<![CDATA[A Survival Guide to Bad Scifi Movies - io9 Comments]]> <![CDATA[A Survival Guide to Bad Scifi Movies - io9 Comments]]> <![CDATA[A Survival Guide to Bad Scifi Movies]]> You alll missed one thing...ANY movie tht Sci Fi shows on Satruday nights..should be avoided..

oldandintheway

]]> <![CDATA[A Survival Guide to Bad Scifi Movies]]> If there's a hot-air ballon. (Quoth Roger Ebert: "Good movies rarely contain a hot-air balloon.")

Hmmmm...guess he doesn't much like Wizard of Oz or Mysterious Island.

Cantonkid

]]> <![CDATA[A Survival Guide to Bad Scifi Movies]]> @Sharpless: I guess I'm probably different then most fanboys in that I actually kinda like Shia Lebouf and find him pretty funny - most of the first half actually cracked me up (the part in sam's room/ the music with the car). I guess when the Transformers introduced themselves and John Turturro showed up I started to lose interest. Since I went in with such low expectations I really enjoyed myself. It's hard to say that the movie wasn't entertaining though. I found for the most part that newcomers to Transformers (me included) liked the movie more than die-hards, and I think if you made it more akin to the cartoon it would've bombed at the box office.

PVIII

]]> <![CDATA[A Survival Guide to Bad Scifi Movies]]> @Sharpless: I just have problems saying "purist" when there's no real continuity for the franchise. Maybe recognition of such makes me a purist?

Gospel X

]]> <![CDATA[A Survival Guide to Bad Scifi Movies]]> @PVIII: Actually, my beef with the Transformers movie was that it had no charm. The original cartoon often had terrible writing and relatively low-quality animation, but at least it was enjoyable and charming. Bay's film was an okay popcorn flick, but it mostly fell flat. Particularly the humor, such as it was. And frankly, the cartoon did have better characters.

@edosan: The makers of MST3K have actually said many times that they don't endorse people going to movie theaters and shouting at the movies. Kevin Murphy, the man most will know as Tom Servo, would absolutely destroy you for it, in fact.

@Gospel X: Well, if you won't call yourself a Transformers purist, then I'll do it myself: I'm a Transformers purist. I'm not ashamed. I love the franchise. :)

Sharpless

]]> <![CDATA[A Survival Guide to Bad Scifi Movies]]> You also forgot the "directed by Uwe Boll" rule...but then again, if you saw the words "Uwe Boll", you probably wouldn't have even gone anywhere near the theater.

TripAZ

]]> <![CDATA[A Survival Guide to Bad Scifi Movies]]> @ndokiman: Speaking of Michael Ironside - he was supposed to be in some tv show called 'Ice Planet' but I never heard about it again. Anyway you guys at io9 could look into it?

PVIII

]]> <![CDATA[A Survival Guide to Bad Scifi Movies]]> @Garrison Dean: Eh, I guess I also come off strong when it comes to that particular film. Personally, I think a person should be accepted for the merits of enjoying what others (those in the space of a conversation, at least) might consider a bad film. I grew up on Star Wars, Godzilla, Transformers, and VOLTRON. No accounting for my taste, that's for sure. My DVD collection includes Fritz the Cat.

There's just something about Bay's Transformers that left me venomous. I've disliked movies before. I've disliked WORSE movies. But I guess this movie is the first one to hit my annoying fanboy nerve. (I refuse to call myself a Transformers "purist", since there's no way that would make any sense.)

Gospel X

]]> <![CDATA[A Survival Guide to Bad Scifi Movies]]> @Gospel X: Yes, but it had explosions and fighting robots.

If I want story, dialogue and film making, I'll go see No Country for Old Men, which was great, but alas, only one explosion and no robots fighting. If I want the best possible blow'em'ups I go to Michael Bay.

But thats my last word on that. My constant fighting with fellow film nerds all last summer has left me tired and beaten, I can't get dragged into another discussion on why I loved "Transformers" and my thesis on how I enjoy movies based on what they tell me they're gonna give me vs. what I get. I yield.

Garrison Dean, King Awesome

]]> <![CDATA[A Survival Guide to Bad Scifi Movies]]> @Garrison Dean: To be fair, those toys have been used to make very interesting storylines in various comic book incarnations. For anyone familiar with the decent storylines, the movie was a bet of a letdown. Not that I can say the comics were anywhere near Shakespeare themselves...

Wait, to be honest, anyone familiar with decent storylines, dialogue, and film making could tell you that the movie was pretty horrid.

