How Snarf-Ra Invalidated Every ThunderCats Episode Ever

Although we can look back now and see how terrible most '80s cartoons used to be, most of them still have their charms. ThunderCats… not so much. Sure, it had an awesome opening credit sequence, but it was also the dumbest cartoon on TV, which was really saying something. And one episode, "Hair of the Dog," may well… » 8/28/14 10:09am 8/28/14 10:09am

​The ALF Christmas Special may be the root of all holiday depression

I recently learned that suicide rates don't peak during the holidays, but in the spring. This was a surprise to me for two reasons — 1) I presumed the bleakness of winter combined with the inevitable disappointment that accompanies any major joyous event would be the most major inspiration for people to kill… » 12/20/13 8:11am 12/20/13 8:11am

The Fart That Saved a Transformer’s Life

Amongst Transformers fans, there is a large, vocal group that insists Beast Wars is the greatest TF series of all. I’m not sure they’re wrong, but they’re kind of obnoxious about it. So if for some reason you get into an argument with one of them, please, remind them of “The Low Road,” which features a scene so… » 7/04/13 8:00am 7/04/13 8:00am

How two dumb kids with an axe almost destroyed She-Ra

Contrary to popular belief, He-Man’s biggest foe wasn’t Skeletor, and She-Ra’s wasn’t Hordak. What they both fought more than anything was the incredible stupidity of their friends, teammates, and general populaces of Eternia and Etheria. Case in point: “The Missing Axe,” in which She-Ra and her friend Bow risk it all… » 6/06/13 9:00am 6/06/13 9:00am

The time the Hulk battled baseball, capitalism and a giant rooster

In this golden age of comic-based entertainment, it can be easy to look back at shows like 1978-82’s Incredible Hulk TV series and feel that it somehow paved the way for today’s hit superhero shows and movies. Easy… but wrong, at least if you’re looking back at The Incredible Hulk episode “The Phenom.” » 5/31/13 8:00am 5/31/13 8:00am

When Sliders went to paradise, it was pure hell for viewers

There’s one thing you need to know about “This Slide of Paradise,” and that is it’s Sliders’ season 3 finale. Not only do Quinn, Wade, Rembrandt and Maggie think they’re going home, this is supposed to be the amazing hour of television that keeps viewers interested and eager to watch another season. Please keep this… » 5/17/13 8:05am 5/17/13 8:05am

KITT learns about the magic of music in the dumbest Knight Rider ever

Given David Hasslehoff’s bizarre European musical career, you might think that a Knight Rider episode centered around a very special concert would feature Hasslehoff singing and that it would be completely terrible. As it turns out, you’d be half right — “Knight Song” (sigh) is completely terrible, but at least… » 5/03/13 8:05am 5/03/13 8:05am

Star Trek: DS9 played the most dangerously idiotic game in the galaxy

Star Trek: Deep Space 9 is beloved among Trek fans, and rightly so. That still doesn’t mean its didn’t have a few piles of crap amongst its many good episode, and there’s not a bigger crap-pile than the reviled first season episode “Move Along Home.” Roll the dice and discover the worst game in the entire universe. » 4/26/13 8:40am 4/26/13 8:40am

The episode of Xena: Warrior Princess that set women, TV and comedy…

Xena: Warrior Princess isn’t just a cult TV success, but a feminist icon. The tough warrior fought for the good of the realm in the show, but the show itself helped pave the way for a new generation of female action stars and entertainment. Which makes the show’s decision to chuck Xena to put Gabrielle in a horrible,… » 4/11/13 9:45am 4/11/13 9:45am

When Godzilla fought the Loch Ness monster, everybody lost

Everybody remembers the abysmal 1998 American Godzilla film, but much fewer people remember the tie-in Godzilla cartoon — or that it was actually kinda good. Sure, it was goofy, and Godzilla looked like his CG movie counterpart, but at least it had monster fights. Still, even a giant monster fight couldn’t save the… » 4/05/13 12:31pm 4/05/13 12:31pm

The time Buck Rogers saved the galaxy from the horrors of rock and roll

When 20th century astronaut Buck Rogers was transported to the 25th century, he discovered while many things had changed over the last 500 years, some things stayed the same — namely, that rock and roll is evil and young people are the worst. And in the insanely horrible episode of Buck Rogers in the 25th Century » 3/29/13 8:00am 3/29/13 8:00am

There was a time when Iron Man sucked so bad he couldn’t get a credit…

Iron Man is one of the most popular superheroes in the world right now, thanks to the Marvel movies and Robert Downey Jr.'s incredible performances as Tony Stark. But there was a long time no one cared about Iron Man — including when he starred in his own cartoon in 1994. Which may explain why the show was so… » 3/21/13 8:00am 3/21/13 8:00am

Mulder and Scully reveal the dire consequences of hate sperm in this…

The X-Files had some high and lows during its 9-season run, but man, those lows were abysmal. Trying to figure out the Worst Episode Ever of The X-Files is as big a mystery as most of the X-Files themselves. Still, if you had to pick, you probably couldn't do much worse than “Fight Club,” a tale of bad wrestlers,… » 3/15/13 8:30am 3/15/13 8:30am

Jem’s adventure with the Yeti and the magic bongos was truly outrageous

The Oxford definition of the word "outrageous" lists two meanings: "shockingly bad or excessive" and "wildly exaggerated or improbable." I'd say both of those apply to the Jem and the Holograms episode "Journey to Shangri-La," in which Jem nearly kills both the Holograms and the Misfits — all for the sake of a magic… » 3/08/13 12:29pm 3/08/13 12:29pm

The first G.I. Joe/Cobra intramural football game was stupider than you…

We all agree that, no matter where you stand politically, it's a good thing to "support the troops." But what if, instead of defending our freedom, the troops were playing football games with terrorists? That's the question posed by one particular episode of G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero, titled "Pigskin Commandos."… » 2/28/13 11:00am 2/28/13 11:00am

This episode is the shame of Battlestar Galactica

Ron Moore's relaunch of Battlestar Galactica was critically acclaimed, but that doesn't mean it didn't have a stinker or two during its four-season run. And if there's one episode where everyone agrees that BSG accidentally crapped the bed — even Moore himself — it's season 2's "Black Market," in which BSG tries to… » 2/21/13 10:30am 2/21/13 10:30am