You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again - io9 Comments

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

Sharpless — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 16:22:07 PST

You know, when I initially heard that stupid Soulja Boy song, I thought he was saying "Spiderman," which would've made a lot more sense.

You know, web-shooters and... uh, nevermind.

Sharpless

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

Szin — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 23:13:29 PST

I trust everyone here has been to Superdickery.com

[www.superdickery.com]

Szin

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

Micing — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 19:49:37 PST

@JennaW: Yeah, people who feel the need to degrade someone are not relationship material. I agree with your universe, it's time to sharpen some knives and take action for the good of future generations.

Micing

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

Poormojo — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 15:16:44 PST

South Quad sounds just as classy these days as it was when I went to school there. Whoever thought it was a good idea to put the jocks and the honors students in the same housing deserves some sort of Natural selection award.

Poormojo

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

Citizen Kang — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 14:22:05 PST

@ComicDork:

When I bust a nut it slams with such force that, not only does it stick, it makes a dent. Early meso-Americans used my stuff to join pelts together for housing.

Citizen Kang

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

engtech — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 14:19:25 PST

btw, there's probably a post to be made about sci-fi sounding terms redefined in urban dictionary.

engtech

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

engtech — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 14:16:56 PST

"I'm still trying to work "santorum" into my vocab."

sadly, I had no problem working that one in.

engtech

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

Citizen Kang — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 14:10:33 PST

@apronk:

"I disagree. I think back-jizzing is way lame and stinks of lack of effort and creativity. Face, hair, armpits, toes, and butt crack all sound way more practical in a "marking the bitch as a ho" sense to me."

If there's any justice in this world you've got a single sister...

Citizen Kang

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

grenacia — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 12:50:19 PST

@MeepsZoR:
Well, guys who come on sleeping girls' backs probably aren't making a lot of genetic contributions either.

grenacia

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

SeeingI — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 12:47:33 PST

That seems more like something teenage boys would THINK would work but actually wouldn't.

SeeingI

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

braak — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 12:38:57 PST

@GenXCub: Oh. Good!

braak

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

JennaW — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 11:21:30 PST

Note to self: never date a man with the emotional maturity of a potty-training-resistant three-year-old.

Also, in my universe, that's a castrating offense right there, boys. Anyone who has that little respect for another human should not be equipped to create more of them.

JennaW

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

GenXCub — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 10:57:45 PST

Braak, just to follow up on the Santorum thing, yes it was named after Rick Santorum (lube and fecal matter). It was coined by sex columnist Dan Savage a few years back to get back at Santorum for his hate speech to gays.

GenXCub

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

Defendant — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 10:50:36 PST

@ComicDork: A friend of mine told me he nut on his girlfriend's back once, when she was asleep, for apparently no reason, and when she woke up the blanket was stuck to her back.

Defendant

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

apronk — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 10:42:24 PST

@Tim Faulkner: Just keep a heads up for an verb by the name of "apronk" in the urban dictionary. ha.

apronk

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

tr1ck — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 10:26:29 PST

@apronk: WOW. I'm not sure if i don't want to know. Perhaps we could call this unnamed move the Mystique, because you wake up sticky and how that happened is a mystery...

tr1ck

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

Tim Faulkner — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 10:22:02 PST

@apronk: Oh, but I do. I do.

Tim Faulkner

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

MeepsZoR — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 10:17:24 PST

lighten up people. just because it's in a stupid song doesnt meant that we should all go superman-ing our ho's. When you saw superman in the theater for the first time, did you go home and try to fly from your roof? One kid did... he's no longer eligible to donate his genetic code to the rest of humanity. Nuff said...

MeepsZoR

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

apronk — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 10:16:13 PST

@Tim Faulkner: Very true. What you don't want to know is, what I do to my husband in his sleep when he turns *me* down. ;)

apronk

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

taxbaby — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 10:13:25 PST

@zeppelined: I think there's probably a general rule that jerking off on someone's back while they're sleeping as revenge for their not boning you is Not A Nice Thing To Do. Maybe you move in different circles than I do.

taxbaby

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

taxbaby — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 10:09:48 PST

... and that's why all those dudes doing the 'Crank That' dance are suckers.
Or assholes.

taxbaby

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

Tim Faulkner — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 10:03:09 PST

@DrLocrian: I was saying he was all kinds of degrading, not creative. It comes natural to him without thinking about it. But it would appear creative to apronk's husband. (No offense to apronk or her husband.)

Tim Faulkner

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

Ed Grabianowski — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 09:48:51 PST

@B: Well...ok. But again, girl says no to sex, fine. Then she goes to sleep apparently naked in your presence. And yet still the relationship can not bear the strain of a little illicit back spooge.

I mean, it's not like sneaking up on a sleeping girl and giving her a Dirty Sanchez.

Ed Grabianowski

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

DrLocrian — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 09:47:38 PST

@Tim Faulkner: You kind of did say he was creative:

"Don't worry, if you want more creative degradation, I'm sure Soulja Boy is willing to oblige."

Anyway, I stand corrected. Superman is the most subversive, imagistically brilliant in-joke to come along in many a blue moon. Pure genius. No one dumb could have come up with that.