Gospel X

]]> <![CDATA[A Survival Guide to Bad Scifi Movies]]> You forgot the inclusion of Michael Ironside in "A few signs of a bad movie"

ndokiman

]]> <![CDATA[A Survival Guide to Bad Scifi Movies]]> I remember the poster that was up in my local movie theatre for the first Matrix movie was basically three people standing around looking "cool" in sunglasses. I saw that (knowing nothing about the movie) and thought it would suck. I avoided the movie for a year or so, until someone insisted I rent the video. Not too sucky.

grenacia

]]> <![CDATA[A Survival Guide to Bad Scifi Movies]]> @Annalee Newitz: I just watched it on USA or whatever and loved how they threw away all the things that made Doom awesome! Regardless, I still wanted to go to the movie and shout the cheat codes!

Log1c

]]> <![CDATA[A Survival Guide to Bad Scifi Movies]]> great -
now my face is peeing!
kudos.

Rev. Eaton Yorke Hunt

]]> <![CDATA[A Survival Guide to Bad Scifi Movies]]> Sunglasses in the poster. If human adults are wearing them, it's bad.
So... the Terminator movies?

rocza

]]> <![CDATA[A Survival Guide to Bad Scifi Movies]]> @Log1c: What are you talking about? The Doom movie was awesome.

Annalee Newitz

]]> <![CDATA[A Survival Guide to Bad Scifi Movies]]> @tetracycloide: heh heh... you said tit.

Garrison Dean, King Awesome

]]> <![CDATA[A Survival Guide to Bad Scifi Movies]]> @Garrison Dean: ohhhhh i get it now, transformers didn't just have an irredeemable director it also had an irredeemable premise...

the problem with transformers was never that it had no real plot or character development it was that the titular characters were extras in their own god damn movie.

tetracycloide

]]> <![CDATA[A Survival Guide to Bad Scifi Movies]]> I'm getting hammered and going to see Never Back Down in a few weeks.


+ Watch video

best. plan. ever.



PVIII

]]> <![CDATA[A Survival Guide to Bad Scifi Movies]]> I get that this post was done in jest, but anything that encourages people to talk out loud during movies boils my blood. That shit ain't funny!

Can't we leave the snark at Gawker?

extracrispy

]]> <![CDATA[A Survival Guide to Bad Scifi Movies]]> @Garrison Dean: NO! *bam!* (eight minutes later...)

Sherilyn Connelly

]]> <![CDATA[A Survival Guide to Bad Scifi Movies]]> You forgot the cardinal rule "If roller skates figure prominently, it will be a suckathon of epic proportions (See Solarbabies and Prayer for the Roller Boys")

Gopherit

]]> <![CDATA[A Survival Guide to Bad Scifi Movies]]> @jonathan29: This only works if you have a consensual agreement with the crowd. Do not attempt in a crowded theater of strangers! We take no responsibility if you are crushed by angry fans.

Annalee Newitz

]]> <![CDATA[A Survival Guide to Bad Scifi Movies]]> @Sherilyn Connelly: Are you implying that Rowdy Roddy Piper doesn't have 'tude?! I will fight a woman Sherilyn... Now PUT ON THE GLASSES!!!

Garrison Dean, King Awesome

]]> <![CDATA[A Survival Guide to Bad Scifi Movies]]> Ah yes. Just what the "go to a movie to loudly discuss anything that pops into my fat fucking head" crowd needs - a list of ways to be an even more annoying asshole. Kudos.

jonathan29

]]> <![CDATA[A Survival Guide to Bad Scifi Movies]]> How bout we just don't expect every Sci-Fi movie to change the world? Because that would be fantastic to me. I'd hear less bitching about OMG THAT MOVIE WAS HORRIBLE! There was no character development, etc ,etc bitch, piss, moan. Get some fucking popcorn and enjoy shit getting blown up, or get out of the theater.

That being said though, getting drunk is a great way to make any movie enjoyable. I went to the Episode 1 premiere and some guy won some prize and he was noticeably tanked. I bet he thought EP1 was fantastic...

Also going to any video game movie and shouting the cheat codes is an excellent idea, especially infinite ammo when they are reloading, invincibility when they are hurt and noclip because flying through walls is fucking awesome.

I wanted to go see the Doom movie just to yell IDDQD, IDKFA, and IDCLIP(?)

