The Green Light Anti-Zombie Squad offers lectures and demonstrations to help you and your loved ones survive an army of the undead with your brains (and sanity intact). To ensure you'll make it through the zombie apocalypse, heed their simple tips.

1. Clear the Room: There's nothing worse than stepping into a room only to be set upon by a horde of brain-hungry zombies. A team of four armed shooters can easily clear a room if they all stand against the nearest wall: one body in each corner and two in the middle. This position proves optimal for quickly dispatching of a room full of the reanimated.

2. Never Turn Your Back on the Enemy: Shambling isn't just for zombies. Three live humans can stand with their backs together and carefully rotate through the room, ensuring that all eyes are facing outward and no one falls victim to a surprise attack.

3. The Fine Line: For those lucky enough to amass a relatively large army of live humans, the Fine Line is the best way to fend off roving zombie hordes. Simply form two lines of armed persons, one line in front of the other. Have the front line shoot while the back line holds. When the front line runs out of ammo, the back line steps in while the front line reloads. Tragically, the Squad's training zombie, Billy the Hunter, died while the Squad demonstrated this technique.

4. Zombies Are the Least of Your Worries: It's bad enough that you have to deal with the zombified masses, who are tireless, feel no pain, and greatly outnumber healthy human beings. But perhaps even more deadly are the humans who simply can't cope with the new world order. It's best if you keep a psychologist on hand who can identify and subdue such persons before they embark on a murderous rampage that makes the zombies look as ferocious as fluffy kittens.

5. Choose Your Weapons Wisely: Not all weapons work for all people, and the trendiest zombie-fighting armaments aren't always the best. When in doubt, melee weapons are a fine tool against the undead, but think twice before picking up that giant hammer. As satisfying as squishing zombie skull may be, swinging the hammer creates a sizable arc that gives zombies plenty of time to nibble at your armpits. GLAZS advises that you invest in a machete, which is cheap, lightweight, and neatly separates a zombie's head from its bodies. As for ranged weapons, you may want to reconsider that sawed-off shotgun you're so fond of. Bolt action rifles are both powerful and accurate, without the ammunition restrictions of the close-range shotgun.

6. Windows Are Not Your Friend: Zombies have a nasty habit of crashing through glass windows, so it's best to choose a hideout with as few ground level windows as possible. Steer clear of malls, coffee shops, and boutique outlets in favor of Costco, BJs, Sam's Club, or any other large warehouse. If you find yourself trapped in your house, it's best to hightail it up to the attic, which the uncoordinated zombies will have trouble reaching. Basements, even windowless ones, spell trouble.

7. No Brains for Oil: If you're traveling with a group, you may consider fleeing by minivan or SUV, but be warned that the gas mileage and rollover rates might be a literal killer. If you're traveling alone, it's best to take a high miles per gallon vehicle, like a dirt bike, or, better yet, grab a bicycle and escape the zombies under your own replenishable power.

8. Fight World War Z with TNT: Using dynamite around the undead is a tricky proposition; the right amount of explosives can blow them to bits, but you might get cremated yourself. It's better to stave off those desiccated corpse with a controlled burn. But, GLASZ's demolitions expert warns, make sure it's a fire you can contain. A raging wildfire could prove far more deadly than the zombies themselves.

9. Animals: Friend or Foe? Animals can be invaluable allies at the end of the world, but the zombie infection could render them more hazard than help. If the zombie plague is viral, it can infect any living cells, causing even the most inhuman animals to exhibit flesh-craving symptoms. GLASZ members ask: Would you rather fight off a zombie human — or a zombie lion?

10. Suit Up: Perhaps the best way to prepare for the day the dead rise from their graves is to assemble the perfect zombie-fighting attire. Avoid brain spray-back by wearing goggles and covering your face with a non-porous material. Use plate mail or leather to create a bite-proof body suit. Kevlar gloves (provided to some food industry workers) can be worn as is or refashioned into impenetrable sleeves, allowing you to fend off zombie bites by holding up your forearms. Riot shields also add an extra layer of protection and make the zombie head squishing that much easier.

[Green Light Anti-Zombie Squad]

XM-25 (pictured) - This grenade launcher has two things going for it: a laser range finder and shrapnel grenades with computer chips in them. What does this mean for soldiers? Imagine a bunch of aliens taking cover around a corner. Measure and set the range for just past the corner, fire a grenade, and watch as it completely negates their cover. This is basically a weapon you can't hide from.

Corner Shot Launcher - This Israeli/German weapon is also intended to eliminate the advantage of cover by allowing a soldier to peer around a corner with a video camera and then fire a grenade or smaller round using the collapsible firing post that can bend up to 90 degrees.

