PriorMarcus

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cyr3n

And yes, some people weren't constructive, I agree totally. No one is allowed to be a prick (although we do all slip at times, I'm no exception). I suppose, more than anything, I was simply disappointed by your post, I hope hoping you'd use it to shed more light on the show and defend it better. I'm not sure why that is, but like I said your back story interest me, and I support all ventures of this kind, I suppose that might be why.

Anyway, your reply to me was very good. Reasoned and polite, I appreciate that, thank you. I'm going to keep an eye on Venus Rising, because despite not being entirely sold by this clip, I see potential for improvement, and in the end I loose nothing, but you gain a viewer - maybe even a fan.

Good luck with the project, I hope you'll come back to this place and talk about it some more when it's out.

PriorMarcus

Being a convention junkie & gamer, I'm well aware of the power of fan-based community. I operate my own mmorpg on the side; work on 2 more during the day. And run piles of websites. Sci-fi is another passion of mine... which is why I'm here! You can't seriously sit there and say "oh that guy is allowed to be a prick, but you, you're not allowed to say suck-an-egg. bad girl!"

The facts are: This is an indie sci-fi series. No one is paid. The audio is all raw.. not post-worthy. Probably not the best clip to rep our project overall but it has 4 out of 5 of the main cast in it. We're just as sick of the crap on the sci-fi channel as you are. On the weekends, (when not LARPing or gaming) we tirelessly work on VR. why the heck are you comparing us with bsg or firefly anyhow?? BSG, sanctuary, and firefly all have pro actors and budgets. lol~ we don't! >.<

cyr3n

cyr3n

That clip obviously sucked. But. With ALLOT of work it can come out really good. Here's my moment by moment critique.

1. Why does she swing her arm in the opening sequence. It's a movement done by teenagers in our time... it gives her character, right away, a feeling of immaturity.

2. When he asks "where is everyone" She completely ignores his question and asks one of her own. And secondly, he isn't really looking around, and thirdly, is he scared, anxious, nervous, or just mildely courious that he's on a spaceship, in the middle of space, and nobody else is around... WHO IS HE? Where is the emotion that would define more, what type of person he is.

3. She asks " What kind of ship.." Also no emotion, no "feeling/dimension" to the character. Why is she asking, why does she care, what difference would it make, whats her motivation. All important questions to really get the actors into the script.

4. When he answers her question, if he knew in advance he would have done a slight "over the shoulder" thing to indicate to us, who can't see the view screen, that he already knew, and was checking something else out on the screen. If he didn't know, how does he "figure it out" so quickly?

In short, What's on the screen?

So! Basically a good effort, but, someone who probably has experience with some other form of scriptwriting, and not really familiar with the nuances of human dialog, and emoting on a "real" level.

ysscl

crewgrew

fishbot

"What do we do?"

"I'm not going to tell you. Just be quiet."

[nudges gun out of bad guy's hand]

"Now I'll yell at her. Don't bother watching the door for more bad guys. And whatever you do, don't pick up the fallen gun."

"Uh-oh."

"What! I'm busy!"

"In a dramatic plot twist, your plan didn't work."

kitharion

PVIII

Oxfordian

Message boards have no imagination.

JohnnyZito

If I was to make my own series in this fashion, and then it came to the point where I had to decide upon a first clip for release I would want to choose one that demonstrates the pro-writers I have working with me, the excellent acting and the fantastic directing.
I'm trying to sell people on this series, I would choose the BEST of what I had to offer.
Either that didn't happen here (in which case I'm going to question, why not?) or it did (and then I'm going to have to question what meant to make me want to watch?).

I understand that this type of production is hard, and that the reaction of fans and potential viewers is important to it's success, so maybe you should take those comments to heart and try to improve in the future, people will respect that.
You work on this show, you should champion it, you should promote it and you should defend it, but that doesn't mean you should show your most venomous side in doing so.
People don't like what they have seen - fine, it's their opinion, I didn't like what I saw either, obviously you did, that's fine too.
But it's not fine when you try to attack those who didn't like it, it's not going to sway their opinion, it's not going to make them want to watch, and you really need to make them do that. Some decorum cost nothing, but it can earn you a lot.
I would be ashamed if someone on my staff behaved like you did.

And the fans aren't the reason that nothing new exist in the medium, they are the reason that Serenity exist, they are the reason that Jericho got a second season. Fans are the force behind any successful show, or any brilliant idea.
Sometimes they might not prove to be enough, but when something reaches them, they can get results.