This is all in good fun, too, I must add.

DrLocrian

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

MercuryPDX — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 09:44:26 PST

@extracrispy: Dito. I had to look up "Strawberry Shortcake" and that's the first place I went.

MercuryPDX

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

Jeff-Minor — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 09:41:58 PST

Isn't there a legal issue here, aside from the porn? I suggest that Superman falls under the heading of Public Domain material and can be used by anyone who wants to. And they should be able to make money also, without paying a license fee to anyone. After a while, an image like Superman becomes iconic and part of the common culture. DC has no right to prevent the use of the the Superman image by anyone for any reason. I wonder if the Creative Commons Copyright Crowd would agree?

Jeff-Minor

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

dead_red_eyes — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 09:38:24 PST

@ComicDork: - "+ Semen doesn't have that sort of adhesive strength. Paper? yes. A sheet? No."

Obviously you've never nutted in a girls hair before.

dead_red_eyes

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

Tim Faulkner — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 09:37:06 PST

@DrLocrian: I didn't say Soulja Boy was creative, I said the phrase "Superman" was creative.

Tim Faulkner

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

Tim Faulkner — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 09:35:14 PST

@apronk: Yes, which is why I doubt he knew Richard Stallman and several Senators would be Supermanning.

Tim Faulkner

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

DrLocrian — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 09:34:38 PST

If he didn't originate it, how creative can it be?

DrLocrian

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

Wed, 20 Feb 2008 09:33:27 PST

@zeppelined: You do it when she's sleeping. Like if she says "I'm to tired" and goes to sleep without nookie.

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

apronk — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 09:30:29 PST

@Tim Faulkner: I think Soulja Boy is well aware of his target demographic and who pays his mortgage via cd's and iTunes.

apronk

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

Tim Faulkner — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 09:27:36 PST

@DrLocrian: @apronk: I don't think I or anyone was suggesting that Soulja Boy is "destroying The System" or that it's humorous. Sad really. The lyrics were intended for those who know, but the dance and beat had obvious broader appeal. Clearly whatever System you speak of has major problems already if it dances to a song for a year before paying attention to the lyrics. I'm merely saying that finding it crude, obscene, or dumb cannot diminish the creativity of it. Btw, Soulja Boy certainly didn't originate it, just made it popular.

Tim Faulkner

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

Pwnieboy — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 09:21:51 PST

To... many.. funny... posts... can't... stop... laughing...

Pwnieboy

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

Gann — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 09:21:03 PST

@extracrispy: Thanks for that

Gann

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

Katana_Mind — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 09:19:27 PST

He also sings "aquaman that ho". Don't nobody care about how Aquaman feels?

And, before you ask:
"Aquamanning that ho" consists of fucking a ho from behind in a bathroom setting. To be more specific directly over the toilet bowl with a functioning flush mechanism. Immediately before ejaculation you slam that ho's head into the toilet water and proceed to flush during the skeeting process."

Two behaviours that for years have been incorporated into my casual sex life, and now I finally have words for them.
Thank you, Soulja Boy.

Katana_Mind

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

apronk — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 09:17:40 PST

@DrLocrian: Agreed. There are some possibly sketchy secret definitions for Electric Slide too but I'm not gasping and laughing at all the middle-aged women singing along and dancing to it at weddings.

It's kind of like that stupid dork joke. "Hey Joe did you know that 'dork' is also the name for a whale's penis? Ha, jokes on you, buddy!"

btw I hope everyone here knows that I'm just having some fun conversation and not really being very serious about any of this.

apronk

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

DrLocrian — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 09:10:42 PST

Creative, maybe. But it's still dumb. Wow, you're really destroying The System by getting people to say unintentionally obscene things.

DrLocrian

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

Dr. Spaceman, Esq. — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 09:10:41 PST

+ Semen doesn't have that sort of adhesive strength. Paper? yes. A sheet? No.

I wouldn't be so sure.

Dr. Spaceman, Esq.

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

Tim Faulkner — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 09:09:03 PST

@apronk: because then "Superman" wouldn't make sense, and you wouldn't have little kids across America doing it? Don't worry, if you want more creative degradation, I'm sure Soulja Boy is willing to oblige. Don't know how that makes a phrase that is comically and imagistically brilliant and which makes many go, "OMG, OMG, I had no idea" stupid and uncreative.

Tim Faulkner

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

Little Time Bomb — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 09:07:35 PST

Wow, CLASSY!

Little Time Bomb

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

apronk — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 09:04:00 PST

@Tim Faulkner: But if you're going for the gold (spreading it across the land and such) why not make it as naughty as possible?

apronk

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

Tim Faulkner — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 08:58:41 PST

@Tim Faulkner: sorry "can't say"

Tim Faulkner

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

mitchel_stevens — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 08:57:22 PST

who cares about superman? what about Robocop?

mitchel_stevens

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

Tim Faulkner — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 08:54:48 PST

@apronk: Urban Dictionary can be as accurate as Wikipedia, as in not accurate.

