palinode

mr4fingers

@Graeme McMillan: Post-IC Superman probably is about as powerful as pre-Crisis Superman, but the battle in question took place *during* IC, before "Up, Up and Away". (The ordeal of that battle is specifically what set up the power recovery storyline of "Up, Up and Away" after Superman spent a year depowered (per 52).)

urbalor

strider_mt2k

wafflesnsegways

c0dek

Really though, Superman travels to other parts of the universe all the time, and usually the presence or absence of a yellow sun is irrelevant unless there specifically IS a red sun. So I think the sun issue is moot.

And to respond to an earlier comment, the original incarnation of Superman received his powers from the weak gravity of Earth. Because Krypton's gravity was much stronger, on Earth Superman was able to jump really far and had increased strength. It was only later that his powers were described as deriving from yellow solar energy. At that point, Superman became nearly invincible, could fly, etc.

In Star Wars, the lightsaber is powerful, yes, but is it really more than an intense laser? Scientists have created lasers that can cut through almost anything in the real world, so I don't think it's just the ability to cut that makes the lightsaber interesting. It's more about control. Only Jedis and Siths (at least in most stories) have the power and control of the force to wield a lightsaber. That's what makes them cool for me, at least.

Anyway, no, a lightsaber would not cut Superman, because it is well documented that he can withstand nuclear blasts, the center of the sun, etc. All things that are more powerful than a laser (even one skillfully wielded).

PocketScientist

cde

Sith: You've moralized to me for the last time...

Supes: Just put that lightsaber down and let's talk.

Sith: (gestures) I think you'll bend over.

Supes: I think I'll bend over. (bends over)

One lightsaber high colonic later, the Sith gets back on his ship and leaves.

The morals:

1> Mind tricks trump lightsabers anyway, and;

2> Doesn't matter how tough your skin is; Kryptonians still have orifices. :D

Alcadema

taxbaby

Jonn

Jedi: "Your underpants are on the outside."
Supes: "My underpants are on the outside!"
*Superman flees, embarrased*

Voice_Of_DUR

AmishJohn

Eac_o_System

So at 50 feet, the blast would have traveled from the gun to the jedi in 44.8 milliseconds. If three guns are firing at the same time, give or take a couple of milliseconds, the jedi would need to move his saber in at least 50 milliseconds then I realize I'm arguing about jedi's and muzzle velocity and my brain 'splodes.

cde

No. Much safer if superman were to just separate the particles from the waves of light in the jedi's lightsaber, and then throw all the particles away, thus rendering the lightsaber harmless.

Pope John Peeps II

braak

braak

Well, supes will obvs win, because his hairless handsomeness will disarm the Jedi, who constantly is distracte by his emo babblings and his temptation to the dark side. Superman will cleverly say "hey Jedi, what's it like to be in love", and while poor Hayden is distracted by tears and lust for boobies, slide hairlessly through the air and punch him square in the gabonza.

Or perhaps superman will fly so fast that his speed actually slows down time, allowing all of the terrible Jedi dialogue from the last 3 star wars movies to pile up on itself, and render the jedi unconscious by sheer force of 'doiye'.

Pope John Peeps II

Jeff-Minor

cde

Pope John Peeps II

Annalee Newitz

Superman's powers are the result of the color of his native planet's sun. Yes? Not knowing the color of the various suns in the Galaxy Far Far Away, we don't know if the Jedi would be similarly powerful here on earth as is Superman. Or if Superman would be similarly weak in their galaxy.

Assuing the jedi are like us, and the fight occurs on good old earth, the saber does nothing. Superman has survived a nuclear explosion point black.

Ess

tetracycloide

Jedis tend to galavant across the galaxy to worlds with all sorts of suns, moons, blue diamonds, and purple horseshoes.

So wouldn't the type of planet and its sun type matter for this fight?

I think the problem is that depending on the writer, Superman is either invulnerable or NIGH invulnerable. They added in his vulnerability to kryptonite just to get themselves out of the corner they painted and have some drama. Otherwise, Superman is completely invulnerable except for a small two-meter wide kryptonite exhaust port. That just sounds stupid. Bad writing at least.

Spiral

NefariousNewt

And you make the assumption that only one person is shooting at him at a time, instead of like 10.

