Television loves you. How do we know? Because this week's offerings include the Ghost Shark TV movie. Plus a guide for alien invaders. And a special about the man with the 132-pound scrotum. And most of all, Seth Green is stopping the A.I. apocalypse. Check out clips and details for this week's TV!
Top image: Delete
Delete (8 PM, Reelz):
Once again, Reelz is challenging Syfy for the "wacky disaster movie" crown — except this time, it's written by Stargate MVPs Joseph Mallozzi and Paul Mullie, and the stars include Seth Green and Matt Fewer. And it's about an A.I. revolt, which is arguably more interesting than a sharknado. Green plays Lucifer, "a hacker activist who is described as a cross between Gene Hackman in Enemy of the State and Wikileaks’ Julian Assange."
(Oh, and apparently this was made as a four-hour miniseries, but appears to have been edited down to a single two-hour TV movie.) Here's the deets:
Delete imagines a disaster in our all too fragile digital world where all computers could become dangerously self-aware with one systematic purpose - to destroy mankind. Faced with possible extinction, there is only one way out - create a second artificial intelligence, just as alive, just as intelligent and just as dangerous. Delete stars Emmy Award(R) winner Seth Green (Family Guy) Keir Gilchrist (United States of Tara), Matt Frewer (Falling Skies, Watchman), Janet Kidder (The Killing), Erin Karpluk (Being Erica), Emmy Award(R) winner and Golden Globe(R) nominee Gil Bellows (True Justice, Ally McBeal) and Ryan Robbins (Sanctuary, Apollo 18). Emmy Award(R) nominee Steve Barron (Merlin, Treasure Island) directs from an original screenplay by Joseph Mallozzi (SGU Stargate Universe) and Paul Mullie (Stargate SG-1).
The Man With the 132 LB Scrotum (9 PM, TLC):
The title of this special pretty much says it all. But you want more info? Here goes:
In this hour long special we learn about the extraordinary story of Wesley Warren Jr, a 49-year-old Las Vegas resident who is living with a rare medical condition called scrotal lymphedema. His scrotum has grown so large that he is unable to walk normally, or even wear pants!
Under The Dome (10 PM, CBS):
So basically there's a woman inside the Dome that nobody's noticed yet, because she was hiding. And she knows both Big Jim and Barbie. What are the odds? In any case, this is supposed to be a game-changing episode for the already-fraught relationship between Big Jim and Barbie.
The midseason finale — the show will be back in the winter. Until then, we'll be on the edge of our seat from the following cliffhanger:
Under Deaton’s advice, Scott and his friends use an ancient but extremely dangerous ritual to help them both save the lives of the people they love and stop Deucalion from achieving his sinister goal.
Also on TV tonight: At 9 PM, the Weather Channel has a new episode of Why Planes Crash. Disney XD has a new Packages from Planet X at 9:30 PM. NBC has another new Siberia at 10 PM, in which it snows and the "contestants" split into two groups.
It's the 100th episode! To celebrate, we're having a story in which the girls accidentally put Johnny into a fairytale sleep, and have to wake him up before their dad freaks out. There's also a brand new Teen Titans Go (see clip) in which Beast Boy thinks the villain Terra is his new girlfriend, but she's just using him.
Also on TV tonight: Discovery has a new Doomsday Preppers at 9 PM, followed by a new Doomsday Castle. Syfy has a new Face-Off at 9, followed by a new Heroes of Cosplay. There's also another episode of Bang Goes The Theory on BBC America at 9:40 PM.
Futurama (10 PM, Cartoon Network):
This episode has the intriguing title, "Murder on the Planet Express," and apparently it's about the crew being trapped aboard their spaceship with a horrific alien creature that wants to eat them. And it looks like it can disguise itself as any member of the crew, apart from the huge horrific mouth.
Also on TV tonight: There's a new Amazing World of Gumball on Cartoon Network at 7:30 PM, followed by a new Legends of Chima at 8. At 10 PM: Joe Rogan Questions Everything on Syfy. (Well, actually, Joe Rogan doesn't question everything on Syfy — because then he would be questioning the next item on our list.)
Ghost Shark (9 PM, Syfy):
Syfy sees Reelz's A.I. revolution, and raises... one paranormal shark. Sigh. To be honest, we'd way rather have Supershark 2. Or a sequel to that TV movie about mastodon bones chasing Summer Glau. Here's what Ghost Shark is about:
First sharks fall from the sky and eat lots of people. Now a dead shark seeks revenge on the entire human race. Where will it all end? In the new Syfy Original Movie Ghost Shark, premiering Thursday, August 22 at 9PM (ET/PT), a great white shark is tortured and killed by a fisherman, then returns from the dead, exacting vengeance on all humans. When Ava's (Mackenzie Rosman/7th Heaven) father is brutally murdered, no one believes that the ghost shark got him - except the crazy lighthouse keeper Finch (Richard Moll/Night Court). Ava and her friends take the problem into their own hands as they desperately try to survive the bloody wrath of the ghost shark.
GHOST SHARK, people! When the aliens come to wipe us out, this is what they'll point to as the final proof that our civilization was unworthy to survive. (Actually, I'm weirdly excited to watch this.)
Also on TV tonight: There's a new Burn Notice on USA at 9 PM. Also at 9, there's a new Mysteries at the Museum on Travel. At 10 PM, there's a new Wilfred on FX, plus a new Unsealed: Alien Files on Discover America. And at 12:15 AM, there's a new NTSF:SD:SUV on Adult Swim.
Continuum (10 PM, Syfy):
The penultimate episode of the season! And Travis is raising his game: "Kiera and Carlos must stop Travis after he gets his hands on a second CPS suit while Alec and Emily try to escape the mysterious Freelancers and deal a revelation about his past that could change everything."
Also on TV tonight: The Hub Network has a new Kaijudo: Rise of the Duel Masters at 6:30 PM.
Target Earth (9 PM, History Channel):
A brand new series with kind of an odd spin: "Similar to Modern Marvels, Target Earth will explore topics such as infrastructure, natural resources, and engineering, but with a new sci-fi twist: how would aliens view our planet if they were targeting Earth for takeover?"
Also on TV today: A brand new Max Steel on Disney XD at 8 AM, followed by Packages from Planet X and Camp Lakebottom. Nickelodeon has a new Rabbids Invasion at 11:30 AM. At 11 PM, Fox has the season finale of Axe Cop.
Marvel's Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H. (11 AM, Disney XD):
OMG I love the Collector. Also, this guest-stars Drake Bell (the voice of Spidey from Ultimate Spider-Man) as Spidey. "Perceived by the public as "menaces," Hulk and Spider-Man are the only ones left to save the planet from destruction when The Collector captures every last hero on earth."
Also on TV today: Nicktoons has two new Yu-Gi-Oh! Episodes at 11 AM, and a new Speed Racer: The Next Generation at 4 PM. At 8 PM, Disney has the season finale of Dog With a Blog, in which the dog probably gets seed capital to turn his blog into an important new social media outlet. AT 9 PM, AMC has a brand new Breaking Bad, in which Jesse "decides to make a major change in his life." Also at 9 PM: Showtime has a new Dexter. At 10 PM, H2 has another episode of Stan Lee's Superhumans. There's new episodes of Aqua Teen Hunger Force and Squid-Billies on Adult Swim starting at midnight.