Schism, while Dynamite add their voice to the licensed choir with what may turn out to be the surprise of the week: The first issue of Galactica 1980, resurrecting (and promising to improve) Lorne Greene's far-from-finest hour as the original Battlestar Galactica finds Earth in the middle of disco.

DC Comics have a couple of interesting collections to consider this week: Showcase Presents Warlord Vol. 1 reprints the beginnings of DC's premiere sword and sorcery comic - with some great art by Mike Grell - while Tom Strong Deluxe Edition Vol. 1 does the same for the first year of Alan Moore's retro "science hero" series which lurches from semi-parody to sincere tribute to stories gone by, with amazing art by people like Chris Sprouse, Art Adams and Dave Gibbons.

If you're looking for more Gibbons, this is definitely your week; he pops up (again working with his Watchmen collaborator Moore) alongside many other creators in the enjoyable The Spirit Archives: The New Adventures hardcover collection of a short-lived 1990s attempt to revive Will Eisner's classic character, but the motherlode for Gibbons fans - or Frank Miller fans, for that matter - is the deluxe collection The Life and Times of Martha Washington In the 21st Century, which brings together all of Miller and Gibbons' alternate future political satire, from Give Me Liberty all the way to last year's The Death of Martha Washington. Individual, powerful and weirdly compelling, it'd be the book of the week, if it wasn't for two other Dark Horse releases.
Those would be Beasts of Burden, a new series by Space Ghost (and Milk & Cheese) writer Evan Dorkin and artist Jill Thompson about the pet protectors of a particularly supernatural neighborhood (Look here for a sample of what to expect and fall in love), and Super Spy creator Matt Kindt's new graphic novel, 3 Story: The Secret History of the Giant Man, which takes a serious and beautiful look at the old cliche of the man who was as tall as a building. Both are highly recommended.

Whether you're looking to buy all of Dark Horse's impressive slate this week or something else, the Diamond Shipping List can help you decide what you should be spending money on, and the Comic Shop Locator Service will make sure you know where to spend it. Just remember to pick up something new and unusual this week; it's a good week to go outside your norm.

Vader's fellow Sith Lord, Darth Mojo, has been posting about the process of developing these ancient Cylons at his blog It's fascinating that the designers' first stabs at a 2000-year-old Cylon centurion wound up looking so Vader-esque. Actually, I've been seeing ads around San Francisco for a Samurai art show recently, and the Samurai helmets really do look like Vader's, especially when glimpsed from the corner of your eye.

Drolet ended up losing the side flaps, so the helmet looked more Cylon and less Sith:

It's well worth reading the full article, which includes more pics of the ancient Cylons and some Samurai reference art, plus more insights into the designers' creative process. [Darth Mojo]

Sure, sure you can argue that it's merely the traditional "coming of age" hero tale, but you can't deny some of the obvious similarities. While we're on the topic of brilliant internet videos, we'd be wrong not to mention Piano Cat vs. Spiderman....

This is why we love the internet. Where else can you see one terribly costumed Spiderman get played off by a fancy-jacketed piano-playing cat? I dare you not to laugh.
[ via Geekologie]

Novels written in the aftermath of the Second World War tend to show war as a straightforward conflict between the forces of good and evil, monumental armies clashing upon resonant battlefields. The Cold War, and particularly the nuclear dread associated with it, changed all that. Now one mighty battle was unlikely to provide a conclusion (if it happened at all), but rather there was a weary sense of endless conflict; and the concentration was more likely to be on civilian casualties than brave warriors... We are just now beginning to get a war fiction born from the aftermath of the Iraq War." — Paul Kincaid, in his latest Science Fiction Skeptic Column over at Bookslut.

To celebrate the final passing of SGA the Sci Fi Channel is running a week long marathon.

Monday:

The Stargate Atlantis marathon takes flight on Monday, beginning with Season 2 from 8 AM until 4 PM on the Sci Fi Channel.

Movies:
Fox FX has a great selection o' scifi tonight. Watch urinary tracts get healed with the mere wave of an inmate's hand in The Green Mile at 4:30 PM, followed with the rather unfortunate The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen at 8 PM. To top it all off, there is an 11 PM showing of Spawn.

Tuesday:

Stargate Atlantis Season 2 and 3 Marathon on the Sci Fi Channel from 8 AM until 6 PM.

The Universe -

Find out your chances for getting crushed by a world-ending asteroid here on Earth, in this week's The Universe on The History Channel at 9 PM.

Movies:

A three-and-a-half-hour version of Superman Returns is on FX in HD, at 6:30 PM

Wednesday:

Stargate Atlantis Season 3 Marathon on the Sci Fi Channel from 8 AM until 6 PM

Thursday:

Stargate Atlantis Season 3 and 5 Marathon on the Sci Fi Channel from 8 AM until 8 PM.

Movies:

The sexiest video game vixen, Lara Croft, comes to life via Angelina Jolie in Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle Of Life on TBS at 10 PM. How insanely hot would it be to have a Resident Evil Alice-versus-Lara Croft fight, and who would win? (It would have to be Alice from the first movie to keep it interesting.)

Friday:

Stargate Atlantis Season 5 is on the Sci Fi Channel from 8 AM until 6 PM.

