If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed - io9 Comments

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

outsdr — Sat, 08 Mar 2008 14:27:07 PST

I don't see the penises.

outsdr

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

MickyK — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 17:16:43 PST

I don't know about you guys, but I just saw the trailer on youtube and it was mega stellar. Way better than the abomination of SM4 and Meet the Spartans. When you look at those comercials, you just kind of chuckle. When I saw the Superhero Movie trailer, I actually laughed

MickyK

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

Marcus — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 08:31:17 PST

Mel Brooks is no savior. I point you to Dracula: Dead and Loving It, Men in Tights (be honest), and Life Stinks (any movie where IMDb says: If you liked this, our database also recommends "Son in Law"...). His time has passed.

I'm afraid the Zuckers (Airplane!) are no help either. David directed Scary Movies 3 and 4 and is producing, yes, this movie.

The next good parody movie will come from an unknown. This right here is some bullshit.

Marcus

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

napthia9 — Sun, 02 Mar 2008 11:28:00 PST

I've been pleasantly surprised recently by comedies I thought would be dumb and unpleasant to watch, so I'm inclined to give all dumbass movies a pass for the next few weeks.

However, I will not see this godawful schlock.

napthia9

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

DrWest — Sun, 02 Mar 2008 11:23:46 PST

Bad? How could it possibly be bad with Drake Bell in the leading role?!

DrWest

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

Stcoop — Sun, 02 Mar 2008 08:05:42 PST

Not another film with Leslie Nielsen in it he has too be about 90.

Stcoop

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

HeavyMellow — Sun, 02 Mar 2008 03:38:37 PST

I've feared for the fate of our species far before this movie.... hell I would say we've been doomed for at least a decade.

My suggestion just roll with it. There really isn't anything the few of us can really do to change it now.

HeavyMellow

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

N3v3r.kNows.b3st. — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 17:09:15 PST

DEATH TO THE FRANCHISE!!!!!!!!!
anyone agree?

N3v3r.kNows.b3st.

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

OtakuboyT — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 10:13:15 PST

Mel Brooks where are you when we need you?

OtakuboyT

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

OMGLAZERS — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 09:55:05 PST

All I know is that I want that 'hot bitches' shirt

OMGLAZERS

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

cde — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 01:03:45 PST

@iJake: Exactly. Bring back the old National Lampoon parodies, or the Mel Brooks parodies (like Men in tights)

cde

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

MonkeyT — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 20:36:30 PST

@Ghede: "Make fun of the movie all you want, but do not trash Leslie Nielson. He was in Naked Gun."

He was also in "2001: A Space Travesty" and "RePossessed". He gets no free passes anymore.

MonkeyT

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

cde — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 18:58:52 PST

Damn it. We need parodies of Airplane standards, not this crap. And meet he spartans, if there isn't a single caketown joke in there...

cde

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

tetracycloide — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 16:07:22 PST

@Ghede: and?

tetracycloide

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

Klappstuhl — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 15:28:03 PST

@iJake: Petition Time?

Klappstuhl

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

iJake — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 14:06:25 PST

Craig Mazin is behind this trash... he also happens to be involved in part of a trifecta that's wholly/partially responsible for the following gems (the other two being Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg, who are much MUCH more responsible for this shit):

Scary Movie 1
Scary Movie 2
Scary Movie 3
Scary Movie 4
Date Movie
Meet the Spartans
Epic Movie
Spy Hard

Someone needs to keep these idiots from ever getting near a film set again.

iJake

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

btgoss — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 13:40:29 PST

This look like it might make Mystery Men seem like an actually funny movie.... and that is oh so hard since MM is swathed in the fetid stench of Stiller Failure...

btgoss

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

Klappstuhl — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 13:27:56 PST

Sadly, it will make a fortune. And yes, we are doomed.

Fleeing to Mars, brb.

Klappstuhl

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

EDread83 — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 13:05:12 PST

@tazo: its the same actress that was in all scary movie movies

EDread83

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

Sharpless — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 12:50:53 PST

I don't mind the occasional dumb movie like this. I think they're a little too frequent and low-quality these days, but I suppose that'll happen from time to time. This one doesn't look too awful, though. Relatively speaking.

However, yes, the poster is atrocious.

Sharpless

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

tazo — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 12:49:06 PST

OMG, who is playing fake Storm?

tazo

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

antimatty — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 12:45:02 PST

this is why America will soon cease to be a superpower, because her shores are filled with degenerates and idiots.

antimatty

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

KraZe — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 12:40:41 PST

DOTS
EVERYWHERE

KraZe

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

Loserface — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 12:17:02 PST

@Garrison Dean:
"Wolverine's Bar Mitzvah
Sharpy, pointy
Boys becoming X-Men,
X-Men becoming wolves."

Loserface

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

Loserface — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 12:15:30 PST

My dad loves superheroes and stupid movies so he's really excited for this...

Sigh...

This is what happens with old age.

Loserface

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

SuperUnison — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 12:11:33 PST

I think this movie and it's ilk are good because they prepare us for our inevitable collapse into being a 3rd World Consumer Dystopia like "Idiocracy" (but with higher infant mortality) which is still preferrable to the "Children of Men" future we could have been spiralling towards.

@Plague: That's also why Dane Cook and Family Guy exist.

SuperUnison

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

MrBodyMassageMachine — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 11:49:37 PST

MR. BODY MASSAGE MACHINE....GO!

All these movies (Scarey Move, Teen Movie, Date Movie, etc...) are all good for a few laughs but are never "good". My problem with these movies is, that after 2, 3 years, they will no longer hold up because they are packed with pop culture references that will not be relevant in a few years. That's why Airplane! is so awesome, it's comedy that stands the test of time.

GO!

