Tomorrow never looked lamer than it did when it slipped on a pair of these spring-loaded shoes of the future known as "Z-coils." The Z-coil company makes a wide range of hideous shoes, marketed as a high-tech solution to the walking problem faced by many people today. Unfortunately the results are something even a shoe fetishist couldn't love. More sartorial horrors of the future below.

Here's the scary athletic shoe model, which you can use to crush androids underfoot or spring to your job at the nanofactory.

And here is all the proof you need — other than watching Z-coil's instructional video — that these shoes are truly scientific and certainly cutting-edge. I know Alvin "Future Shock" Toffler said the future would be psychotic, but I don't remember him ever mentioning "orthotic" . . .

Zcoil [company site]