Log1c

]]> <![CDATA[A Survival Guide to Bad Scifi Movies]]> In Hayden's defense, Shattered Glass really was quite good.@Garrison Dean: Yeah, Michael Bay makes military porn like no other (up there with Ridley Scott). At least you can give him that. Awesome pool!

PVIII

]]> <![CDATA[A Survival Guide to Bad Scifi Movies]]> @Chryss: Heh. If only we had Tom and Crow at our side, but we do the best we can. (And I fully admit the influence of MST3K, one of my favorite shows.)

Sherilyn Connelly

]]> <![CDATA[A Survival Guide to Bad Scifi Movies]]> I loves me some MST3K/Rifftrax/Film Crew/Cinematic Titanic, but if someone just felt the need to "loudly and insistently comment...sharing your feelings with your fellow oppressed audience members" when I was in the theater, there would be trouble.

Unsolicited riffing: not cool.

edosan

]]> <![CDATA[A Survival Guide to Bad Scifi Movies]]> @Garrison Dean: They Live is definitely an exception to that particular rule, and it also passes because the sunglasses are crucial to the plot and aren't just intended to show that the character has "attitude." i.e. Get Shorty, What's the Worst That Could Happen?, Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 (god help us), and Kangaroo Jack (there is no god).

Sherilyn Connelly

]]> <![CDATA[A Survival Guide to Bad Scifi Movies]]> Thank you. I thought my heckling skillz were up to par but now have have so much to aim for. One thing though, how exactly does one think someone for spouting exposition? Do heads explode?

I AM going to the Special Hell.

Grey_Area

]]> <![CDATA[A Survival Guide to Bad Scifi Movies]]> "If Hayden Christensen is involved."
QFMFT


Ourobolus

]]> <![CDATA[A Survival Guide to Bad Scifi Movies]]> This "list" is all kinds of fail.
The writers for Riff Trax/Cinematic Titanic should feel quite secure.

Plague

]]> <![CDATA[A Survival Guide to Bad Scifi Movies]]> @steven522: Isn't that, like, ALL his movies?

Guizzy

]]> <![CDATA[A Survival Guide to Bad Scifi Movies]]> Hmmmm, what about Unbreakable? I quite liked that movie and that has a swimming pool seen.

Maybe the fact that he was pushed into the pool gets that one off on a technicality?

bangoskank

]]> <![CDATA[A Survival Guide to Bad Scifi Movies]]> @PVIII: Thank you. I've been having that debate with several people who complained about Transformers. It often goes... "I hate Michael Bay, and Transformers had no real plot or character development."
to which I reply..
"Um yeah did you also notice that its based on an Action figure and is about robots fighting. And to quote Mr. Bay, Everything was AWESOME!"

Garrison Dean, King Awesome

]]> <![CDATA[A Survival Guide to Bad Scifi Movies]]> "if someone falls in a pool" - Uh so last night's episode of Terminator really gets screwed then?

In all seriousness, I somehow really enjoyed Transformers. I guess I just decided if you were making a movie about ROBOTS FROM OUTERSPACE THAT TRANSFORM INTO AUTOMOBILES AND HELICOPTERS AND A GIANT LAZER GUN you can't really expect Altman.

PVIII

]]> <![CDATA[A Survival Guide to Bad Scifi Movies]]> So I should avoid the movie who's poster shows Hayden looking over his sunglasses as he falls from a hot air balloon into someone's swimming pool in Venice Beach while desperately calling for help on his new iPhone?

steven522

]]> <![CDATA[A Survival Guide to Bad Scifi Movies]]> Actually, judging from the first list, the Transformers movie gets off pretty easy. Only one strike against, I believe. (Two, if you count one of the Autobots landing in/around a swimming pool, upon his initial descent to Earth.)

Sharpless

]]> <![CDATA[A Survival Guide to Bad Scifi Movies]]> It also helps if you show up at the movie theater with your two robot buddies.

Chryss

]]> <![CDATA[A Survival Guide to Bad Scifi Movies]]> Your Poster rules are way off.
[www.impawards.com]

Garrison Dean, King Awesome

]]> <![CDATA[A Survival Guide to Bad Scifi Movies]]> "If a baby or animal is looking over the top, it's a sign of the apocalypse"

HAHA

The whole thing is pretty funny

se7a7n7

]]> <![CDATA[A Survival Guide to Bad Scifi Movies]]> Face Pee. Thats all kinds of fantastic.

Metropolis

]]> <![CDATA[A Survival Guide to Bad Scifi Movies]]> *snrk*

Gummo Baldwin.

braak

]]>