MrBodyMassageMachine

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

WordMan — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 11:37:18 PST

According to imdb, Brent Spiner and Keith David are in this movie.

game set and match.

WordMan

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

phoenix — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 11:26:13 PST

Not enough rake thin women with huge boobs to make this movie a success for the fans, I don't think. Need more than one! ;)

(I kid, it'll probably be a cult favorite in about 5 years.)

phoenix

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

Citizen Kang — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 11:10:35 PST

Yes, it's been pretty much pre-ordained that this movie will suck huge. We all know it. That being said, who doesn't want a t-shirt that says "With great power comes hot bitches"? I'd pay for that if I could get it in a Navy or Oxford gray.

Citizen Kang

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

EBone — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 11:06:40 PST

We all agree this movie will suck (or blow, depending on your preferences). So let's get on to something better.

What is YOUR Gawker superhero identity, and what are his/her special powers?

EBone

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

Eldragon — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 10:52:47 PST

Critical analysis of comedy films are doomed to fail. If it makes you laugh, who cares? What makes a 10 year old girl laugh is different from what makes a 20 year old guy, and that is still different from a 60 year old woman.

Eldragon

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

dirtybacon — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 10:47:44 PST

oh... and I am a ticking time bomb of fury.

dirtybacon

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

EDread83 — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 10:46:07 PST

@Plague: yeah that is what family guy does

@inakizombie: Mystery Men was a fine movie for comic fans but we are not exactly the group they are targeting with this film. This film is for the people who have little to no knowledge of the comic realm. I mean you can tell us about a guy with a funny haircut that has claws and a metal skeleton and we are like "Hell yeah thats awesome" but joe shmo is like "WTF?!?!" This movie is for them. I am not saying comic fans wont like it, some will, but the movie is really more for the average person.

EDread83

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

dirtybacon — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 10:43:25 PST

Yes, this WILL be terrible, and I regret its existence, but just look at Tracy's face!! How can you not want to see that??

Tracy Morgan is comedy gold.

dirtybacon

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

Ghede — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 10:41:46 PST

Make fun of the movie all you want, but do not trash Leslie Nielson. He was in Naked Gun.

Ghede

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

Angryrider — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 10:31:18 PST

NOOO!!! THERE IS NO JUSTICE!!!

Angryrider

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

Plague — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 10:30:32 PST

My problem with these films is that they don't even TRY to be funny. They just think throwin' in some random cultural references and presenting the characters in a situation they don't belong in equals teh funny.
Well, it doesn't.
And they don't care.
Because the maroons who will be watching this in-between text messages don't care either.

Plague

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

Garrison Dean, King Awesome — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 10:20:42 PST

@92BuickLeSabre: Answer... you can't.

Garrison Dean, King Awesome

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

92BuickLeSabre — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 10:12:47 PST

@Garrison Dean: X just wants to hold a mirror up to society and then win world record for biggest mirror!

How can you argue with any Professor that believes the moon doesn't exist, that vampires are the world's greatest golfers but their curse is that they'll never get to prove it, and that there are 31 letters in the white alphabet.

92BuickLeSabre

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

Gopherit — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 10:09:26 PST

@Seth L: Exactly. I pity those who can't ttell the difference between MM and this schlock.

Gopherit

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

extracrispy — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 10:05:28 PST

I had no idea this was being released by the Weinstein Company. I thought they only did Merchant Ivory flicks?

extracrispy

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

Seth L — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 10:04:47 PST

@the earl of weaver:

No, just some of us love it. There's dozens of us dozens!

Seth L

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

steven522 — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 10:02:51 PST

@inakizombie: "I am the sh-pleen. Pull my finger."

steven522

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

codydog — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 10:02:33 PST

@EDread83: Looks like a two dollar movie, although they have just raised their price to $2.50, so this one is getting a little dicey.

codydog

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

the earl of weaver — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 09:57:34 PST

@Gopherit: um... did you see a different "mystery men" than me?

the earl of weaver

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

inakizombie — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 09:56:24 PST

@EDread83: True, but there are far better examples of movies that are shut-your-brain-off fun while still managing to be in any way good. Mystery Men comes to mind. They even managed to have a major character entirely revolve around fart jokes and still make it funny.

inakizombie

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

SunZhiQian — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 09:54:00 PST

Do not want!

SunZhiQian

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

jrghoull — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 09:53:17 PST

wow...thats the worst poster i've ever seen. its like someone who took a photoshop tutorial had a half hour to throw something together.

quick question: what the heck is "meet the spartans???" is that real? i've never heard of it

btw: these movies will keep coming out as long as they make money. and according to idiocracy, this will probably make money.

jrghoull

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

Gopherit — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 09:49:54 PST

Wow, it's like Mystery Men without the talent or humor.

Gopherit

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

Garrison Dean, King Awesome — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 09:48:43 PST

You had me at Tracy Morgan as Professor X. Yo I love cerebro so much I'm gonna take it behind the middle school and get it pregnant.

Garrison Dean, King Awesome

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

Annalee Newitz — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 09:47:45 PST

I like underwear jokes.

Annalee Newitz

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

Ed Grabianowski — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 09:47:43 PST

I don't know, the Cerebro-beer-hat is pretty ace. :-)

Ed Grabianowski

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

deckard97 — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 09:47:09 PST

If Leslie Nielsen (Forbidden Planet (1956) .... Commander Adams) can't be in a sci-fi movie, then who can? However I'll wait until it comes on Pay Per View.

deckard97

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

demonwolf — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 09:46:17 PST

will watch

demonwolf

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

EDread83 — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 09:44:58 PST

I think people need dumb movies like this. With all the stuff going on in the world we need movies like this where we can just sit and let the brain cells die, besides we have been doomed for a long time now.

EDread83