Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW) - io9 Comments

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

cybergrunt — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 23:12:40 PDT

i can't believe my eyes or my ears :)

cybergrunt

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

Kounji — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 11:26:57 PDT

So it wasn't banned for being sucky

Kounji

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

Lieutenant 030 — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 06:54:29 PDT

cough*cough*cosmobells.blogspot.com*cough*cough

The full movie is a much worse experience than the clips may lead you to expect. Inept as comedy, inept as porn. Plus the only actual sexual act is a woman who's tied to a tree being penetrated with a rifle barrel, which, I dunno, seems to detract from the fun and zaniness of it all.

Lieutenant 030

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

newstarshipsmell — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 06:11:34 PDT

I like these "daleks"
[i32.tinypic.com]
[i30.tinypic.com]

@OnwardChristianLaettner: Thanks for the tip! One can never have too much Dalek porn...

newstarshipsmell

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

Jeff-Minor — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 05:48:05 PDT

@Zantor: Zantor, Roger that.

Actually, I don't think I should incriminate io9 in my sick and twisted fantasy. I just want to see the Robot's "power pack" pulled out, then pushed back in, over and over...

Jeff-Minor

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

Dier — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 02:32:38 PDT

This rocks!

Dier

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

Cantonkid — Sun, 16 Mar 2008 23:40:36 PDT

I'm not suprised it was banned....I am suprised by the Godzilla march they use as background music. If this was being sold on the open market I am assuming they got the rights to the music?!?! or not....

Lets see if this makes it into the season 4 storyline...or maybe Torchwood with an appearance by Captain Jack ;)

Cantonkid

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

giania — Sun, 16 Mar 2008 23:21:29 PDT

@92BuickLeSabre: You sir, have hit the nail squarely on the head.

that is high on the list of items running for the "most ridiculous thing I have ever seen" award.

giania

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

angryoaf — Sun, 16 Mar 2008 16:40:38 PDT

>_____________________>

Can't believe what I just saw.

angryoaf

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

Zantor — Sun, 16 Mar 2008 07:35:59 PDT

@Jeff-Minor: Just to make sue I'm clear on this:
io9 wants the 5x5 QT from the B9 to use KY for a 69?...

10-4!

Zantor

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

blurey — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 15:25:58 PDT

damn! i am so traumatized by the daleks, please don't ruin my feeble sex life with the images of these scary cyborgs!-blurey

blurey

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

Sharpless — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 13:06:46 PDT

That was disappointingly tame... but I'll assume that was due to not wanting to post any hardcore footage. I mean, I didn't even get to see them ejaculate out of their phallic little probe thingies.

Uh oh. I just imagined Tom Baker porn. NO. NO. BAD THOUGHT. BAD.

Sharpless

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

Mouser_UK — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 11:48:23 PDT

years a go the BBC used to produce chrismass tapes of mostly bloopers for internal use only.

Including a clip of a Dalek talking dirty to a VTR Machine

Mouser_UK

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

Jeff-Minor — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 07:10:22 PDT

@Charlie Jane Anders:

"Hello, Bill, This is io9, and we'd like to do an intervieiw....And would you be willing to let the Robot sodomize you, just for fun?"

"Sure, I could use the exposure."

"Warning Will Robinson, I am out of lube!"

I'll end it at that...ouch.

Jeff-Minor

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

Chompsky — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 05:52:20 PDT

I didn't experience any simultaneous "launch" issues while watching these clips. Unlike those Daleks.

Chompsky

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

Ghede — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 03:03:51 PDT

Bwahahaha! Hahahahahahaha! Hahahahahaha! Hahahahaha! Haaah... hahahahahahah! hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha... *gasp* haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahaha!

Oh crap. I just peed myself a little.

"DOM-I-NATE!"
"PEN-I-TRATE!"
"VI-BRATE!"
"E-JAC-U-LATE!"
"IN-SEM-I-NATE!"

The humor is endless, and that is completely ignoring the standard quality porn acting.

Ghede

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

Counterglow — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 02:52:26 PDT

"Insperminate!"

Counterglow

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

Zapp Brannigan's Girdle — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 21:30:07 PDT

Oh, why did this get sued out of existence before Cinemax picked up the Pay TV rights?