That said - can you really make a veiled claim that this is new? It's clearly inspired by Firefly, so far as to draw direct comparisons from it, and beyond that it's even more similar to Cowboy Bebop. Firefly got a lot of negative attention for it's similarities to Cowboy Bebop, it was even claimed to be a blatant rip-off by a lot of people, I can't imagine what people will think of your show with this fact in hand.

I hope you do well, I hope this series is good, but from what I've seen of it, I'm not impressed. And I'm not impressed by the attitude of people that should be saving face in the public light.

If your show doesn't work it's because people aren't interested, not enough of them, anyway. It's not because they are wrong, it's because your simply not making a show that is gripping them, or your not doing it right.

I hope you see this and accept it as a valid response to your rather angry reply, and I hope it sparks you to engage in some intelligent debate about what you said and the points I've tried to rebuke it with, if not, then at least I've had my soapbox moment, and were all entitled to that - although I'm not sure you believe that.

PriorMarcus

Jeff-Minor

matteblender

Plus, is it just me, or did that dude just completely handle that weapon wrong as well?

strider_mt2k

Pham_Nuwen

When your "lead" doesn't take the opportunity to inject some humanity into a techno-babble line of exposition and merely stares into a monitor screen instead.

Seriously, this is what passes for post-worthy these days?

Watch that bit again and pay attention to when he moves to the monitor right at the top... that's pure apathy, baby. I'm not talking about the character, I'm talking about the actor.

And yes, there's worse Sci-Fi writing out there, and the sets aren't bad... but I couldn't tell you a goddamn thing about those three characters souls from that clip. Which is something you can't say about a scene of BSG, Heroes, or even Bionic Woman- which for the record I've only ever have seen scenes of. Still grok the characters, tho'.

TheN

booimaspectre

Not to mention it looks like they picked a pretty dull clip to show. No sense of character for any of the three; hardly any situational premise; a thinly-veiled conflict that falls apart about as easy as it starts when he knocks the gun out of her hands.

A different clip probably would have served as a much better advertisement. This one falls into the plodding, poorly-thought-out B-movie range.

futurpunk

Annalee Newitz

cyr3n

cyr3n

joemono

ShockTerminal

Thank you haters for turding the efforts of 5 fellow sci-fi fans. Lumping us in with fanboi mill pr0n-fi is great encouragement for other indie filmmakers pursuing this genre. You're the reason there's nothing new out there, not the sci-fi channel. So go suck an egg.. while you're up there.. waiting to get laid. ;p

cyr3n

tezby

Moeskido

Except Resident Evil sucked in a GOOD way.

Scooter

That's probably related to what DangerousDac said. If the director had stepped in and made the actors deliver their lines faster, so there was less dead "wait for the next line" time, I think the acting wouldn't grate on me so much. Of course, it'll still need a writer who speaks like a human.

napthia9

Besides it's not that much worse than Red Dwarf (flame shield at maximum sir!)

Epaminondas

Ya, after the line "It's locked" and "So what do we do?" I literally heard the "porn groove" start up.

Seriously, this was not only written bad but acted worse.

ShockTerminal

Personally I feel alot of "poor acting" lies on the responsibility of the director, it my philosophy that the director needs to push the actors into the scene, not just ask them politely to stand where they are and read from a script.

Personally I'd love a shot at making something like this, because these are the kind of shows which can test the waters, much like Space Above and Beyond, if we hadnt had that show, do you think we'd get Battlestar Galactica the way it is now?

DangerousDac

But those few moments? Godawful. The acting and the writing combined together into a big moment of suck. The thing that leapt out at me?

When the square-head guy is beating the deaf girl, the actress playing the sidekick doesn't know what her character should be doing- so she thrashes around like a six-year old that needs to use the toilet.

t3knomanser

c0dek

Niteowl

Darkweave

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ACTING!

Rybanis

Xanthur

Plague

Waelwulf

The dialog though.... eeep!

Log1c

rocza

PeteRR

Charlie Jane Anders

This is just awful. And I am not talking about the low-budget set.

Spyr0

I think SCIFI will be ok with Sanctuary...

MrBodyMassageMachine

joemono

Blurg.

How exactly is this Firefly influeced? Firefly has great writing.

darcymcgee

Plague

kp

KernelPanic