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Help! My Partner Is Addicted to Collecting Toys and It's Freaking Me Out

Hey, folks! Sorry to dispense with my normal nonsense, but I got a really important letter that I‘m very excited to share. I don’t get a ton of letters dealing with real issues, but I’m always happy to try to help. If you only read this for silliness, don’t worry—there’s still an insane Mad Max theory and the world’s… »9/03/15 12:10pmYesterday 12:10pm

Will the Game of Thrones TV Series Actually Stand the Test of Time?

Greetings, folks! I’m in the desolate ruins of New York City, visiting the former Gawker offices for the first time (honestly, it’s hard to tell what was destroyed in the apocalypse and what is just unfinished construction). But there’s always time for mail, including why toy collectors are so bitter, whether movie… »8/27/15 12:35pm8/27/15 12:35pm

What’s Next for the Marvel Movies After Infinity War?

Greetings, my fantastic friends! (finger guns) Don’t worry, not all the questions in this week’s mailbag are about a certain fantastic flop, although there are a few; I guess that’s what I get for not doing a FAQ. But I also try to solve one of Star Wars’s weirdest, nerdiest mysteries—why the hell is C-3PO programmed… »8/13/15 12:00pm8/13/15 12:00pm

Why Taking the Thing’s Pants Off Was Such a Dumb Idea

Greetings, my friends! In today’s “Postal Apocalypse” we discuss whether zombies need to eat, a fascinating Star Wars theory about Obi-Wan the prequels ruined, and why the Thing’s lack of underpants is emblematic of the new Fantastic Four movie. I mean, look at that picture and just try not to stare at his crotch. You… »8/06/15 12:15pm8/06/15 12:15pm

The Difference Between Sexiness and Sleaziness in Superhero Comics

Greetings, my pernicious pen partners! I actually had thought that I’d be able to have a “Postal Apocalypse” last week during Comic-Con. Comic-Con had other plans that involved me working 14-hour days and sobbing hysterically at my desk, begging for the sweet release of death. But I’m better now! So on with your… »7/16/15 12:22pm7/16/15 12:22pm

We Have Our New Spider-Man—So Which Villain Will He Fight First?

Greetings, my pencil pals! Sorry about last week’s missing column; as it turns out I managed to catch a Mutant Deathvirus (mild infection) from the Radioactive Biker Crocodiles of Texas (air travel). I was basically unconscious all last week. But I’m up now, and rarin’ to answer some of your letters (earn my paycheck)! »6/25/15 1:03pm6/25/15 1:03pm

What’s Wrong With The Supergirl Trailer? Everything And Nothing.


Greetings my post-apocalyptic pen pals! Full disclosure: We have lost all pen technology in my dark future. However, I do know who the best supervillain on TV is, what Thanos’ evil plan in the MCU is, and more, so it all works out, more or less. Besides, we still have pencils, even if we mostly use them to stab tiny… »5/21/15 12:42pm5/21/15 12:42pm

Why Michael Bay Can Make Movies About Cartoons That Kids Can’t See

Greetings but no salutations, my friends! We have no time for salutations because we have important things to talk about! Why is Michael Bay allowed to turn TMNT into softcore porn? What the hell is happening to Sansa on Game of Thrones? And, most importantly, why do I hate Batman? (Answer: I’m secretly Egghead.) »5/07/15 12:00pm5/07/15 12:00pm

The Art Of Tricking Normal People Into Enjoying Nerdy Entertainment

Greetings, ladies and gentlemen! It’s another fine day here in my vague post-apocalypse, although any day I can sit and answer your mail instead of running from plague-ridden puppy-scorpions is all right in my book. Today we’re talking about the new Joker, why Daredevil can’t curse, Kryptonian sex taboos, and more! »4/30/15 12:50pm4/30/15 12:50pm

Can Superheroes Assert Legal Rights Without Revealing Their Identities?

Welcome to the All-New, All-Different Postal Apocalypse! It’s like nothing you’ve ever seen before, unless you’ve actually read my silly little mail column before. I have a superhero legal question that is going to blow your mind — seriously! — followed by The Force Awakens, Batman V. Superman, Game of Thrones and… »4/23/15 12:05pm4/23/15 12:05pm

The Greatest Nerd Love Of All Is The One That Is Unrequited

Greetings, my mail-carrier carrion! Okay, that was a weird thing to call you. I absolutely promise I will not leave your corpses out to feed the horrifying scavengers — animal, human or mutant — that stalk this post-apocalyptic land. If it can be avoided. Hopefully. Look, I'll try. Let's just read some letters, okay? »3/25/15 9:40am3/25/15 9:40am