@tetracycloide: You're both wrong. Yoda wouldn't have the soul edge, Anakin/Vader (Sigfried/Nightmare) would. The parallels between the two are too great.

cde

inconstant_reader

But it could if... Since LightSabers need crystals to work, and Kryptonite is a crystal, if you make a Kryptonite LightSaber, you will be able to cut him bad!!!

And that is how it would work ... if it was real, of course.

whiskey

jessse

Annalee Newitz

jessse

it's good logic, i have to say..

m0unds

tetracycloide

rdcoyner

As for the choke... Yoda was able to lift the X-Wing out of a Bog. That's considerable tonnage. And in the comic Dark Empire, Luke crushed an AT-AT. Hell, in one of the books, I think the Jedi collectively destroyed a Super Star Destroyer using the Force. And they were on the planet below when they did it. So, I'd imagine Vader could in theory choke a (super) bitch. But, there's never been anything in any of the films to suggest they could concentrate that amount of pressure in such a small space.

rdcoyner

cashman04

Also, incidentally, blaster bolts are NOT lasers, and they do not travel as fast as light.

@braak: You would think so. But it DON'T. Heat vision can melt any and all substances, but it's just a laser, apparently. Nobody wants a hairy, silly Clark Kent. Also, this means that Superman spends whole weekends positioning mirrors in his apartment so that he can stare the hair off every part of his body.

"hey supes, what're you up to?"
"oh just some manscaping!" ZZZZPPPP.

Pope John Peeps II

jdgiotta

SunZhiQian

braak

cde

SunZhiQian

Superman winces.

SundaySunday

cde

cde

@PiningForTheFnords: That's exactly how superman shaves. And trims his nails and hair.

Pope John Peeps II

Sounds like a list of awesome reasons for why Jedis are way cooler than Superman any day. ;)

aerrin99

PiningForTheFnords

braak

While we're at it, would you rather give Geordi back his eyes or make Data a human?

7Zark7 Iz In Ur Internetz

And, now I need to go figure out where I last saw my life for having attempted to solve this riddle.

rdcoyner

@Kaiser-Machead: But they can move fast enough to deflect a laser blast with a light saber, so they are technically moving at the speed of light, if not faster.

@Nately: Adamantium is weak sauce and has been cut through, melted, destroyed plenty of times.

cde

That has nothing to do w/ Superman vs. lightsaber, I'm just sayin....

HootieMac: Section 9 Reject

HootieMac: Section 9 Reject

cde

Pope John Peeps II

Silverfuture

But can it cut adamantium?

Nately

Jack

Strangeite

Kaiser-Machead's LEGO WALL-E

Kaiser-Machead's LEGO WALL-E

I try hard to forget lots of things about the Star Wars Universe. Seriously. The worst enemy Star Wars has is Star Wars. "Oh the force is bacteria". "Oh, there isn't actually a 'dark' side to the force, but it is ALL ONE". "Hey, I've got an idea! Let's clone EVERYBODY ALL THE TIME". "Oh, hey. The force affects everything. Just not these bug people. Oh but wait now it does". What a hokey load.

It's like comparing the original Dune books with the carnival of crap that Dune has become lately. Urgh. Makes me so sad. Why must decent mythologies be handed to people who ruin them?

Pope John Peeps II

What the heck fun is a nearly-invincible super hero, anyway? Superman is totally lame.

SunZhiQian

So maybe a kryptonite lightsaber would work against Superman.

d00d34

ven.batista

Also, the Superman invulnerability is probably the same sort of close-range telekinetic effect they invented to explain why giant objects hold together when supes picks them up.

Pope John Peeps II

tk.

Just kidding; I like the logic behind your answer, but I have to rule in favor of the lightsaber. It is technology from a Galaxy Far, Far Away, so it could rival Supes.

Benjo

Graeme McMillan

Oh, Kryptonite lightsabers. We love you, Internet.

7Zark7 Iz In Ur Internetz

So, not only would a light saber do nothing at all, but the Jedi, the lightsaber, and everything around Superman would be sucked into his event horizon.

FrankenPC

Jeff-Minor

Strangeite

braak

Go go gadget Youtube!

[youtube.com]

Seth L

I think it would go something like the Venture Brothers episode where Number 21 tries to use a lightsaber on Brock.

"I've be gypped!"

Seth L

EBone

AmishJohn

mitchel_stevens

Gyrus

NefariousNewt

Biggrz

Gyrus

For example: "Who would win in a fight: A vampire or a werewolf?"

And also (here's the pertinent part): "Who would win in a fight: you or Yoda?"

braak