Poor Taylor — she can't help leading aliens on. She's just constantly being misunderstood. First she's trying to seduce Drake, and he thinks she's a secret Trag agent and "let's get naked in the bathroom" is code for "let's unleash Black Cyber." Now she tries to bond with Sophia, but Sophia thinks "bond" is code for "get naked in the bathroom."

This show should just be an endless succession of sexy misunderstandings. "Oh, you thought I was going to reveal who crashed the spaceship? I was actually talking about giving you a lapdance." That would be awesome.

As it is, the show is sort of an interesting blend of teen hijinks with high alien drama. It's a bit wobbly, as it goes back and forth between "Who's coming to Taylor's meteor-shower party" and "Who's conspiring to take over the aliens and who wants to kill all the humans?" But that's not necessarily a bad thing. It's often in the wobbles, as a show blorps from one tone to another, that interesting stuff gets revealed.

But Taylor is just the best character on the show — by far. This show has found its Caroline Forbes, and thank goodness. Her delivery of lines like "This doesn't just happen" is a thing of miraculous wonder.

So in the latest Star-Crossed, there are two main plotlines:

1) Having seen a recording of how the spaceship crashed, Roman tries to figure out how the spaceship crashed. Because he's gullible enough for three Winchester brothers, Roman believes Castor when he says there was a mutiny and everybody was freaking out and Castor just shot the pilot and crashed the ship to keep the pilot from crashing the ship. Later, Roman believes whatever the next person tells him. Eventually, he figures out that Castor really did crash the ship, just like the recording showed. Roman nearly gets sent to the Crate, but Drake and his mom rescue Roman, and then Emery rescues them, and finally, the Trags rescue everybody. And then Castor tries to neutralize Roman by revealing to everybody that Roman and Emery are K-I-S-S-I-N-G. Which is worse than crashing a ship.


2) Taylor has a really awesome party and wishes Drake could be there, but Drake is too busy dealing with his newly returned mom and Trag drama and stuff. And meanwhile, Grayson suspects that something happened the night he blacked out and Zoe went missing, so he makes Taylor drive into the middle of nowhere so he can remember. At last, she just leaves Grayson out there, and goes home because hello — this doesn't just happen. Grayson decides that Drake killed Zoe, which is sort of true but sort of not. And he ineptly tries to blackmail Drake — who has just had an emotional breakthrough with Taylor, telling her that he's a bad guy but she makes him want to be better. Which is sort of like saying, "You can change me." Dr. Phil would not approve.


And finally, Drake's mom agrees to help the Trags develop their ultimate weapon — which is even more deadly and obliteratory than Black Cyber was. Be scared!