Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament? - io9 Comments

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

Guizzy — Tue, 06 May 2008 09:02:35 PDT

Rachel failed the Voight-Kampf, can't see her win that.

Guizzy

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

whiterabbit241 — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 14:50:15 PDT

han solo for the win!

sorry mal.

whiterabbit241

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

Ubik2501 — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 10:21:52 PDT

Spider Jerusalem wins with the under-the-table bowel disruptor at the most precisely timed moment. And he has a great poker face when it's deemed necessary.

Ubik2501

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

denisegp — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 21:13:52 PDT

Brock Samson FTW.

denisegp

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

Stueymon — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 19:05:38 PDT

Mal easily, he's a gambler already, tho i was looking at han solo (similar character really) and Riddick (who would just scare off everyone else

Stueymon

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

Mistro311 — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 17:24:01 PDT

Gambit FTW

Mistro311

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

tim_c — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 14:56:17 PDT

Teela from Ringworld FTW.

tim_c

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

gregoftheweb — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 13:09:57 PDT

Slippery Jim DiGriz, of course. Too bad he isn't in the list.

But since he's not there I'd vote for Solo, he's already won a high stakes poker match...against Lando a strong contender in this list in his own right.

I'd also like to add Trent the uncatchable from D.K.Moran's continuing time series. He walked through a wall once you know.

gregoftheweb

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

Cchrist — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 09:36:32 PDT

Oh shit i didn't see Mal there. Eh too bad too late how sad never mind.

Cchrist

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

doctor_cos — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 05:59:32 PDT

@ManchuCandidate: "Han for the win" ??? Is this poker or Hollywood Squares?

What about Bill Adama?

doctor_cos

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

doctor_cos — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 05:58:01 PDT

Rachel would win because everyone else would be distracted, trying to grasp if she's a replicant or not. Jeez.

doctor_cos

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

Slothrop — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 21:24:36 PDT

perhaps he's a villain and not an anti-hero, but, as always, my vote is for Vader. Think about it: the ultimate poker face, his respiration never changes, and he can see things, like the flop, the turn, and the river, before they happen. You can't bluff him, and he finds your lack of faith in his bluff disturbing.

Vader takes the bracelet. And then cuts the loser's hand off to hang the bracelet off of that.

Slothrop

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

RAHfanboy — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 19:16:36 PDT

I like the suggestions for Woodrow Wilson Smith (LL), Kai and Bender. I think HAL counts, he wasn't really a bad guy, he was just flawed through no fault of his own. The Doctor doesn't count as an anti-hero, but he'd be tough to beat with a hand full of "psychic cards."

RAHfanboy

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

Fri, 25 Apr 2008 17:00:55 PDT

@DearEditor: Yea, but his X-Ray specs got broken after that game. By cryogenic technicians. A real anti-hero would have fought/shot his way out of that situation.

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

comp_wiz101 — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 16:33:01 PDT

Last time Mal played a game of holo-pool with a slave trader he stole all of the guys cash. I vote Mal!

comp_wiz101

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

beelzebuddha — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 16:04:04 PDT

@jelodi: Heh! Fair enough. :-)

beelzebuddha

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

bigswingdaddy — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:51:31 PDT

Oops, I meant to express that if I can't read you rbody language you would have the ultimate poker face.

(slaps forhead)

bigswingdaddy

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

bigswingdaddy — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:50:51 PDT

Space James Bond FTW.

Or one of the non-humans, 'cause i can't read your kinesics if you is not a earth creature, hell it's tough enough with non-mammmals.

bigswingdaddy

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

sumocat — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:46:22 PDT

Riddick would totally win. He's got a stone cold poker face. You can't read his eyes. And his body language indicates he's going to kill you. He'd read everyone else like newspapers.

sumocat

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

etho — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:26:05 PDT

Jernau Morat Gurgeh. Of course. But that wouldn't even be fair.

I voted for Mal. Han could give him a run for his money, but Mal seems smarter. Case would fail miserably, much as I love Neuromancer. He's just no good with meatspace.

etho

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

russdanger — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:15:45 PDT

Doesn't anyone remember Darryl Revok?
Scanners?
Hello?
"My two-of-a-kind beats your Full-House."
"What?"
eeeeeeaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiggghghhhPOUMPH!!!!!!

russdanger

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

aspiringexpatriate — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 14:39:13 PDT

@braak: Yeah, and everyone would fold and he'd win the two penny pot. He'd still WIN!

aspiringexpatriate

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

jbq — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 14:17:15 PDT

@B: No.

