Could Penis-Controlled Computers Ever Catch On? [NSFW] - io9 Comments

Could Penis-Controlled Computers Ever Catch On? [NSFW]

nygenxer — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 07:08:40 PDT

You had me at "penis-controlled."

nygenxer

Could Penis-Controlled Computers Ever Catch On? [NSFW]

Silver_Back — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 20:46:13 PDT

I hear bad things happen when you get the blue screen of death when you're hooked up to this. Blood will be spilled.

Silver_Back

Could Penis-Controlled Computers Ever Catch On? [NSFW]

IrisMR — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:04:01 PDT

That is um... Very very sad. Sadder than some idiotic hentai games.

And they both look dead. That's uber creepy right there.

IrisMR

Could Penis-Controlled Computers Ever Catch On? [NSFW]

IchabodCrane — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 10:48:33 PDT

-
Heh, just had a thought...

No longer will carpal tunnel be a sign of abusing a computer.
Now it's the lack of carpal tunnel that's a sign of "abusing" a computer!

IchabodCrane

Could Penis-Controlled Computers Ever Catch On? [NSFW]

IchabodCrane — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 10:45:40 PDT

-
Ya know, this could be the start of a new geek meme.

Hey babe, I don't want to brag, but I can "mouse" all night!

Sorry, but I don't "point and click" on the first date...

IchabodCrane

Could Penis-Controlled Computers Ever Catch On? [NSFW]

Bob Bruhin — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 08:37:57 PDT

@ Annalee Newitz: ::swoons::

Bob Bruhin

Could Penis-Controlled Computers Ever Catch On? [NSFW]

92BuickLeSabre — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 06:41:16 PDT

@DocGratis: Well, there are plenty of us overlappers. Who...you know...might be guilty of just such a thing.

92BuickLeSabre

Could Penis-Controlled Computers Ever Catch On? [NSFW]

Goodnightbabytron — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 06:01:20 PDT

@Jeff-Minor: Yes, different sizes, and different attachments (lipstick vs. mustache)

Goodnightbabytron

Could Penis-Controlled Computers Ever Catch On? [NSFW]

Shiryu — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 04:26:53 PDT

Would require amazing amounts of stamina... or Viagra sales would triple overnight. Ill stick to my hands for the time being.

Shiryu

Could Penis-Controlled Computers Ever Catch On? [NSFW]

Gopherit — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 23:15:11 PDT

@Annalee Newitz: Funny. there are times I control my computer with my penial extender.....usually called the male brain.

Gopherit

Could Penis-Controlled Computers Ever Catch On? [NSFW]

ideaman2020 — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 21:32:12 PDT

@DocGratis: "As I said this isn't gizmodo, people didn't click on it just for the NSFW tag.."

Wait... this isn't Gizmodo?!? aw, crap.. I gotta go...

ideaman2020

Could Penis-Controlled Computers Ever Catch On? [NSFW]

ideaman2020 — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 21:29:37 PDT

"Could Penis-Controlled Computers Ever Catch On"

Umm.. no.

Some of us do use computers in the office, you know... [yes, I said "office", not "orifice"]

ideaman2020

Could Penis-Controlled Computers Ever Catch On? [NSFW]

taxbaby — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 20:53:46 PDT

@Annalee Newitz: Sometimes I sit around all day just right-clicking on stuff (on the internets and otherwise) for shits and giggles. Although of course, for me it's Apple-click, which isn't nearly as satisfying.

taxbaby

Could Penis-Controlled Computers Ever Catch On? [NSFW]

Annalee Newitz — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 20:35:31 PDT

@taxbaby: Oh I thought we were talking about real people. You can right-click on people on the internet too? The wonders of technology!

Annalee Newitz

Could Penis-Controlled Computers Ever Catch On? [NSFW]

taxbaby — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 20:17:59 PDT

@Annalee Newitz: Even better, there are pictures of people that are already naked available for free on the internet, and one doesn't even need any weird peripherals.
(Not, you know, that teledildonics isn't all very interesting.)

taxbaby

Could Penis-Controlled Computers Ever Catch On? [NSFW]

Annalee Newitz — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 19:02:46 PDT

@StrangelyBrown: I don't know what kind of dates you've been on, but I can usually get people to undress just by right clicking and selecting "disrobe" in the pull-down menu.

Annalee Newitz

Could Penis-Controlled Computers Ever Catch On? [NSFW]

StrangelyBrown — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 17:54:19 PDT

"You have to sit there hitting the "hand presents" or "take medicine" button for 10 minutes. Then she takes off her shirt. Then you have to fondle her by clicking for at least 15 minutes."

Wow, just like a real date!

StrangelyBrown

Could Penis-Controlled Computers Ever Catch On? [NSFW]

Annalee Newitz — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 16:11:34 PDT

@Plague: That's right. You've got the idea.