I think Soulja Boy is stupid, but no, I can say the phrase is stupid or uncreative. Not only is it brilliantly creative, it's become subversively mainstream with schoolteachers teaching it to children, politicians, and the unaware rapping and performing the dance with ignorant glee. Got to give it props.

Tim Faulkner

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

zerofritz — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 08:51:33 PST

That spinning sound that you hear? That'll be Superman creators Joe Shuster and Jerry Siegel in their graves.

I think they, legally, can only roll over in their graves if you "Superboy that ho"

zerofritz

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

apronk — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 08:47:44 PST

@COMICDORK, very true. I mean, especially if she rolls over and sleeps on her back - that fitted sheet just ain't coming off.

apronk

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

braak — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 08:46:45 PST

@Oxfordian: Well, we've got regular dictionaries to define all the other words.

braak

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

ComicDork — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 08:46:29 PST

Urban legend. yet another sex act folks talk about but no one has verifiably done.

+ Semen doesn't have that sort of adhesive strength. Paper? yes. A sheet? No.

ComicDork

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

apronk — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 08:44:17 PST

@Tim, it's the full definition @ Urban Dictionary for "Superman" - I was going from that perspective. Apparently just plain "Superman" is different from "Superman dat hoe".

Still, you gotta admit, it's a pretty stupid term. Still shows lack of creativity I think.

apronk

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

extracrispy — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 08:42:47 PST

@Oxfordian: That's all I use Urban Dictionary for. How else am I going to find out what "space docking" is?

extracrispy

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

Tim Faulkner — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 08:40:48 PST

@apronk: And yet you think it makes sense that Soulja Boy's brand of braggadocio, or anyone's for that matter, is all, "I couldn't convince your girlfriend to sleep with me so I masturbated on her back instead.... OH!"? Does not compute.

Tim Faulkner

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

Oxfordian — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 08:39:01 PST

Is it just me or is Urban Dictionary around simply to catalog various degrading sex acts originating mostly in the minds of sexually confused and/or deprived adolescents?

Oxfordian

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

apronk — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 08:35:37 PST

@Tim, I disagree. I think back-jizzing is way lame and stinks of lack of effort and creativity. Face, hair, armpits, toes, and butt crack all sound way more practical in a "marking the bitch as a ho" sense to me.

apronk

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

Welt am Draht — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 08:35:35 PST

Yuck.

Please forgive us, Superman!

Welt am Draht

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

extracrispy — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 08:35:03 PST

@dead_red_eyes and braak: Really, you have to see the website for maximum effect:

[www.spreadingsantorum.com]

extracrispy

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

NefariousNewt — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 08:33:07 PST

One word: aghast.

NefariousNewt

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

cmg — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 08:27:34 PST

@dead_red_eyes: thanks for the AM gag. glad i'm not eating anytime soon.

cmg

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

Tim Faulkner — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 08:25:09 PST

@apronk: Uh, no. The point is: she is a hoe. Supermanning is to degrade her and mark her as such.

Tim Faulkner

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

braak — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 08:24:16 PST

@dead_red_eyes: That sounds like Rick Santorum, all right. Isn't it supposed to be some kind sex act, too...?

braak

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

ManchuCandidate — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 08:20:56 PST

Superman now has a taste of how the long forgotten Comic Book Hero, Cleveland Steamer, feels?

ManchuCandidate

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

apronk — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 08:20:48 PST

@zeppelined, they left out the part about the girl originally not wanting to have sex with you so the man waits until she's asleep and jacks off onto her back. Supposedly that's how it goes. As a girl it seems like my husband could come up with a million other things to do to me for no-sex-revenge than something stupid like this anyway.

apronk

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

dead_red_eyes — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 08:16:09 PST

@braak:

Google says:

Santorum:

1. The frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex.

dead_red_eyes

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

dead_red_eyes — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 08:14:58 PST

"when you cum on a girls back and then stick the sheets to her, so when she wakes up in the morning she has a cape."

LOL! Never heard that before!

Man ... that's just as bad as the main protagonist in Henry Millers "Under the Roof of Paris" where out of spite, he wipes his dick on this girls curtains after they have sex.

o_O

dead_red_eyes

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

Ed Grabianowski — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 08:13:57 PST

I'm just trying to envision a scenario in which a girl would be fine with me doing her doggie style, but feels I've totally crossed the line when I come on her back.

Ed Grabianowski

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

Tim Faulkner — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 08:13:34 PST

Huh? They're pissed about the t-shirt but not the song that millions of 4 year olds know word for word and dance to daily?

Tim Faulkner

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

braak — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 08:11:18 PST

@zeppelined: Well, presumably you don't tell her, because if she knew she had jizz on her back, like any sensible human being, she'd wipe it off.

@moncapitaine: What is "Santorum" supposed to mean? Is it named after Rick Santorum? Wouldn't that just be a closet homosexual?

braak

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

moncapitaine — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 08:09:25 PST

Are we that desperate for new sex terms? I'm still trying to work "santorum" into my vocab.

moncapitaine

You Will Never Want to Tug on Superman's Cape Again

Ed Grabianowski — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 08:09:01 PST

How exactly is that non-consensual? She'd rather get it in the eye?

Ed Grabianowski