Zapp Brannigan's Girdle

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

Ed Grabianowski — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 21:11:01 PDT

Hehe, I posted a link to a news article about this in another thread a few days ago, but I'd never seen any actual footage. Brilliant. And hooray for natural boobs (though the girl in the third clip is a little suspect).

Can we get something from "The Erotic Time Machine" next?

Ed Grabianowski

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

cyr3n — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 21:08:38 PDT

*spr01ng* toilet plunger oralsecks.. what will they think of next.

cyr3n

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

Charlie Jane Anders — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 21:04:32 PDT

@goldfarb: Oh yeah I forgot to mention in my write-up... there's a minute-long bit where spacey music plays over a warning that there are strobe effects ahead. It's very surreal, esp. after it lingers on the screen for ages.

Charlie Jane Anders

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

Erin9 — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 20:48:22 PDT

I had no idea English women went hiking in stripper heels and stripped in forests for no discernible reason. My English friends have seriously been holding out on me.

Erin9

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

goldfarb — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 19:52:18 PDT

HAHAHAHAHAHA
I did a little search for this thing on the briancox...
this site is sellng it: [xploitedcinema.com]

and they have this warning -

"WARNING: This film contains nudity and some strong scenes - especially in the second part of the feature. /This film also contains some strobing effects/."

goldfarb

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

MongoLikeCandy — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 18:51:42 PDT

Anyone who enjoyed this may want to try to dig up a copy of Dr. Loo and the Phaleks.

MongoLikeCandy

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

ElRodente — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 18:34:36 PDT

Hahah, I love the small clips, and how badly made the daleks are.

Also how obviously the abductee in the 3rd clip pulls the plunger onto her own face

ElRodente

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

Annalee Newitz — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 18:08:28 PDT

@Nivair: Or even excellently disturbing. I can never decide.

Annalee Newitz

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

Nivair H. Gabriel — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:37:22 PDT

WOW. How ... disturbingly excellent.

(Kids' show my ass!)

Nivair H. Gabriel

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

Gopherit — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:30:42 PDT

@Annalee Newitz: Does that mean a 4th clip?

Gopherit

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

ithidet — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:29:02 PDT

now i know why they always invade earth first...

ithidet

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

Annalee Newitz — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:24:44 PDT

I still really wish one of the Daleks had done a little more . . . probing.

Annalee Newitz

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

Gopherit — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:23:36 PDT

@Charlie Jane Anders: It took me until the third clip to realize they're all wearing fuck-me pumps. Nice attention to detail by the director.

This movie is a treasure. Enjoy it for many years to come.

Gopherit

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

Hoaxe — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:17:35 PDT

best website ever.

EVER I SAY!

Hoaxe

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

Zantor — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:09:53 PDT

@Charlie Jane Anders: Yes, I did but I thought I was having a mild stroke and ignored it.

Zantor

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

Charlie Jane Anders — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:05:32 PDT

@Zantor: I hope you noticed the BOING! sound effect when one of the Daleks prodded her.

Charlie Jane Anders

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

Zantor — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 16:59:53 PDT

Good thing she had that Louis Vuitton purse to sheild her from the evil advances of the Dalek probes.

God help me please.

Zantor

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

Zantor — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 16:55:37 PDT

@Charlie Jane Anders: Thanks for the heads-up

Zantor

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

Charlie Jane Anders — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 16:36:04 PDT

@Zantor: It's up there!

Charlie Jane Anders

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

Charlie Jane Anders — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 16:35:42 PDT

@Garrison Dean: I added the third clip, for your extra amusement.

Charlie Jane Anders

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

Zantor — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 15:50:58 PDT

@Gopherit: It ain't easy, I'll tell you.

Zantor

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

Zantor — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 15:48:35 PDT

"TITILLATE", "TITILLATE", "TIT-IL-LATE"!

Zantor

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

Project Thanatos — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 15:43:48 PDT

Anyone else notice the Godzilla theme playing in the background? God I'm such a geek :D

Project Thanatos

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

Gopherit — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 15:42:25 PDT

@Zantor: Yeah Charlie, haven't you teased poor Zantor enough?

Gopherit

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

Zantor — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 15:35:05 PDT

I do like the "Funky Chicken" treatment that the one on the right does in clip 2.

