Crossing the 22-mile English Channel in a mere 13 minutes, the 48-year-old Rossy is said to have simply moved his head and back to steer the gizmo—made of eight-foot carbon-composite wings and kerosene-fuelled jet turbines—and landed by parachute. Wearing only a heat-resistant suit and helmet, he was moving at upwards of 125 mph. Remarked the sky captain, who took a similar, if shorter, joy ride above the Alps four months ago:

I was under tension. But fear? The day I fear, I don’t go.

If you’d like to watch the record-making flight in action, MSNBC has handily provided some footage, with a Matt Lauer play-by-play at no extra charge. (Alternately, you can turn down the volume and space-out to William Shatner’s vintage cover of Elton John’s “Rocket Man.”) Next up for the real-life Rocket Man: soaring above Arizona’s Grand Canyon. Talk about flying like an eagle.

Photo courtesy of ducaduca.

6. Trek is a poison dart of nostalgia aimed at the hearts of aging fan-dudes. The franchise caters to a fearsomely loyal cadre of dorks who recite Shatner's Promise Margarine commercials to each other. They also obsess over every minor detail from the show's 40,000 year history, leading to...

5. Obsessive continuity and reveling in cheese. Rumor has it the new Trek movie will feature tribbbles and the Guardian of Forever, and god knows what other callbacks to ancient episodes. Trek also groans under the weight of cliches it can never outgrow, from "beam me up" to "warp nine" to "shields down to 59 percent."

4. It's an out-of-date news flash. Trek's format is a Cold War relic, from the original show's running Soviets=Klingons metaphor to the post-Cold War "new order" of TNG and DS9. Most storylines relate to "our" superpower, the Federation, facing off against other superpowers or coping with third-world planets. Take away the Cold War as a reference point, and you have boring space opera.

3. It's no longer looking ahead. Like Star Wars, Trek is trapped in prequel-land. Enterprise bored us by filling in pointless backstory on the early days of Starfleet, but the J.J. Abrams movie looks to be twice as pointless. We already know everything we need to about young Kirk and the other Trek tots. Mining your own past is a prime symptom of idea bankruptcy.

2. We're tired of the clueless wanker with Aspergers who teaches us what it means to be human. Spock was sort of cute, so nu-Trek served up Data, Odo, that holographic doctor, Seven of Nine and T'Pol. It's not Trek without Rain Man trying to understand our human ways. We prefer the Cylons, who school us about humanity by screwing and killing us.

1. Sanctimonious preaching is in Trek's DNA. From the Prime Directive to the Captain's Log, the franchise was made for droning voices giving us lectures. Starfleet Academy must give would-be captains a special course in holding forth about the moral lesson in every conceivable situation. We're also sick of constantly hearing about how our heroes are too noble to share their advanced technology with other cultures.

In a nutshell, the only Star Trek we've liked in ages was Galaxy Quest, and that was mostly for Sigourney Weaver, Alan Rickman and Veronica Mars' dad.

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• The Original: Kirk's outfit changed here and there during the original series, but he stuck to the theme of black pants, black boots, and bright yellow shirt. Sometimes they embellished his captain's rank insignia on his wrists with more gold sparkle, but this is what swept countless hapless alien maidens onto his plastic bunk.
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• The Fancy Dress: When Kirk had to attend high-level functions like bar mitzvahs on Vulcan, he wore his dress uniform which had even more gold sparkles and a lime-green shirt. Nothing says hoity-toity fancy dress like sparkles and sequins.
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• Star Trek: The Motion Picture: Kirk got a funky mod outfit upgrade in this 1979 film. He's ready to hit a few disco floors and trip the light fantastic. Why they got rid of this uniform is beyond us, to say nothing of the mega-pointy sideburns.
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• Spacesuit Edition: Kirk had to venture outside the Enterprise to check things out in Star Trek: The Motion Picture, which meant he got to wear his white Captain's spacesuit, complete with accessories. Can you imagine the cleaning bill for this thing? It probably attracted smudges like tribbles.
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• Star Trek II: This movie gave Kirk a much-updated uniform, complete with an epaulet-flap that he could unbutton for dramatic effect. It didn't take long for him to get blood on it and ham it up in an effort to win a Purple Heart.
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• Kirk's Parka: In Star Trek II, Kirk also had to venture onto an ice-cold space station that had lost most of its power. This meant he had to bundle up to keep warm, giving birth to more Kirk-fashion in the form of a parka. Swanky.
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• The Casual Edition: When Kirk and crew visited our era in Star Trek IV, Kirk got a chance to wear his normal going-out clothes. We're not sure what's up with that funky shirt that looks like a tuxedo-spiral. Can you imagine your date showing up in this?
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• The Death Outfit: Kirk bought the farm in Star Trek: Generations, and luckily he had an outfit all prepared for it. This one looks as though his Star Trek II outfit mind-melded with his parka, and that union gave birth to this bastard child costume. Plus it has a jowl-disguising turtleneck as a bonus.

Famous names: Gene Roddenberry, William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, Deforest Kelley, James Doohan, Harlan Ellison, Theodore Sturgeon.

Crunchy goodness: 3

Spinoffs/Sequels/Copycats: Eleven films, plus Star Trek: The Next Generation, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Star Trek: Voyager and Enterprise.

Sights you'll never unsee: The half-black, half-white space racists running through fake yule log flames. A big blob ordering Abraham Lincoln to wrestle Vulcans. Captain Kirk flying a starship into a space dildo. Spock flamenco-dancing. It goes on and on.

Life lesson: "You'll have to get your entertainment somewhere else." — Captain Kirk.

Most painfully dated moment: The planet where the Vietnam war never ended.

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