SCAR-Light - This rifle could be the replacement for the M-16, which was first introduced in 1964. It's basically a light, accurate, reliable gun with quick change barrels for different environments and easily replaceable parts. Sometimes simpler is better, although what's with the super creepy name?

FMG9 Folding Machine Gun - I'm not sure the world really needs a submachine gun that folds into a brick small enough to fit in a large pocket, and switches instantly from "brick" to "blazing instrument of death" with the push of a button. Can we uninvent this, please?

SAR 21 - This weapon is distinguished by the fact that the Singapore military has been using it for years. It's powerful and accurate, has integrated laser sights, is compact for fighting in tight quarters and is designed with a limited "straight back" recoil that doesn't affect accuracy. You have to wonder if the main reason the U.S. isn't using it is because it's made in Singapore.

So, no ray guns, which is kind of disappointing, and a lot of money and brainpower is being spent on developing efficient killing tools, which is also pretty disappointing, since we all know none of these will probably ever be used against alien invaders or zombies. Image by ATK.

Top 5 High-Tech Guns for Next-Gen Infantry. [Popular Mechanics]

Zombies!!! by Twilight Creations is one of the finest zombie games around. With the numerous expansions, you can fight for survival in a town, university, shopping mall, army base or spooky woods. Last Halloween we combined them all into one huge map that took up my whole living room and slaughtered the living dead in between trick or treater visits. Dead (again) zombies could be traded in for candy, so we had extra incentive.

Twilight Creations is a very zombie-centric company. They have a lot of zombie games, including Zombies!!! Soccer (unexpectedly fun) and this "What Would a Zombie Do?" spinner. Plod.

Zombie Fluxx by Looney Labs is the latest in their series of Fluxx card games. In any game of Fluxx, the rules and winning objectives change from turn to turn. Will you win by assembling a zombie baseball team, or gather your fellow survivors with a chainsaw and a can of gas and carve your way out? The word on the street is that Monty Python Fluxx will be coming out in the near future.

Last Night On Earth by Flying Frog Productions looks like an awesome game that I wish I'd had more time to demo at Origins last month. Each player plays a different character with unique abilities, making their way around the zombie infested town and trying to survive until sunrise. Expansion packs introduce new characters, while scenarios and a modular game board design make for huge replayability.

This lovely young woman allowed me to take a photo of her kick-ass zombie fashion while she was working at the t-shirt booth. Want.

There's lots of other zombie games out there. How do the other io9ers roll?

• Use a Mantra - Whether it's something simple to keep you focused ("I will survive.") or an inspiring reminder of what you'd miss if you give up ("I love my wife and kids."), repeating a mantra over and over can help clear your mind and get you through a chaotic situation.
• Don't Be a Victim - Once your basic needs are taken care of (like, you're not going to bleed to death in the next few minutes), divert your attention to the other people around you. See what you can do to help them. This takes your focus off of your own injuries and mental trauma. People who maintain this kind of selfless behavior have better survival rates in disasters. That's just one more reason to start leading a less self-centered life.
• Learn New Things - When you devote time and effort to learning a new task or skill, such as playing a musical instrument or speaking a foreign language, it literally changes the shape of your brain. If your life is in a rut and you follow the same routine, never trying anything new, your brain will have a hard time dealing with the sudden upheaval of a disaster. Keep your mind limber and you'll adapt more easily if the worst happens.
• Stay Emotionally Cool - Anger, frustration, or despair will cloud your thinking and lead you to make poor, possibly fatal decisions in a disaster scenario. Staying calm and cool is perhaps the most important thing you can do in the aftermath, but you can't just decide to be calm. You have to train yourself to be cool while in line at the DMV, dealing with the "customer service" of your cell phone provider, or whenever you visit your in-laws.
• One Step at a Time - What do you do when you find 100 zombies staggering through a corn field toward your isolated farm house? Lock the doors, barricade the windows, and find a gun. Seems simple, but could you clearly think through and prioritize those steps under such circumstances? This is a skill that you can use in your everyday life, whenever you feel totally overwhelmed by work and other responsibilities. Decide which one thing is the most efficient and important thing for you to do right now, then do it. Then do the next thing. Practice that and it will come naturally when the inevitable zombie apocalypse comes.

Gonzales offered many other excellent survival tips in his article, but I'm baffled at his complete failure to mention any zombie survival scenarios. Image by: underexposed949.

Deep Survival with Laurence Gonzales. [National Geographic Adventure]