Annalee Newitz

Could Penis-Controlled Computers Ever Catch On? [NSFW]

amorphous — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 15:52:10 PDT

My penis has been controlling my brain for a decade and a half. Therefore this is nothing new.

amorphous

Could Penis-Controlled Computers Ever Catch On? [NSFW]

extracrispy — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 15:24:27 PDT

I was soooo confused by his chest hair. But then I clicked through to that Slashdong site (which btw is the funniest site name I've heard in ages) and now I know where they put the other half of his hair.

To quote one of the best movies of all time: "WE'VE GOT BUSH!"

extracrispy

Could Penis-Controlled Computers Ever Catch On? [NSFW]

bjarmson — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 15:12:31 PDT

@Annalee Newitz: Wow, I'm look forward to pictures of that.

bjarmson

Could Penis-Controlled Computers Ever Catch On? [NSFW]

Plague — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 15:11:10 PDT

@Annalee Newitz:
which have the geek tattoos, I assume.

Plague

Could Penis-Controlled Computers Ever Catch On? [NSFW]

Jeff-Minor — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 15:06:38 PDT

@Goodnightbabytron: Too small. LOL.

"And for the "gifted" man, the penitron 1000 comes in three special sizes: Large, Extra Huge and Don't You Wish?

Jeff-Minor

Could Penis-Controlled Computers Ever Catch On? [NSFW]

AZTriGuy — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 15:04:27 PDT

Well, generally, when it says "NSFW" that's generally the clue that there's something in there you might not want to see, or have others see. I don't read every story posted here, I look at the title and if it sounds like something that I want to know more on, I click on it. If it says "NSFW" in the title, then I know what's in store . . . generally, boobies, and I thank Annalee for that (even if they are poorly rendered computer game boobies, they are boobies nonetheless). The only thing I'm not sure about is why this story's on here, as it's not really sci-fi, and was already covered on Giz and Fleshbot today (funny, each site has it's own separate writeup rather than linking to the other Gawker sites).

And then, there is this nifty thing on my mouse called a scroll wheel. Something I don't want to see on a page, I just scroll right by it and get it off my screen.

AZTriGuy

Could Penis-Controlled Computers Ever Catch On? [NSFW]

Annalee Newitz — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 14:59:42 PDT

@bjarmson: We don't need a device. I can already control my computer with my labial extenders.

Annalee Newitz

Could Penis-Controlled Computers Ever Catch On? [NSFW]

DocGratis — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 14:53:03 PDT

@Annalee Newitz: But whatever, don't be offended by my request. Leave it, I don't care, I have my own office (so I won't get busted for NSFW issues)

DocGratis

Could Penis-Controlled Computers Ever Catch On? [NSFW]

DocGratis — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 14:52:05 PDT

@Annalee Newitz: Hey it is not about 'my tender eyes' but some of us really do read from work.

It really just doesn't add anything, "oohh look crappy rendering of breast."

As I said this isn't gizmodo, people didn't click on it just for the NSFW tag..

DocGratis

Could Penis-Controlled Computers Ever Catch On? [NSFW]

moff — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 14:50:50 PDT

There's a joke here about last night's South Park, but it's not coming.

OR MAYBE IT JUST DID.

moff

Could Penis-Controlled Computers Ever Catch On? [NSFW]

bjarmson — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 14:50:15 PDT

Gosh, even cyberbabes seems to have fake tits. And when will they get a device for women?

bjarmson

Could Penis-Controlled Computers Ever Catch On? [NSFW]

Belabras — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 14:50:14 PDT

...The horror... THE HORROR!

Belabras

Could Penis-Controlled Computers Ever Catch On? [NSFW]

Annalee Newitz — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 14:49:35 PDT

@DocGratis: Dude I already cut his dick out of the picture to spare your tender eyes. More than that I won't do.

Annalee Newitz

Could Penis-Controlled Computers Ever Catch On? [NSFW]

Goodnightbabytron — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 14:48:52 PDT

The input device looks too small.

Goodnightbabytron

Could Penis-Controlled Computers Ever Catch On? [NSFW]

Loserface — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 14:47:59 PDT

And here I thought I was the only one who control his computer with his penis.

Loserface

Could Penis-Controlled Computers Ever Catch On? [NSFW]

DocGratis — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 14:47:57 PDT

Oh and could we say cut out the NSFW pictures.. it really doesn't add anything.. (you could leave the radiation scared protagonist if you really want)

I think we can all visualize crappy X rate video game graphics...

(this isn't Gizmodo or Fleshbot)

DocGratis

Could Penis-Controlled Computers Ever Catch On? [NSFW]

DocGratis — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 14:42:58 PDT

And you thought your keyboard was dirty....

DocGratis