@Miranda Kali: I actually don't think Bender would win; he'd get caught cheating, and kicked out, all sad and droopy-eyed. Then he'd do his wicked giggling, and pull Han's blaster, Spider's laptop, Riddick's goggles and everyone's jewelery and whatnot out of his compartment...

jbq

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

OW-Holmes — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 14:13:19 PDT

Had to vote for Han.

After all he did shoot first.

OW-Holmes

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

Castle1914 — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 14:10:06 PDT

@SigmundTheSeaMonster: and they're not heroes. Except in a few episodes of DS9, but nobody watched that show anyway.

*dodges eggs being thrown at him*

Castle1914

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

DearEditor — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 14:05:49 PDT

Voted for Solo, writing in Bender. Didn't Bender x-ray an opponents' cards in an episode?

River Tam would simply point to a player and exclaim "He/she has the best hand! Who deals next?"

DearEditor

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

atrus123 — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 14:02:51 PDT

Really, Rachael probably has the best poker face, but I voted for Case, as he's so often overlooked in sci-fi polls. Really though, the perfect poker player would be Molly from Neuromancer. She has those silver lenses grafted in her eyesockets and it takes a lot to get to her to show any emotion. Badass.

atrus123

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

SigmundTheSeaMonster — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 13:57:54 PDT

Han Solo.
Aeon Flux.

And why no mention of the Ferengi? They are businessmen, not poker players.

SigmundTheSeaMonster

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

wolfjoat — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 13:57:25 PDT

@AlfaCharger: We all know about that "special" way don't we. But he'd have to be careful about cheating at table, too many knives and other assorted weapons to make it worthwhile losing that part of him.

Personally I voted Riddick because he has an awesome poker face. And I think that Mal and Han would either cancel each other out or team up and clean the table. Though that would only be if Slippery Jim wasn't playing.

wolfjoat

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

AlfaCharger — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 13:49:10 PDT

Londo Mollari. He has that "special" way of handling cards!

AlfaCharger

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

Killa_Charlie — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 13:47:28 PDT

As good as Solo is, he'd cheat; and that shit don't fly when Mal is at the table.

Killa_Charlie

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

theOmegaMan — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 13:43:22 PDT

the dead assassin guy from Lexx. His expression never changed.

theOmegaMan

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

Ghede — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 13:41:05 PDT

Han Solo. He would cheat. It just seems like it would fit.

Ghede

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

Ghede — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 13:40:32 PDT

You left out Gully Foyle. Awwwwww.

Ghede

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

Lost_Thought — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 13:40:18 PDT

Where is Grammaton Monk First Class John Preston?? Oh, wait... card playing would fall under sense crime.

Lost_Thought

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

braak — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 13:37:22 PDT

Hahahah. Spider Jerusalem couldn't win shit at cards.

Every time he drew less than three of a kind he'd have to fucking rant about the hopeless depressingness of life for six pages.

braak

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

Mathmos — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 13:35:04 PDT

@All_Thumbs: Thanks. I'd pick Han for the best poker player among the choices Charlie gave us.

Mathmos

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

t3knomanser — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 13:34:58 PDT

@NefariousNewt: I love you so much. I just finished rereading The Stainless Steel Rat Wants You!.

t3knomanser

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

dirtybacon — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 13:29:51 PDT

I'd like to nominate Max Headrom... He'd be so damn annoying to play against, you'd never know what was going on.

but I'll vote for Han out of this list.

dirtybacon

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

jelodi — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 13:28:38 PDT

HAL is misunderstood, thats all. :-)

jelodi

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

beelzebuddha — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 13:25:42 PDT

@jelodi: Well, HAL is really an antagonist, where an anti-hero would be the protagonist. "Anti-" probably isn't helping with that distinction, but an anti-hero is usually considered one of "the good guys". Or gals.

beelzebuddha

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

All_Thumbs — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 13:20:57 PDT

@Mathmos: I voted for Han, but you are so right. Being, what, about a thousand years old? That would kinda help with the having and seeing through of poker faces. Not to mention he's an admitted cheat.

All_Thumbs

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

Auld_Lang_Ziety — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 13:19:20 PDT

Um, let's see.

Han Solo won his space ship in a card game.

Riddick killed a bunch of guys to get his.

