The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail - io9 Comments

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

spoppy — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 19:06:20 PDT

Also, I would put in a vote for Friendly Fire, sidekick of Fiery Flame, on the live action Tick show. Nowhere else has the inherent gayness of the superhero\sidekick dynamic been so hilariously explored.

spoppy

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

spoppy — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 18:58:35 PDT

Newt wasn't so much an annoying sidekick as Ripley's Arc of the Covenant, held captive by the brood mother's Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.

spoppy

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

mwells54 — Mon, 05 May 2008 11:28:34 PDT

No mention of Daggit?

mwells54

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

Meiran — Mon, 05 May 2008 10:32:35 PDT

@mllaneza: That reply is made of win.

I'm not sure which Robin we're talking about, it must be TV show Robin. Or maybe Jason Todd.

Because in the comics, Dick Grayson and Tim Drake _love_ asking questions and generally undermining Batman. That seems to carry over into the animated series as well, and Dick Grayson didn't seem like a complete pushover in the movies...

So all I can gather is we're talking about Burt Ward.

Meiran

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

rhorsman — Mon, 05 May 2008 07:35:00 PDT

I loved Newt. In Alien 3 that is.

rhorsman

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

SavannahJack — Mon, 05 May 2008 06:37:45 PDT

@jamescole: Spoon!

SavannahJack

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

zenpoet — Mon, 05 May 2008 06:31:34 PDT

@Garrison Dean, King Awesome: I don't know that the world would have ever been ready for such a pun.

It kind of reminded me of Vogon poetry. Not bad for a ten year old though.

zenpoet

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

Project Thanatos — Mon, 05 May 2008 06:16:00 PDT

"NO TIME FOR LOVE DOCTOR JONES!" makes Short Round winner by far.

Project Thanatos

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

905 — Mon, 05 May 2008 01:40:57 PDT

So, in Buck Rodgers, was Twiki the actual sidekick? or was Dr. Theopolis the actual sidekick, and Twikki was just the electronic mule? I always wondered exactly what the relationship was between those two.

(It's entirely possible they carefully explained that in the series, but my young eyeballs were to busy with Wilma. And it's quite possible you may be explaining it to me again now, and I'm still busy, and Im still preoccupied...)

[www.eringray.us]

905

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

knightstar — Mon, 05 May 2008 01:07:15 PDT

Film writers stick in silly sidekicks, especially kids to attract children to the film. They also provide comic relief to an otherwise droll effort. Its a shame writers keep re-making sequels of sequels. What happened to originality?

knightstar

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

Scroggzilla Raids Again! — Sun, 04 May 2008 15:58:16 PDT

@Scroggs!: Damn these confounded intertubes!

The only answer is Godzilla's "son", Minya aka Minilla aka "I hate that lil fucker!"

Scroggzilla Raids Again!

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

mllaneza — Sun, 04 May 2008 10:40:28 PDT

"Oh, and BTW, we all know about Robin, Batman and the love that dare not speak it's name."

We're currently several decades into the age when the love that dared not speak its name won't shut up. Especially on the Internet regarding anything that can be 'shipped.

mllaneza

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

MrLister — Sun, 04 May 2008 03:38:44 PDT

I don't understand how you could have left out Teddy from AI. I just don't understand it. Maybe you forgot about him, but on reflection, I bet you know you'd rather have him than any of these other loser sidekicks.

MrLister

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

Priam — Sun, 04 May 2008 00:15:08 PDT

Priam

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

jamescole — Sat, 03 May 2008 19:40:31 PDT

They mostly come out at night. Mostly.

jamescole

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

russdanger — Sat, 03 May 2008 18:38:38 PDT

The only Sci-fi cute sidekick I ever liked was "Dog" from "A Boy and his Dog", and that's only because he wasn't really the one who was the sidekick...

russdanger

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

tk. — Sat, 03 May 2008 18:28:51 PDT

Aw man, I really miss The Tick.

That aside, you can't diss on Newt. Newt rocks.

tk.

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

Mistrez_Mish — Sat, 03 May 2008 18:27:29 PDT

I <3 Snarf

Mistrez_Mish

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

jamescole — Sat, 03 May 2008 16:47:44 PDT

@B: Umm, "Not in the face" was Arthur's battle cry, not his catch phrase.

jamescole

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

ManchuCandidate — Sat, 03 May 2008 15:17:06 PDT

I hate cute in SF and best reserved for flushing out an airlock.

Old Man's War took a dump on cute with the tale of the Bambi like "Deer Men" who developed a taste for human babies.

Similar reasons why I always hated SF kids. In real life, kids in space would probably be kids getting spaced as most kids are accident prone or have a habit of doing stupid things and end up flushing themselves ass first out of an airlock or some sort.

I guess I would have made a fine Tribble hating grumpy Klingon's Klingon in a past SF life.

ManchuCandidate

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

Bloodboiler — Sat, 03 May 2008 14:56:17 PDT

It's a shame how little attention R2-D2 and C-3PO have gotten. Their relationship with their users has layers upon layers of depth.