Stargate Atlantis -
The final episode of Stargate Atlantis "Enemy At The Gate" brings a lot of old faces back to Atlantis to try and stop an invading Wraith Hive from getting into the Milky Way Galaxy and taking over Earth. Team up, SGA and make us proud, this is your last episode ever...until the made for TV movies sometime in the future.

Clips From The Final Episode Of Stargate Atlantis:














SGA Promo:





Batman The Brave And The Bold -
"Enter The Outsiders" pits Batman against a bunch of punk kids, and Wildcat comes along for the ride. The cartoon is on 8 PM on the Cartoon Network

Star Wars Clone Wars -
"The Gungan General" is a Jar Jar Binks-centric episode, mixed with a little chain gang runaway action. Hey, at least Obi-Wan is as unhappy about being around Jar Jar as I am. The next episode is on 9 PM on the Cartoon Network.

Clone Wars Promo





Sanctuary -

This week on the Amanda Tapping-and-monsters show, it's the second part of the "Revelations" two-parter, where Henry and Ashley are held captive by the evil Cabal. Find out if they make it out alive at 9 PM on the Sci Fi Channel.

Saturday:

Movies:

Adam Sandler in a gimmick movie — say what? Click the movie where Christopher Walken hands Sandler a remote control to his LIFE, which of course teaches us all a valuable lesson about something or another. Click is on Fox FX at 5:30 PM.

Here's A Trailer With Kate Beckinsale In Tiny Shorts:





But if that's not heartstringy enough for you. ABC family is showing Practical Magic at 8:30 PM. It's full of midnight all-girl margarita table dancing madness, and witch women Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman. I think it's like a rule from the 90s that if you made a movie with a predominantly female cast, you had to have a scene where they all danced around a table.





Sunday:

Movies: Let Wesley Snipes show you how it's possible for vampires to walk in the daylight and get hideous hair cuts. Blade II and Blade Trinity is on TNT at 3:30 and 5:30 PM.

 
 
 
 
 
 
Leeloo from The 5th Element:

Milla Jovovich's character is the savior of the whole planet, and you can tell just from looking at her wrist. And of course, her dotted markings also match the markings on the movie's ever-important stones.

Tattoo From Elektra

Chris Ackerman's character's colorful belly buddies could come alive, off of his skin, and do a lot of damage. Obviously he's not the only tattoed man with powers. There's a Green Lantern villain, the Tattooed Man, who's a classic. We may actually be seeing Abel Tarrant the Tattooed Man in the Green Arrow's new flix Supermax

Fox from Wanted

Even though Angelina Jolie was pretty tatted up before playing the role of hottie assassin in Wanted, she added on even more wordy tattoos to her arms, hands and back. Guess which ones are real.

The vampire tat from Blade.

I think that if I ever saw someone with the familiar tattoo from the Blade movies we would become fast friends. While Wesley Snipes had some pretty serious shoulder markings around his upper half, nothing could beat the secret society "friends of the vampires" sign.

Enola from Waterworld

When the world is flooded and you spend your days on a boat drinking your own urine, look for the girl with the map on her back. The Japanese tattoo, that was NEVER explained, apparently held the key to dry land.

Scully from X Files

Scully gets a tattoo because she went through a thing, oh admit it Scully you're a bad girl at heart. Before finding out that her buddy's tattoo controlled his actions (photo above voiced by Jodie Foster no less) she got a Celtic Ouroboros slapped on her back. Here's video of Scully getting all inked up:

Lana Lang from Smallville

Lana's witchy tattoo connected her, not only to a bad lady with evil intentions, but to the Krypton Stones as well.

Jessica Sanders from Heroes

The symbol which plagues all the super humans is tattooed onto Jessica's back, and is half of the symbol of the evil company Pinehearst. Will the tattoo get its own plot line on Heroes?

Darth Maul from Star Wars : Episode I - The Phantom Menace

Before Darthy became an evil Sith he was just a red little fella, and then Sidious got his hands on him.

Chakotay from Star Trek Voyager

Noble Chakotay's face markings aren't explained until the "Tattoo" episode where you learn that others have the same style and design. Chakotay's tatts are to honor his father.

Rico Dizz And The Rest Of 'EmStarship Troopers

Because you're not really a bug killer unless you have a ridiculous tattoo, best part is during the futuristic laser branding scene they throw alcohol all over his freshly zapped skin, ha.

Denton Van Zan from Reign of Fire

Matthew McConaughey ridiculous dragon fighting attitudes were eclipsed only by his body armor of dragon tatts, he totally stole Clooney's look from Dusk Till Dawn.

Snake from Escape From New York

Fantastic character, terrible, horrible "snake in my pants" tattoo. How many times do you have to make the "do you want to see my trouser snake" joke, just for getting that tattoo?

Battlestar Galactica Love Tattoos

If I wasn't such a total wuss I would get Starbuck's and Anders' awesome "we're in love" tattoos tomorrow. Besides the fact that they are pretty beautiful, I love that they supposedly got them around the time of their wedding to represent love. The tattoo on the left however is from Gaeta! Who knew he had it in him.

The Doctor from Doctor Who

Jon Pertwee sported a cool tat in his first appearance as the Doctor — now do tattoos stay after you regenerate?

And no as much as I wanted to talk about Constantine, From Dusk Till Dawn and Harry Potter tattoos, they ain't scifi my friends. (Dusk Till Dawn's Clooney tattoo wins in that group btw). What's your favorite science fictional tattoo?