Yep, definitely Solo, because Furyans don't play poker.

Auld_Lang_Ziety

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

learned_hands — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 13:11:58 PDT

wouldn't Case just hack all the other players bank accounts and leave them with just the chips on the table? Course, he's have to hire Molly Millions to watch his back afterwards so maybe he wouldn't make much of a profit.

learned_hands

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

Mathmos — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 13:07:34 PDT

Rachel isn't an anti-hero.

Anyway, I nominate Lazarus Long. Lots of experience.

Mathmos

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

daveNYC — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 13:07:24 PDT

I think Ms. Tam would be a much better player because she is insane.

And psychic. No problem figuring out when to hold or fold when you can read minds.

daveNYC

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

mcsey — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 13:06:33 PDT

Avon would be like Phil Helmuth... talking junk all the way, and then throwing a massive hissy fit when he got beat.

mcsey

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

Discodave — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 13:04:25 PDT

Even if Riddick isn't the best poker player with a seat at the table, at least he'd save money on expensive yet ludicrous sunglasses. It's difficult to read mirrored eyeballs, after all.

Discodave

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

ManchuCandidate — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 12:59:35 PDT

Han for the win as he beat Lando for the Falcon.

ManchuCandidate

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

Fri, 25 Apr 2008 12:58:26 PDT

Can I vote for Starbuck?

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

strangeasangels — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 12:56:27 PDT

And of course, after Han won, Spider Jerusalem would shoot him with the Bowel Disrupter and take the winnings to spend on cigarettes for his two-faced cat.

strangeasangels

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

jelodi — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 12:52:01 PDT

I'm surprised HAL 9000 wasn't on the list. He'd win.

jelodi

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

Priam — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 12:48:14 PDT

Why isn't Quark up there? or Garak? They might be from orthodox scifi(or unorthodox depending on the outcome of today's discussion) but they are both practiced liars. Quark even gambles. Garak would probably use the game to poison everyone.

Priam

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

Pope John Peeps II — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 12:47:04 PDT

A propos of nothing, Admiral Ackbar would be a great poker player. He always knows when it's a trap.

Pope John Peeps II

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

Miranda Kali — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 12:45:59 PDT

Of course, you know who'd really win this...Bender Bending Rodriguez..
(would he be considered an anti-hero...or an anti-sidekick...or an anti-human owner..?)

Miranda Kali

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

Castle1914 — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 12:45:31 PDT

Mal would look like he's winning until the very end. Avon would be card counting and expect to be winning. Aeon Flux and Riddick would be looking serious and in the end have to fold and leave because someone was trying to kill them. Rachel from Blade Runner would be asking Han for help. Mad Max never was good at cards.

In the end Solo would win because he's a gambler and knows the game.

Castle1914

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

Aethyr — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 12:45:07 PDT

@bioball: If we're also counting the movie version, Charlize Theron has only two faces: sultry and angry-sultry. Both are equally suitable for poker.

Aethyr

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

Priam — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 12:44:41 PDT

Mal seems like he would be a little to nice for cards. I think Ms. Tam would be a much better player because she is insane.

Priam

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

Miranda Kali — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 12:42:52 PDT

@bioball:
Yeah, but her luck is atrocious. I mean, come on...Wile E. Coyote doesn't have it that bad..

Miranda Kali

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

Djehuty — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 12:42:48 PDT

Nef Newt is right. The Stainless Steel Rat would trump them all.

Djehuty

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

Plague — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 12:40:55 PDT

I can see Jayne bein' a good cheat, but Mal?

Plague

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

olliverkirby — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 12:40:26 PDT

Marvel already did it, Thing #8

olliverkirby

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

bioball — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 12:39:44 PDT

I like Han, but while the character might have "played" more games of poker, Aeon Flux has him beat in terms of the moral ambiguity that allows a perfect poker face.

At least the Aeon from Chung...

bioball

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

Priam — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 12:38:06 PDT

If I can get nerdy on you for a moment, Han has won multiple tourneys in the EU of Star Wars.

Priam

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

NefariousNewt — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 12:36:51 PDT

Jim DiGriz of course -- he'd get everyone else to swindle each other while he sat back and mopped up.

NefariousNewt

Which Science Fiction Anti-Hero Would Win A Poker Tournament?

Final — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 12:35:37 PDT

Wouldn't they all just end up shooting at each other before the first hand was dealt?

Final