Basically you have a moron who you can understand but who doesn't shut up, and then you have a smart trans can who understands you but can only communicate in a language that only the moron understands.
If you take only the trash can, you can work with it by giving orders, but it can communicate back with only onomonopoetic whistling.
If you take only the moron, it can work as a translator, but is otherwise useless and annoying.
Finally, if you take both you can communicate and work with the smart trash can, but you have to put up with both constant onomonopoetic whistling and constant blathering of a moron.

What a marvelous image of the whole IT industry. If you combine two crappy technologies you can get something that works, but you also get worst features of both in the same time.

Bloodboiler

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

EmperorofMongo — Sat, 03 May 2008 14:22:09 PDT

Tham- part the Second
You can see Tham, for a while at least at:
(But unless this reference unleashes a wave of nostalgia don't waste your cyber-quantas, nor your energy because you are certainly over 60 if you remember "Beyond Mars"

EmperorofMongo

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

Git Em SteveDave is a poor substitute for LindsayJoy — Sat, 03 May 2008 14:01:29 PDT

@SeeingI: After Windows Vista was installed in him, he was never the same:

Git Em SteveDave is a poor substitute for LindsayJoy

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

EmperorofMongo — Sat, 03 May 2008 13:58:40 PDT

THAM!!!!!!!!!!!!
In the '50 newspaper comic strip, "Beyond Mars" based on Jack Williamson's "Seetee Ship" universe of Asteroid Belt miners-

the forgettable hero's sidekick was a Venusian named "Tham", (He even lisped to make him cuter and so I suspect he signed his name as "Sam")
He was a green, metal skinned worm-centaur with a neotanous face and tiny high-set ears. His upper body was humanoid but below the chest he was a segmented worm.
He tended the SeeTee (Contra-Terrene matter -get it?)reactor, and ate rocks. Usefully, he did not breathe and so needed no space suit.
And he was devoted to the protagonist, what WAS his name? Jack something-- probably.

EmperorofMongo

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

Evil Tortie's Mom — Sat, 03 May 2008 12:57:55 PDT

@Nudemanatee: thanks for reminding me of DM. delightful.

Evil Tortie's Mom

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

Mister Adequate — Sat, 03 May 2008 12:54:09 PDT

Stitch was awesome, end of discussion.

Mister Adequate

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

SeeingI — Sat, 03 May 2008 10:17:53 PDT

What, no robot dogs? No K9, no Boxley? What of Twikki - WHAT OF TWIKKI???

SeeingI

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

hapeximendios — Sat, 03 May 2008 10:01:42 PDT

Maybe its because of my age when I first saw Temple of Doom, but Short Round never really bothered me. And "YOU CALL HIM DOCTOR JONES!" is no where near as endearing as "No time for love Doctor Jones!" I mean, really. And though it's not a movie proper, I'd throw out there 343 Guilty Spark from Halo. It was my favorite thing about any Halo game.

hapeximendios

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

primitiv — Sat, 03 May 2008 08:50:32 PDT

Bit from Tron FTW!

primitiv

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

Silver_Back — Fri, 02 May 2008 23:57:53 PDT

@Garrison Dean, King Awesome: *rolls up newspaper* Bad! Bad! Don't do that again! >:3

Silver_Back

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

Git Em SteveDave is a poor substitute for LindsayJoy — Fri, 02 May 2008 20:35:53 PDT

@beercheck: Why are we dragging Dog the Bounty Hunter into this discussion?

Git Em SteveDave is a poor substitute for LindsayJoy

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

Nudemanatee — Fri, 02 May 2008 20:22:54 PDT

Well, not true scifi, except for the flying car, but my all-time fave is Penfold from Dangermouse. Any hamster who can look the hero in the eye and claim he can't go on the dangerous mission because he "just remembered [he has] a cowards anonymous meeting" is ok with me.

Nudemanatee

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

foolish-rain — Fri, 02 May 2008 20:22:43 PDT

@Scroggs!: Wikipedia is the cutest failed scifi sidekick???

foolish-rain

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

Evil Tortie's Mom — Fri, 02 May 2008 19:58:33 PDT

@riotnrrd: @laughingacademy: So glad to see other people who get it too!

Evil Tortie's Mom

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

Mathmos — Fri, 02 May 2008 19:18:41 PDT

so you're saying: "Sidekick = yuck"

Mathmos

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

beercheck — Fri, 02 May 2008 18:48:21 PDT

@tim_c: Wow. I wait 20 minutes for my comment to finally post and bam, you'd already beaten me by 60 seconds.

beercheck

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

Scroggzilla Raids Again! — Fri, 02 May 2008 18:31:34 PDT

And this is it

[en.wikipedia.org]

Scroggzilla Raids Again!

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

Scroggzilla Raids Again! — Fri, 02 May 2008 18:29:35 PDT

I'm sorry. There is only one answer

Scroggzilla Raids Again!