Zantor

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

Zantor — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 15:31:25 PDT

Jesus T.F. Christ! This is why Fan-Boys need girlfriends!
I'm embarrassed for my race!

(Where's the third clip already.)

Zantor

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

Garrison Dean, King Awesome — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 15:29:03 PDT

Well the boss broke out the friday beers which I took as a sign that all vices were open to consumption... great videos. Well produced (very well compared to early Dr Who), brilliantly casted, appropriately plotted. It gets a full smile on the Face of Bo scale.

And kudos to the teleportation effect, when you have something that works leave it on the screen for half a minute so everyone can soak it in.

Garrison Dean, King Awesome

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

Munkles — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 15:07:31 PDT

Glad I have Firefox. I can make those videos run any time I please with a simple add-on.

Munkles

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

Charlie Jane Anders — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 15:03:07 PDT

@Jeff-Minor: I think Bill Mumy is available.

Charlie Jane Anders

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

Gopherit — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 14:57:52 PDT

Errm. Thanks. I'll be in my bunk.

Gopherit

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

abrahamjoseph — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 14:49:35 PDT

hmm.. the auto-start seems to be happening for me...

this stuff is good, but nowhere NEAR as good as nasty canasta doing a burlesque as doctor number ten. that woman keeps my dreams warm at night.

abrahamjoseph

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

thecurse — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 14:35:31 PDT

I watched the first clip before the article, so I did not realize the women were Earthlings. I just assumed the Daleks found a lesbian planet.

It is a sad fact that regular scifi apparently has more lesbian planets than erotic scifi.

thecurse

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

Garrison Dean, King Awesome — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 14:33:36 PDT

@92BuickLeSabre: Here's the thing, I do have great affection for all those things, however I am also phenomenally shallow.

Garrison Dean, King Awesome

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

Jeff-Minor — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 14:27:29 PDT

Isn't bad enough that these robots gave me nightmares as a kid? Nice robo-porn. I can hardly wait to see Will Robinson sodimized by the Robot.

Jeff-Minor

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

darundal — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 14:27:24 PDT

I have never had an issue with the clips. Also, please put the third clip up. I want to laugh some more.

darundal

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

92BuickLeSabre — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 14:24:37 PDT

@Garrison Dean: I'm not sure you do. If you have any affection for the Doctor, the Daleks, or "the ladies" it will burn a tiny hole in your soul.

92BuickLeSabre

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

Gann — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 14:23:53 PDT

I wish the guy in the only cube in the office with a view of my monitor would go home early for once.

Gann

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

Surreality — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 14:19:16 PDT

(Chanting loudly) THIRD CLIP! THIRD CLIP! THIRD CLIP!

Surreality

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

Garrison Dean, King Awesome — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 14:17:24 PDT

Oh and for the title I would've gone with EXSPERMINATE... but thats just me. godiwannawatchthese.

Garrison Dean, King Awesome

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

Fleshbot — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 14:14:56 PDT

We would we totally jealous that you guys found and posted this first if it weren't SO FREAKIN' AWESOME. So proud to work with such fine bad porn-loving geeks as yourselves!

Fleshbot

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

92BuickLeSabre — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 14:07:41 PDT

Very impressive - the way they combined "peanut butter" and "chocolate" to create "cigarette butt in the bottom of a beer can" - that's pretty hard to do.

92BuickLeSabre

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

Garrison Dean, King Awesome — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 14:01:56 PDT

Grrr I'm at work!!! You have til I get home to put up the third clip.

Garrison Dean, King Awesome

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

Plague — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 14:01:16 PDT

Any of these woman would be a better "companion" than Rose.
And by "companion" I mean efftoy.

Plague

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

Frozen-Tex — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 13:54:55 PDT

Incidentally, why are the Daleks shooting tiny fried eggs at the women?

Frozen-Tex

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

Screedler — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 13:53:36 PDT

If only Rose were there it would be complete.

Screedler

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

Frozen-Tex — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 13:53:31 PDT

I have never had any problems with auto-starting clips, PLUS a software glitch that prevented any video from playing on my work computer seems to be fixed, so BRING ON THE THIRD CLIP!

Frozen-Tex

Ejaculate! Ejaculate! Daleks' Ultimate Aim Revealed (NSFW)

Annalee Newitz — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 13:45:40 PDT

Charlie, you are the best. Srsly.

Annalee Newitz