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

beercheck — Fri, 02 May 2008 18:19:28 PDT

I'll see your Newt and raise you a Feral Kid.

beercheck

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

tim_c — Fri, 02 May 2008 18:18:41 PDT

I prefer the feral kid from Road Warrior.

tim_c

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

salamander42 — Fri, 02 May 2008 18:15:13 PDT

Jar-Jar Binks is #1 on my annoying sidekick list.

salamander42

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

darcymcgee — Fri, 02 May 2008 18:01:25 PDT

Morbo from Futurama cares not for puny sidekicks!

And what happened to Kandg...or would it be Kodos?

darcymcgee

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

Belabras — Fri, 02 May 2008 17:46:23 PDT

How can you hate Stitch? Especially after the scene where he builds the block city only to then knock it down doing a kaiju impersonation.

Belabras

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

riotnrrd — Fri, 02 May 2008 17:39:30 PDT

I have to agree with laughingacademy here. I recently saw TEMPLE OF DOOM and Short Round is fun for about five minutes total in the film: the poker game in the jungle, "You call him doctah Jones!", and throwing Indy's razor out the window so he can't score with Willie.

And whe he was beating the stuffing out of the Maharajah kid. But that's just because I love a good kid fight.

riotnrrd

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

Torley — Fri, 02 May 2008 17:33:38 PDT

I wonder, in Short Circuit, who's the sidekick? ;) I really did like Johnny 5's one-liners and his tendency to read quickly.

Torley

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

victheremin — Fri, 02 May 2008 17:21:44 PDT

I. Hate. Newt. And I liked that film, most ways.

This post starts to merge into what an insightful (and heinously annoying) SF afficionado I used to know called "The Horror Child." That is, a character that is brought in to cuten(sic?) up the series/film/etc. and also in the process, often save the day for no apparent reason and with no real skills. He was, at the time, referring to Wesley Crusher on STTNG -- and this was at the very outset of the series, so he SO got that right.

Oh, and BTW, we all know about Robin, Batman and the love that dare not speak it's name.

victheremin

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

bitgod — Fri, 02 May 2008 17:20:31 PDT

Aztecs stole my sidekick!

bitgod

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

Git Em SteveDave is a poor substitute for LindsayJoy — Fri, 02 May 2008 17:14:03 PDT

@EBone: That comment is SO not green.

Git Em SteveDave is a poor substitute for LindsayJoy

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

choinski — Fri, 02 May 2008 17:08:10 PDT

Double failure: If the cutesey sidekick (Eliot) is out-cuted by the hero (ET) you are in serous saccharine-diabetic crash mode.

choinski

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

Git Em SteveDave is a poor substitute for LindsayJoy — Fri, 02 May 2008 17:06:11 PDT

Wasn't Billy the sidekick, not Gizmo? Billy just did what Gizmo(do) couldn't do b/c he was so small. The Rambo scene was just like any major heroes montage scene.

Git Em SteveDave is a poor substitute for LindsayJoy

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

TheThirdDave — Fri, 02 May 2008 16:52:25 PDT

I can't believe Twiki wasn't on the list!

bittybittybitty

TheThirdDave

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

Garrison Dean, Mr. Privilege — Fri, 02 May 2008 16:33:31 PDT

@Dunny0: I came up with that one when I was about 11 and have wanted a good excuse to use it since.

Plus, don't think they can revoke a star... its like being tenured.

Garrison Dean, Mr. Privilege

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

Fri, 02 May 2008 16:26:21 PDT

Plus, Arthur had the better catch phrase. "Not in the face, not in the face."

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

Priam — Fri, 02 May 2008 16:25:38 PDT

What about the Ferengi of DS9?

Priam

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

Dunny0, ELE Hopeful — Fri, 02 May 2008 16:22:55 PDT

@Garrison Dean, King Awesome: ...
You should have your star revoked for a pun that bad.

Hud was awesome. His total cluelessness was what made the movie for me... That and the fact that he's pretty much the only one in the cast I could identify with on any level.

Dunny0, ELE Hopeful

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

Garrison Dean, Mr. Privilege — Fri, 02 May 2008 16:06:38 PDT

You know why the xenomorphs were after the girl in Aliens right?

She was Newtritious.

Happy Friday everyone!

Garrison Dean, Mr. Privilege

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

laughingacademy — Fri, 02 May 2008 16:03:14 PDT

Yeah, we really need an edit comment function.

laughingacademy

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

EBone — Fri, 02 May 2008 15:59:38 PDT

@laughingacademy: But was he less annoying than Kate Capshaw?

EBone

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

laughingacademy — Fri, 02 May 2008 15:58:57 PDT

@laughingacademy: Capshaw, not McGraw. *headdesk*

laughingacademy

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

laughingacademy — Fri, 02 May 2008 15:58:22 PDT

Short Round went from charming to grating reeeeally fast, though he was still less anoying than Kate McGraw.

laughingacademy

The Cutest Science Fiction Sidekicks, And Why They Fail

EBone — Fri, 02 May 2008 15:57:43 PDT

Newt, followed second by the Chris Tucker character in The Fifth Element.

"Aye-firmative"

EBone